Devour me.
I've been avoiding writing here since I have nothing new to tell you. My weight isn't the same, the numbers have only gone up. Which makes me hate myself. I'm unable to control myself when it comes to eating. In the back of my mind I'm sreaming to myself not to eat but somehow it all gets lost when I start to eat. To tell you the truth, I've gained over 2kg's just in several days. And it kills me.
I've binged and purged. Yes purged, although I promised myself never to do it. I let myself and everyone else down. And I hate myself for that. Even my boyfriend noticed it and I couldn't do anything but cry. i need help but no one seems to take me seriously, not even my doctor. This cycle has devoured me and I don't know wheter to love or hate it.
This life is wearing me down and I'm pushing forward with my last strength. I don't know what I want anymore.
I want that my boyfriend would give up on me and I could finally let go..of everything.
I've binged and purged. Yes purged, although I promised myself never to do it. I let myself and everyone else down. And I hate myself for that. Even my boyfriend noticed it and I couldn't do anything but cry. i need help but no one seems to take me seriously, not even my doctor. This cycle has devoured me and I don't know wheter to love or hate it.
This life is wearing me down and I'm pushing forward with my last strength. I don't know what I want anymore.
I want that my boyfriend would give up on me and I could finally let go..of everything.