(no subject)
I don't have anything to say except depressing things. I missed new year's eve with my friends because I was stuck in midland with emil's family. I missed my appointment with the depression center and resceduald, but my current med supply won't last me until the new appt... everyone is convinced that if I leave the country I will die. I haven't even begun to look for a job. I'm so depressed, I've been seeping more than I'm awake. I wish someone knew what to do, I'm scared and alone. I proposed to emil, he said "not yet" i knew he would say that. I'm worried he's scared, I'm scared, to be alone. I want to move. to have horses. to be hap