there's nothing I can do to draw you close to me
I KNEW TODAY WOULD BE A BAD DAY.
Ugh, I hate writing long entries. But here it isss.
Soo. Last week Devin asked me to go to a Dashboard show with him (which is tonight). And my mom said I couldn't, but I never actually told him I couldn't. He just assumed. So I go online this morning and Cristine's away message is "sleep, school, concert." So I was like fuck, what another concert could it be. Then it dawned on me that she was probably going with Devin. And I got fucking pissed off, even though I wasn't sure yet. So then I asked Devin if he was still going, and he said "yeah.. you said you couldn't go, right?" And even though I didn't, I just said, "right," because I didn't want to start something else. So I was like, "well who are you going with?" And he said his brother or maybe Cristine. And I knew that he really meant Cristine, I'm not stupid. Plus her away message said so. So then I was just plain mad. And I know, I know, I have no real reason to be mad. They're just friends going to a concert or whatever. But I don't think of it that way. I guess you just have to be inside my mind to understand. So when I got to school I was telling Juilana about it and she actually understood me and took my side. And I saw Cristine and I swear to God I almost fucking hit her. So we were walking in the hallway, and just as she was saying, "I hate Cristine," Cristine's boyfriend, Brian, walks right past and he gave us some weird look. So we were like ehh shit. So we had to chase him across the school so we could talk to him. Well Juilana wanted to, actually. So she was like, "Sam, tell him." And I was like, "tell him what?" So then she just started talking. And she goes, "Sam thinks Devin and Cristine have a 'thing'." And I was like huhhh. Then she asked Brian if he knew about Cristine going with Devin, and he goes, "yeah, she told me last week." So yeah, they've been planning this for a week? Great. But yeah. Then they talked about something else which I don't remember. Then we walked away and went to hang out with other people. Then we saw Brian go over to Cristine and tell her everything that just happened. And she shot me this like murderous glance. And it made me laugh. Then for the rest of the day I forgot about it. But then I came home and both of their away messages was about it and Cristine called him "Devi" again, which makes me want to shoot her. So then I wasn't so over it anymore and I was mad again. So yeah. Now they're both there together, having a grand old time. And I won't talk to him tonight and I won't hang out with him tomorrow because he'll be so tired from the concert and school. By the way, he promised we would hang out this week and we still haven't and the last possible chance is Friday but I doubt that's going to happen. So whatever. If he forgots, that sucks for him.
Ugh, I hate writing long entries. But here it isss.
Soo. Last week Devin asked me to go to a Dashboard show with him (which is tonight). And my mom said I couldn't, but I never actually told him I couldn't. He just assumed. So I go online this morning and Cristine's away message is "sleep, school, concert." So I was like fuck, what another concert could it be. Then it dawned on me that she was probably going with Devin. And I got fucking pissed off, even though I wasn't sure yet. So then I asked Devin if he was still going, and he said "yeah.. you said you couldn't go, right?" And even though I didn't, I just said, "right," because I didn't want to start something else. So I was like, "well who are you going with?" And he said his brother or maybe Cristine. And I knew that he really meant Cristine, I'm not stupid. Plus her away message said so. So then I was just plain mad. And I know, I know, I have no real reason to be mad. They're just friends going to a concert or whatever. But I don't think of it that way. I guess you just have to be inside my mind to understand. So when I got to school I was telling Juilana about it and she actually understood me and took my side. And I saw Cristine and I swear to God I almost fucking hit her. So we were walking in the hallway, and just as she was saying, "I hate Cristine," Cristine's boyfriend, Brian, walks right past and he gave us some weird look. So we were like ehh shit. So we had to chase him across the school so we could talk to him. Well Juilana wanted to, actually. So she was like, "Sam, tell him." And I was like, "tell him what?" So then she just started talking. And she goes, "Sam thinks Devin and Cristine have a 'thing'." And I was like huhhh. Then she asked Brian if he knew about Cristine going with Devin, and he goes, "yeah, she told me last week." So yeah, they've been planning this for a week? Great. But yeah. Then they talked about something else which I don't remember. Then we walked away and went to hang out with other people. Then we saw Brian go over to Cristine and tell her everything that just happened. And she shot me this like murderous glance. And it made me laugh. Then for the rest of the day I forgot about it. But then I came home and both of their away messages was about it and Cristine called him "Devi" again, which makes me want to shoot her. So then I wasn't so over it anymore and I was mad again. So yeah. Now they're both there together, having a grand old time. And I won't talk to him tonight and I won't hang out with him tomorrow because he'll be so tired from the concert and school. By the way, he promised we would hang out this week and we still haven't and the last possible chance is Friday but I doubt that's going to happen. So whatever. If he forgots, that sucks for him.