its been ninty-nine days, four hours & four mintues
since my last journal entry & has anything fucking changed in my life since then? i didn't think so.
are you still worth it? the glass is broken so is your smile. ive got 500 envelopes with 500 secrets, thats one for each time you made me smile. your eyes are filled with disappointment & i loved the way you loved to laugh. you speak of the future & things to come. does this not resemble a child during an outlandish truancy rampage? i fell victim to everything you said. hook, line & sinker, lured in like a fish on a hook, snap the lock shut to be distracted by temptation. i feel hopeless, stuck in a desert with a map excluding a legend. im so puzzled, you're a puzzle with pieces that don't fit. the results of our conflicts are a complex mathematical equation that can't be calculated by the human mind. do you really believe im only saying this to make myself sound more intelligent? i cant bring myself to reason with your unreasonable self. everything about us was composed of fiction, dealing with nothing fairy tail's we tried to follow in a fairy tale life but in actuality we should have been dealing with reality before everything cought up to us. i must have stepped off in the wrong direction on the wrong foot, i feel further away from you then i have ever been. have we ever been this far apart? do you also have that lump in the back of your throat? is my heart still bleeding? is my pulse still beating? i remember we meet here in the fall, the only thing that was falling then besides the leaves on the trees was my heart for yours, this is where we ended up. we haven't said a word since we both sat down. this is the last conversation well ever have. my palms are shaking i can barely ash my cigarette, my lips are so dry i can barely taste your lips from the night before. every things on my mind without a single word to say. i ask myself only one more question, are you still worth it?
are you still worth it? the glass is broken so is your smile. ive got 500 envelopes with 500 secrets, thats one for each time you made me smile. your eyes are filled with disappointment & i loved the way you loved to laugh. you speak of the future & things to come. does this not resemble a child during an outlandish truancy rampage? i fell victim to everything you said. hook, line & sinker, lured in like a fish on a hook, snap the lock shut to be distracted by temptation. i feel hopeless, stuck in a desert with a map excluding a legend. im so puzzled, you're a puzzle with pieces that don't fit. the results of our conflicts are a complex mathematical equation that can't be calculated by the human mind. do you really believe im only saying this to make myself sound more intelligent? i cant bring myself to reason with your unreasonable self. everything about us was composed of fiction, dealing with nothing fairy tail's we tried to follow in a fairy tale life but in actuality we should have been dealing with reality before everything cought up to us. i must have stepped off in the wrong direction on the wrong foot, i feel further away from you then i have ever been. have we ever been this far apart? do you also have that lump in the back of your throat? is my heart still bleeding? is my pulse still beating? i remember we meet here in the fall, the only thing that was falling then besides the leaves on the trees was my heart for yours, this is where we ended up. we haven't said a word since we both sat down. this is the last conversation well ever have. my palms are shaking i can barely ash my cigarette, my lips are so dry i can barely taste your lips from the night before. every things on my mind without a single word to say. i ask myself only one more question, are you still worth it?