The End of The Begining!
okay... so 7/18 was a day that totally changed everything!... allow me to explain... so I was "late" and I had been especially moody as of late... so I was like what the fuck? I need to know for sure if I'm prego or not.. so I go up early and I went to walmart bought a pregnancy test... got home took it... tell me why with in 20 mutherfucking seconds it was positive... oh my gad I thought my world had ended I wanted to just jump off bridge... I called amy... cause I figured she would understand... so we went to the planed parenthood and waited forever... I peed in a cup... within five minutes... yeah I was in a room with this lady telling me I am in fact pregnant and aI'm due in march and its a blessing and all the while I'm fucking crying... ahhhhhhhhhh I was so emo... yes I wasn't sure what I was gonna do... I know I wouldn't be able to go through with an abortion and live with myself.. but it seemed like the only way... but I just kept being emo... I went to work and everyone seen I was all fucked up... so amber was like whats wrong? you pregnant? and I was like yah... she was like shut the fuck up your kidding right? and I was like no... but then she had to go back to the pharmacy so then I ended up telling jenny.. she was like its gonna be okay...so then finally amber and I went on lunch together and we were in my cur driving to mc d's and she's like I didn't even know you were having sex... and I was like yeah I don't normally go telling people... haha... she was like whos the daddy and I was like gene... she started laughing hysterically... and was like "what??" so she proceeded to tell me I should in fact keep it and i had to tell gene... I was so scared of telling him... yeah so after talking to amber I felt a lot better...
so yesterday... I decided I should go tell gene.. I was gonna wait till today but I couldn't.... so I called the shop to see if he was thur... and the lady told me he'd be there in 20 mins so I started driving... yeah I was so fucking scared I was getting sick... oh man... so finally I show up... and the lady tells me to just go to the back and gene is sitting at his station facing the wall so he can't see me... and I was like geno.... and he got up and was like hey whats up? and hugged me and I was like nothing... he was like how are you? and I was like i'm okay.. and he was like come sit down... and I was shaking.. I just couldn't tell him.. I was so scared... so then I was just sitting thur and he was like so are you okay? and I was like yah i"m okay... what are you doing?(he was messing with his comp) and he was like just working on some new business cards.. and I was like cool.. so then I was like geno... I'm pregnant.. and he was like are you sure? and I told him about the tests.. and he was like so what do you want to do? and I was like I want to keep it... and he was like okay... and he just sat there silently staring at the wall... then he was like yeah I'm gonna have to get "real" job... I was like I'm sorry... and he was like its my fault too... and we just sat there in silence and he was like I don't know what to say... so the silence dragged on...so I told him I should leave and he was like hey call me... and I was like okay... and I left and I got in my car and cried... yeah... I'm emo... haha
but life is gonna be okay....
talked to amber after he talked to her... and he's not mad... He's just scared about making it financially... and stuff like that... haha he told amber he's gonna have to start buying misfits onesies and pumpkin pacifires... yeah...
I talked to him.. and i found out why he hadn't been calling and what was up with him... I guess his mom is getting really sick and she doesn't want to go to the doctor and they're all worried... and yeah he didn't mean to be a dick... but yeah so we're gonna call eachother and make this work... yeah... but its gonna be fine...
<3
Ruby