Fic, Fujicest, "Alternative Normality" #8
Eighth part of Alternative Normality. Yuuta has another dream, which aids him in making a decision about his feelings for Shuusuke.
One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven
"Aniki, what are you doing...?"
Shuusuke presses up against Yuuta's back and continues unbuttoning Yuuta's shirt from behind, nimble fingers making it seem effortless. "Loving you," he says, right by Yuuta's ear. "You know you want me to..."
"Er," Yuuta says. "Can't you just buy me a game or something?" He is, however, distracted by Shuusuke's warm breath playing over his neck very, very gently, and he knows that Shuusuke is right: he does want him to, even though he shouldn't.
"This will be much better than a game..." Shuusuke purrs, again right by his ear, and now Yuuta doesn't doubt it. His shirt is hanging open, and aniki's fingers are playing over his chest, and it's already better than most of his game collection. Everything from last year, at least.
Shuusuke licks his neck, very slowly, and then gently blows on his skin, making Yuuta tingle from the slight chill. "Is there anything you'd like me to do, Yuuta?" He's still trailing his finger tips over Yuuta's torso, and it feels more intense because he can't actually see aniki; all he can do is feel him behind him; feel him nuzzling at his neck and whispering things into his ear. "Any fantasies of me? Because," he says, slipping his hands below the waistband of Yuuta's trousers, "I'll do anything you've dreamed of me doing. Anything, Yuuta..."
All Yuuta can do for a moment is concentrate, very very hard, on aniki's hands, flush to his skin, resting on his lower stomach, movement restricted until he decides to actually unbutton Yuuta's trousers as well.
Yuuta tries to say something, but his voice squeaks instead and Shuusuke chuckles in his ear; a low, rich sound, like dark chocolate would sound if it could laugh. Aniki is chocolate and velvet and silk, and Yuuta doesn't know how he's meant to refuse such a combination. No one would blame him, he thinks. He hopes.
He tries again to speak, and is more successful this time. "There was... there was, ah, something you did in..."
"In another dream?" Shuusuke prompts, massaging Yuuta's abdomen with the palms of his hands and teasingly licking his ear lobe when Yuuta nods.
"In... in another dream, yes. You were..."
"... mmn, what was I doing, Yuuta?"
"Er, you were... ah, with your mouth..." Yuuta thinks that aniki must be able to feel his face getting hot, even behind him.
"I was kissing you...?" Shuusuke sounds like he's smirking, and Yuuta feels an exotic cocktail of excitement and embarrassment. Aniki is going to make him say it, even though it's more than evident that he'd rather not.
"... kind of..." Yuuta mumbles. He would have shuffled his feet, had aniki not been wrapped behind him.
"'Kind of', hmm?" Shuusuke chuckles in his ear again, like velvet on silk. "Would you like me to undo your trousers, is that it?"
Yuuta nods, cheeks burning. When Shuusuke does not seem to be moving his hands, though, he is forced to nod again, and say "... yes."
Aniki slips his hands back out, trailing his fingers up Yuuta's stomach as he does so, and then deftly undoes the button and unzips him; all, again, without looking. Yuuta knows he's aroused, because he can feel him pressed up behind him, and this just makes Yuuta's condition worse. How has aniki made him ache like this in only a matter of minutes?
Yuuta thinks that Shuusuke's going to play with him a little more, but Shuusuke surprises him by easing his trousers over his hips and letting them fall onto his feet with a soft sound. Yuuta feels more exposed than he would have liked, but he's soon distracted by aniki rubbing him through his underwear, and then it soon stops to matter at all, even when Shuusuke's eased his boxer shorts down as well. Yuuta steps out of both at aniki's direction, and then sits down on the bed, back against the wall, still wearing his open shirt.
Shuusuke joins him on the bed; he is still fully dressed, but the thin material of his own trousers doesn't leave much to Yuuta's imagination, which is already spinning in super revolutions.
"I remember you tasting delicious, Yuuta..." he says, and then he lowers his head but not his eyes, and...
This dream haunted Yuuta for all of Wednesday. From the moment he awoke, gasping and drenched in sweat, to the moment he drifted off to sleep that night, after finally giving in and reliving the dream with his own hand, it never left his consciousness. He had only vague recollections of his lessons, and barely less vague memories of talking with his friends. Afternoon tennis practice had been a joke, and Mizuki had sent him away after half an hour, telling him not to return until he'd got whoever it was who was making him lose it completely out of his system. Yuuta couldn't remember if he'd sounded amused or angry. Knowing Mizuki, it was probably a mixture of the two; he'd mellowed a little bit after their defeat to Seigaku, but only a little bit. Yuuta was probably lucky that Mizuki would have four weeks to forget about his bad performance before club started again.
When he woke on Thursday, he felt almost disappointed that he'd not had any similar dreams. All that had happened last night had been a crazy man in a hamster suit running about with spoons, and however he looked at it, it just didn't have the excitement value that oral pleasurings from aniki did. Probably nothing did, which worried Yuuta more than a little bit. He was more aware of what was going on around him today (at least so far, anyway), but he was finding he was missing the daydream haze of yesterday, and he just couldn't make that seem like a good thing; not when it was aniki. He was going to have to sort himself out - and today! - because tomorrow, aniki and Yumiko would be picking him up to go home, and one or both of them was bound to notice that he was acting strangely if he was still thinking about aniki in ways he shouldn't.
He needed some way of not thinking about aniki, but... the dreadful, dreadful thing was that Yuuta didn't think he did want to stop. Was he going to have to accept that he was attracted to his own brother?
"Signs point to yes" replied the mysteriously-gifted magic eight ball from Tuesday. Yuuta threw it back into its corner.
So. If he really actually was attracted to aniki, which was what it looked like, then... well, what was he meant to do? He didn't think that there was any way it could ever be something that anyone would approve of, and that sat uneasily with Yuuta. And - even if he decided he was going to allow himself to accept what was happening to him for what it was, there was no way he could actually tell aniki how he was feeling, because what if he was wrong and aniki didn't mean his flirting in any serious way? Yuuta would feel like a freak! He'd never be able to look aniki or their mother in the eye ever again!
It might seem okay if aniki did mean everything he said, though. And he had said that there was something he wanted to tell him when he came home. And it had sounded important. And aniki had said they'd be alone...
Maybe Yuuta would let himself be seduced, if aniki wanted to do it. He'd wanted to do it in yesterday's dream, and Yuuta certainly hadn't minded then, so maybe it wouldn't be terrible if it did actually happen...
There was no way that Yuuta would make the first move, though. He had to promise himself at least that, else he'd lose part of his pride, and really, there wasn't that much left of it at the moment, so he couldn't stand to lose any more. But if aniki confessed some sort of stupid undying love, maybe Yuuta would say that he loved him back, and they could go from there. What would aniki be expecting, though? He'd want Yuuta to kiss him, wouldn't he? Would he want Yuuta to do what he had done in Yuuta's own dream? Would Yuuta want to do it? These were all important, pertinent questions!
As Thursday drew to a close, Yuuta came to the eventual conclusion that he wouldn't mind doing that sort of thing, maybe, if it would please aniki. He packed all of his nicest clothes in the case he was taking home so that he would be wearing something good if aniki did want to undress him. He also packed breath mints, and the aftershave his mother had bought for him just after his birthday despite the day he'd have to start shaving being at least a few years away; it smelled nice, and aniki probably liked it when things smelled good. He could have gone to ask Mizuki for some actual cologne, but that would have raised too many awkward questions, and besides, there was a chance that Mizuki was angry with him for his awful performance at practice yesterday.
Yuuta went to bed still feeling a bit confused about everything, but at least, he thought, he had decided how he was going to deal with his feelings for aniki. If aniki did something, then Yuuta would probably go with it and do things back - but if aniki did nothing, then neither would Yuuta. It seemed like a good plan, and Yuuta was pleased with it.
It didn't quite solve the problem of what he was meant to do if he ended up thinking about Tuesday night's dream when he was actually with aniki, though. But that was a problem he could figure out tomorrow during class, for tomorrow was a half day, and so Yuuta had 'til lunch time to iron out any creases.
More pressing, for the moment, was whether to pack the eight ball or not.