Light and Dark (Theo Walcott/Jack Wilshere)
Title: Light and Dark
Pairing: Theo Walcott/Jack Wilshere
Rating: M
Word Count: 4300 words
A/N: For Rachie (darkblue ) for our shared love of this too-cute pairing and her unending support for my efforts on this fic. I hope it lives up to expectations.
*
Theo Walcott was thrown onto the international stage at the young age of 17. When Theo told his father the news over the phone his voice sounded hollow, full of shock; he was certainly not expecting it. Hell, he was shopping with his girlfriend when he found out.
The limelight was bright. Startlingly so. Theo Walcott and Wayne Rooney were the New Generation. And whilst Sven temporarily forgot Theo’s age, the press didn’t. Rooney ended up struggling for form and Theo was a groupie touring with a rock band. (You were special enough to tag along but not that special; they were the superstars, not you.)
Yet when the England team fell apart you somehow played a role, having not played at all.
*
They were more careful with Jack.
Although there was talk of it Jack never went to a World Cup at the age of 17. Jack played in tournaments befitting his age. The limelight was bright still; not so startling. Less pressure.
Theo was dropped from the next World Cup; a combination of injuries in the 4-year interim and the chances he didn’t take. The media wondered if Theo would have been better off if he never went to Germany. Theo wondered too.
Theo wondered sometimes if he was destined to be the guinea pig and Jack the finished product, basking in the light whilst Theo hovered in his shadow.
*
Well, he’s seen Theo before, watching from the sidelines, from across the training ground, whilst he was in the Reserves and Theo practicing with the first team. He’s seen Theo running faster than everyone else, tearing down the pitch; he’s seen Theo mucking around with his other teammates, the sheepish smile of victory when he realizes he’s miles ahead of his striking partner, Nicklas Bendtner. (His rather embarrassing little victory dance.)
He sees Theo sometimes about to head home, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt or fiddling with his sleeves or adjusting the way his beanie sits over the edge of his eyebrows as if he will be judged if it’s an inch away from perfect.
When Jack arrives on the first team he glimpses something of what Theo must have felt; Jack is the new kid, and he resists the urge to straighten his kit the same way Theo had done.
*
He remembers when they first met. He's walking into the locker room behind Arsene, about to introduce him to the rest of the players; Theo was sitting on the bench, fixing the laces on his shoes.
Cesc Fabregas is the first to come and say hi, shaking his hand and clapping him against the shoulder (“Congratulations on making the team, if you need anything, ask me, we midfielders stick together,”).
Theo watches them with mild curiosity, gives a small nod and a smile when they lock eyes.
*
Theo, of course, being the (now) second-youngest member of the squad, is given specific instructions by Arsene to make Jack feel at home.
Jack is relieved, of course. It helps to have a buddy who did not break into French or Spanish.
‘English in the locker room,’ Robin van Persie says, swatting Cesc on the back of the head, who glares at him. Robin winks in Theo and Jack’s direction as he walks past.
Theo chuckles, turns to Jack, says: ‘If you ever need to learn how to swear in 5 different languages, you’ve come to the right place.’
Jack thinks he’ll settle in quite well.
*
Theo walks into the change room and stops in his tracks.
The shirt with his name on it bears the crisp, white number 14.
He blinks, opens his eyes again, and it beams back at him.
Sure, Arsene had mentioned that he had inherited Titi’s number, but it didn’t really hit him until he saw it hanging there.
Theo touches the shirt gingerly and with reverie, puts it on slowly, tucks the hem into his shorts, pulls it back out a little to cover the waistband. Distantly he hears claps and wolf-whistles but Theo is trying hard to remove the stunned look from his face.
“Nice shirt,” Jack comes up from behind him, fully changed, making Theo jump.
“Yeah,” Theo’s voice sounded unfamiliar.
“Don’t cry, mate,” Jack’s half-joking.
“Yeah,” Theo shakes his head quickly. “I’ll be alright.”
“Hey,” Jack says seriously, squeezing Theo’s shoulder, “Even Thierry Henry couldn’t run as fast as you. Remember that.” Jack smiles at him and heads for the exit.
Theo thinks, but I can’t play football like Thierry.
*
Theo thinks Jack is fearless. Jack stays up late and plays Playstation until 2 or 3 in the morning. He drinks. He goes to nightclubs with his mates. Theo hits the bed at 11pm, latest. What’s better than a good night’s sleep?
And yet Jack takes 10 days to score his first senior Arsenal goal. Theo - Theo waited until February for his (in a game that was best left forgotten, no less) - and he’s the striker, not Jack.
Jack rings Theo straight after the game. “Did you see it?” he says, breathlessly; Theo can imagine Jack’s beaming smile on the other side.
“Nope, I was having dinner.”
He can picture Jack’s pout, now.
“You should come out, Nicky’s having drinks at his place.”
“Nah, I’m alright here at home watching Lost.”
Jack snorts. “Goodnight then, old man.” He hangs up.
Theo blinks at the phone for a moment, checks the clock, does a bit of mental arithmetic before ringing Thierry. He suddenly wants someone to talk to.
*
“I’m bored,” Jack says from the foot of his bed, flicking the channels (click, The Late News; click, some 1970s comedy he doesn’t understand; click, a rerun of an episode of CSI; click-)
“- Stop that, it’s annoying,” Theo replies, not looking up from the comic book he’s reading. They’re unwinding before bed in a hotel with a match the next day.
“But I’m boreeeeeed.” Jack says again, switching off the television and hopping onto Theo’s bed. Theo looks up warily.
“Didn’t you bring Eastenders with you?”
“Forgot. I left it at home.”
“Well, that’s silly of you.”
“Theo. If I die of boredom you’ll have to explain it to Arsene.”
“…What do you want me to do about it?”
“I don’t know,” Jack replies, pausing to think. “Something.”
“That’s helpful,” Theo points out.
“Well obviously if I could think of something, I’d be doing it.”
“You should bring a book to read next time.”
“Har, har,” Jack says dispassionately, “Like I read.”
“It’d exercise your brain, Lord knows when it was last used.”
Theo smiles cheekily, and gets walloped by a pillow to his face in reply, comic book slipping from his hands.
Jack grins at Theo, triumphant. It’s innocent and wicked all in one.
Theo grabs a pillow of his own and throws it in Jack’s direction. It misses. Jack’s laughter mocks Theo as Jack hops off the bed and takes shelter behind a chair.
“Why, you -“
*
Theo, Jack realizes, can try to be as mature as he wants; but in the end Theo is a typical teenager. Or, more specifically, like a teenager who thinks he’s too cool to hang with his younger brother.
If Theo was his older brother. Which, Jack thinks, is increasingly what Theo’s becoming.
“Why,” Jack asks pointedly, screwing up his nose, “Do you have the adult version of Harry Potter?”
Theo looks at him like he’s a bit crazy.
“Because it’s Harry Potter.”
“What’s wrong with the normal cover? The normal cover is the BEST.”
“No it isn’t. I like this one.”
“But it’s lame and boring.”
“No it isn’t.”
“Yes it is.”
“No, it isn’t.”
“Yes, it is.” Jack is trying hard not to laugh.
Theo shakes his head and rolls his eyes and gets back to reading his book. Jack turns the volume up on his FIFA game so much that Aaron Ramsey and Kieran Gibbs from the room next door drop by to play.
“Kids.” Theo grumbles.
“You’re the one reading Harry Potter!” Jack gleefully replies, over the blare of the television screen.
*
The newspapers are all over it. Debates about playing for Pearce and Capello and Pearce and Capello and Pearce and-
“Oh, my god,” Jack says, over the phone. Theo can hear him flopping onto his bed. “Why can’t they just decide, already?”
“It takes some time,” Theo replies.
(He’s quite proud, actually, of the way he looks after Jack. Sure, Le Boss is probably 99% involved in developing Jack, but Theo would like to claim just a tiny bit.)
“I mean, not just me, mate, you too,” Jack adds quickly, “Put us out of our misery, already. The suspense is going to kill me!”
Theo laughs, “Have you been watching those American-“
“I can’t help it,” Jack whines, “Cesc wants me to watch the entirety of Desperate Housewives, and I need to watch Eastenders, and-“
“I don’t know why Capello bothers with you, mate, nobody on the senior squad would ever admit to watching Eastenders.”
Jack pouts over the phone. “Shut up, I’m fabulous.”
Theo suddenly pictures Jack fluttering his eyelashes in a red dress and heels and doesn’t stop laughing for a long time afterward.
*
Jack walked in on Cesc and Robin once.
It was - He just went back to the locker rooms to pick up something; and he hears a noise, and - well okay they weren’t doing anything, really - Robin was just sitting on the bench checking his phone and Cesc was leaning over him, elbow on Robin’s shoulder, fingers picking at the strands of a hole at the knee of Robin’s jeans.
They look up and pull apart, of course, help Jack find the keys he left behind as if nothing weird happened. Jack thinks he might have just imagined it, but the feeling that he walked in on something - what’s the word, intimate - lingers.
Jack brings it up with Theo once, who looks at him quizzically and shrugs. “It’s a pretty tight family around here.”
When Jack gives him a look that says Do-you-think-I'm-stupid, Theo shrugs. “Well, yeah. They’re close.”
Jack is silent.
“I mean, everyone knows, but we don’t generally talk about it.”
Theo winks at Jack, then, gives him a nudge; which only leaves Jack even more confused than before.
*
Older brothers don’t do what he just did, Jack thinks. That would be weird.
*
Jack notices the way Melanie is never home, and the way Theo’s apartment barely has signs that she exists - a coat hanging in the doorway, a photo on his desk, an extra cup in the bathroom; the way Nicky swings his arm possessively over Theo; the way Theo likes jumping on everyone.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Theo asks, eating lunch together before the afternoon training session began.
“You look like a Koala, sometimes,” Jack says absentmindedly.
Theo blinks. “…Come again?”
“Like, you know, the way you cling on to people, like” - Jack wraps arms around Theo’s shoulders, who responds with much struggle
(“Hey!”). “Like a koala.”
Theo shrugs, then grins. “Have you tried it? It’s ridiculously fun, hanging off someone. Especially Nicky, since he’s so tall. It’s like climbing a moving tree. Besides, he doesn’t mind.”
“Yep. You’re a Koala.”
Theo throws a piece of bread at Jack.
*
Jack’s first few weeks at Bolton are hard.
It’s not that the people are any less friendly; nor less helpful. They treat him quite well, actually. The food isn’t so bad, either; the showers…have slightly temperamental water temperatures, but all in all it wasn’t too bad.
It was like - it was like when Jack was back in the youth or the reserve teams. It wasn’t state-of-the-art but it was fine. He could live with it.
So he gets shoved a bit more in training. Arsene did say that Bolton should toughen him up a bit. Not that Jack was soft - he’s not. And he’ll prove it, to Bolton and to Arsene and to himself.
Jack figures he just misses the people he used to see - Cesc always giving him advice (even when sometimes he doesn't really need it); Nicky’s bad excuses that he calls fashion; Tomas and his not-very-good band; Eboue being a bouncy morning person even without coffee, and Theo.
And Theo.
*
It’s a bit weird, Theo thinks, to be rooming with Nicky. Not that it’s weird enough to be uncomfortable, because Nicky is a great guy and he makes Theo laugh.
But he’s used to rooming with Jack and well, Nicky’s always on the phone with Caroline and if Nicky’s not doing that then he’s over in Aaron’s room, which happens to be quite often.
Theo won’t even begin mention the amount of time Nick spends in the bathroom.
The room is too quiet. He hates that Jack’s not there sitting on the foot of his bed watching Eastenders.
Cesc and Tomas don’t ask questions when Theo crashes their room whilst Cesc watches Desperate Housewives for the 136489392727583th time.
*
“So, I have a confession,” Theo says, talking on the phone to Jack. They’ve been doing this once a week for the past month or so. (Mel thinks it’s quite girly of them, but Theo just looks at the amount of unused credit that’s on his phone every month and thinks he might as well make the most of it.)
“Oh, what, what?” Jack replies. He’s watching Eastenders on TV whilst eating dinner at home.
“I bought Eastenders on DVD.”
“You did not.”
“Yeah, I kind of did.”
“Why??? You always complained when I watched it.”
“Apparently I got used to it. I’m sick of watching Desperate Housewives. And Cesc is contemplating watching the Vampire Diaries, and I’d rather die alone than start watching that show.”
Jack laughs, shaking his head. “Vampire Diaries is not that bad.”
“…you can’t be serious.”
“Yeah, I’m not.”
Theo can picture Jack with his maniac grin on the other end of the line.
“If you were here I’d throw a pillow at you right now.”
“Good thing I’m not, then.”
“Yeah.”
“Yeah.”
Silence. And then -
“So can I borrow your copies of Eastenders if I forget to bring them to away games?”
Theo rolls his eyes. “I think that was originally the plan.”
He could hear Jack smiling through the phone again, and wishes he were there.
*
Jack knocks on Theo’s door the first day he gets back to London. Theo is surprised to see him on his doorstep at nine in the evening.
“Jack? What-“
“Is anyone home?” Jack says, somewhat urgently, letting himself into Theo’s apartment.
“Er. Just me. Mel’s overseas-“
“Yeah. Cool. Great.” Jack says quickly, taking off his coat.
Theo is a little concerned.
“Jack, is everything alright? You’re kind of freaking me out.”
“I just got back.” Jack says, rather slowly, raking a hand through his hair.
“Uh-huh.”
“And, well,” Jack shrugs a bit helplessly, before wrapping his arms around Theo, “I missed you.”
Theo doesn’t really know what to do, but give him an awkward hug back. “Yeah, me too.”
Jack shakes his head then, pulls apart a bit. “No. You don’t get it.”
Suddenly everything clicks.
“Oh,” Theo says, quickly, with widened eyes, “Jack, I -“
“No, Theo,” Jack interrupts, quite calmly, “Shut up and don’t think.” He kisses him.
*
Except of course Theo thinks, Theo thinks a lot, even with Jack’s lips hot on his own, hands cupping his face, Theo thinks: shit-shit-Mel-is-going-to-kill-me; Theo thinks: I-haven’t-done-this-since-Gareth-when-we-were-both-drunk; Theo thinks: is-Jack-drunk?!; Theo thinks: God-that-feels-really-good; Theo thinks: what-the-fuck-have-they-been-teaching-him-at-Bolton?!
Theo needs to breathe and wants Jack to not stop kissing him; needs to push Jack away and wants Jack to not stop tugging at his shirt. Everything feels like it's on fire.
Jack releases an incoherent noise not unlike a purr from deep in his throat and Theo suddenly realizes he’s backed Jack up against a wall and something’s pressing against his pants.
“God, stop thinking,” Jack breathes, kisses Theo on the neck; Theo moans and his knees buckle slightly, hands firmly on Jack’s hips for support. Jack’s eyes sparkle wickedly as he kisses the spot again; Theo’s eyes shut (Oh, fuck it, he thinks, it’s been too long.)
“Bedroom?” Theo asks, surprised at the huskiness in his voice, his own hands wandering to the buttons on Jack’s shirt.
Jack just grins in reply.
*
“Are we alright?” Theo asks Jack, lying in the darkness, after.
“I’m alright. Are you alright?”
“I think so. Where do we go from here?”
“Wherever, whenever, Shakira, Shakira.” Jack yawns, half incoherent.
“…Come again?”
But Jack has already fallen asleep, leaving Theo to ponder what on earth he meant.
*
Jack hangs with Theo when others are down in South Africa.
They play FIFA just before the games to predict the scoreline (this usually doesn’t work because Jack is much better than Theo at FIFA, albeit improvement from Theo towards the end of the tournament); they fall asleep in Theo’s bed and they wake up in the late afternoon and start the routine all over again.
They watch the final together at Jack’s house where Jack’s mum makes them cookies iced in red, yellow and orange. Jack cheers for Spain and Cesc Fabregas and Theo cheers for the Netherlands and Robin van Persie (because midfielders and strikers need to stick together).
Theo is quiet after the game is over, looking slightly forlorn. Jack throws Theo the hoodie he left on the sofa.
“Hey. Let’s go to the park.”
Theo looks at him, “What? Now? It’s dark.”
“And the park has lights. Comeon, at the end of the day we’re just kids playing football in the park. You can be Netherlands and I can be Spain.”
“But Spain won.”
“Pretend they didn’t! It’ll cheer you up.”
Theo doesn’t really see how, but he follows Jack out the door.
*
They play and it’s mostly dark except for a few overhead lights illuminating the ground in patches of light and dark; they join a bunch of boys slightly younger than themselves and play five-a-side. Theo introduces them as Fred and George, to which one of the boys says, “What, like the Weasley twins?” and Jack says “…Yeah, we’re not related,” and Theo adds, “No, definitely not related” raising his eyebrow at Jack, grinning.
Somehow five-a-side turns into a distorted version of Quidditch including sticks and silver coins (which completely everybody understands but Jack Wilshere); Theo’s side wins 11-10.
“Time to read Harry Potter, mate,” Theo quips, and he’s smiling from ear to ear.
“But I have and I don’t get what just happened.” Jack sniffs.
Theo laughs and wraps an arm around Jack's neck, plants a kiss on his forehead (it's dark; no one will see and no one will care.) Jack slings an arm around Theo's waist.
It’s good to feel young (and a tiny bit reckless), Theo thinks. The grass smells lovely at this time of night.
*
“Theo looks better,” Cesc says to Robin one day, watching the other half of the team train as they take turns with the goalkeepers.
Robin looks up to watch Theo dodge past Bacary and Sebastien and directs the ball past Lukas Fabianski.
“Maybe he’s motivated after missing South Africa, you know,” Robin says helpfully.
Cesc shakes his head. “No, it’s not that.” Cesc shrugs. “It’s like he’s more carefree and happy.”
Theo bursts into laughter at something Jack whispered into his ear.
Cesc and Robin exchange a look.
“Cesc, please don’t tell me you’re thinking what I’m thinking-“
“What?”
Cesc has a devilish gleam in his eyes.
“Comeon, that's not proof! They're just friends!”
(Theo proceeds to remove a bit of grass from Jack's hair.)
“You owe me 50 quid, Robin.”
“That's not enough proof!” Robin shakes his head and walks off.
*
Jack's playing FIFA on the couch. Theo, next to him, is browsing handbags online.
“You know when I first met you I could have sworn you were straight.”
Theo rolls his eyes, elbows Jack (“Hey! I'm winning the game here!”).
“I need a present for my mum, you moron.”
Jack shakes his head at him. “That's a shame, I mean just look at that one! You'd look nice wearing that around.”
Theo can't help but laugh. “Maybe I should get it and if my mum doesn't like it she can just give it back to me.” He makes a face.
“Don't do that, she's your mother. Get her something she wants.”
“Well I don't know! They all look the same.”
Jack sighs, puts down the console and shuffles over, grabbing the laptop and starting to scroll. Their knees are touching and Theo is suddenly rather aware that Jack's leaning over him and if the laptop wasn't on his lap then Jack's hands would be....rather close.
The light outlines the contours of Jack's face, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. “Does she like Prada, Mulberry or Miu Miu?” He turns his head towards Theo then, who is looking at Jack like he's never seen him before.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“Well?”
Theo simply shrugs. “Whichever.”
Jack glares at him briefly before turning back to the screen. “Let's get her the Mulberry. Black's nice.”
“Fine.” Theo is still watching Jack, smiling now. His fingers pick on a broken seam on Jack's sweater.
“What?” Jack repeats, slightly bemused.
Theo shakes his head, grinning. He licks his lips, hand snaking up around Jack's neck. “Your turn to stop thinking.” He kisses Jack.
(It's probably the first time Theo's made the first move. Jack smiles inwardly and kisses back. The laptop is hastily moved to the floor to make more room on the couch.)
(Jack thinks: Yeah, definitely not straight.)
*
When Mel comes home, Jack thinks the world might fall apart.
Jack avoids Theo for a while and hangs out with some of his old friends; he goes clubbing and finds he doesn't enjoy it as much anymore; his friend gets into trouble and they're all arrested. Well, fuck. He's not doing that again.
Theo rings him and asks if he's alright when he's back home.
“Fine,” Jack says, rather tightly.
“Would you like me to come over?”
“Nah, I'll see you tomorrow.”
Jack hangs up.
*
Theo walks up to Jack before training.
“So...Mel knows.”
Jack looks at him, surprised. “She does?”
Theo nods, slowly. “...She kind of knows. I think I went a bit nuts over the weekend when - you know.”
Jack says nothing. Theo tries again.
“She knows you mean a lot to me. I miss you,” Theo's hand squeezing Jack's shoulder.
Arsene calls Theo and Theo walks away, leaving Jack alone.
*
“You look glum, young one,” Cesc says, plopping himself down on the bench next to Jack during training.
Jack shrugs. “I'm fine.”
“Talk to me.”
“There's nothing to talk about.”
“As your captain and your friend, I demand that you make me your personal counsellor.”
Jack sighs. “Don't we have professionals to do that?”
Cesc scoffed. “I'm better.”
“You have a big head.”
“Yeah I do. But then so does Yoda. Now do you want to spill or do you need me to send Eboue to stalk you?”
“How is that going to cheer me up?”
“Because he is the Master Joker and this young Padawan needs cheering up.”
“No thanks.”
Cesc sighs. “Look. Theo misses you. Judging by the look on your face you obviously miss him. Did you two have a fight? Just make up,
already.”
“I can't, Mel-”
“Like she could stop you! Didn't Theo say that Mel was alright?”
“I guess.”
“Just hang out with Theo. Mel won't mind. She won't mind as long as you don't make out in front of her. Don't give me that look Jack, we all know.”
“What? You know?”
“Do I look stupid to you? Come on, Jack.”
Jack groans and places his head in his hands.
“Maybe you should get your own place, then Theo can come over whenever he wants.” Cesc pats him on the back sympathetically, before he heads back out onto the training field.
Well. Why didn't he think of that before?
*
“So what do you think of Mel?” Theo says, after the three of them went out for lunch. Mel has gone to do some shopping.
“She's not bad,” Jack says, cautiously. Theo raises his eyebrows and gives him a look.
Jack sighs. “Okay she's pretty cool, actually. Nice, funny, friendly, good to look at. I'd go out with her if she-”
“You can stop there now, Jack.” Theo says, smiling.
“Best of all she doesn't mind sharing,” Jack jibes. Theo sniffs.
“I am not an object to be passed around!”
Jack laughs.
*
It's not too long before Jack moves into his own little place and Theo comes over.
The nights when Jack tries to cook for Theo get particularly messy.
(Meanwhile, Robin concedes defeat and hands Cesc a fifty pound note.)
*
It's England against Denmark and Theo pulls on his crisp white shirt, his name blazened on the back in blue.
Jack's first senior start is today. He's a bundle of nerves and excitement (“I might throw up,” he says), but Theo knows he can handle it.
It’s bright when they walk out onto the field. The camera flashes are never ending. Theo knows not to think too much. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath; the grass smells wonderful at this time of night.
Cheers rise across the stadium when their names are called. Theo sees Jack's radiant, confident face on the screens above. Theo straightens his back when his own name is called. He smiles.
This is the New Generation now, and Theo thinks they are ready for it.
The limelight is bright, and there are no shadows. Not tonight.
-FIN-
Pairing: Theo Walcott/Jack Wilshere
Rating: M
Word Count: 4300 words
A/N: For Rachie (darkblue ) for our shared love of this too-cute pairing and her unending support for my efforts on this fic. I hope it lives up to expectations.
*
Theo Walcott was thrown onto the international stage at the young age of 17. When Theo told his father the news over the phone his voice sounded hollow, full of shock; he was certainly not expecting it. Hell, he was shopping with his girlfriend when he found out.
The limelight was bright. Startlingly so. Theo Walcott and Wayne Rooney were the New Generation. And whilst Sven temporarily forgot Theo’s age, the press didn’t. Rooney ended up struggling for form and Theo was a groupie touring with a rock band. (You were special enough to tag along but not that special; they were the superstars, not you.)
Yet when the England team fell apart you somehow played a role, having not played at all.
*
They were more careful with Jack.
Although there was talk of it Jack never went to a World Cup at the age of 17. Jack played in tournaments befitting his age. The limelight was bright still; not so startling. Less pressure.
Theo was dropped from the next World Cup; a combination of injuries in the 4-year interim and the chances he didn’t take. The media wondered if Theo would have been better off if he never went to Germany. Theo wondered too.
Theo wondered sometimes if he was destined to be the guinea pig and Jack the finished product, basking in the light whilst Theo hovered in his shadow.
*
Well, he’s seen Theo before, watching from the sidelines, from across the training ground, whilst he was in the Reserves and Theo practicing with the first team. He’s seen Theo running faster than everyone else, tearing down the pitch; he’s seen Theo mucking around with his other teammates, the sheepish smile of victory when he realizes he’s miles ahead of his striking partner, Nicklas Bendtner. (His rather embarrassing little victory dance.)
He sees Theo sometimes about to head home, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt or fiddling with his sleeves or adjusting the way his beanie sits over the edge of his eyebrows as if he will be judged if it’s an inch away from perfect.
When Jack arrives on the first team he glimpses something of what Theo must have felt; Jack is the new kid, and he resists the urge to straighten his kit the same way Theo had done.
*
He remembers when they first met. He's walking into the locker room behind Arsene, about to introduce him to the rest of the players; Theo was sitting on the bench, fixing the laces on his shoes.
Cesc Fabregas is the first to come and say hi, shaking his hand and clapping him against the shoulder (“Congratulations on making the team, if you need anything, ask me, we midfielders stick together,”).
Theo watches them with mild curiosity, gives a small nod and a smile when they lock eyes.
*
Theo, of course, being the (now) second-youngest member of the squad, is given specific instructions by Arsene to make Jack feel at home.
Jack is relieved, of course. It helps to have a buddy who did not break into French or Spanish.
‘English in the locker room,’ Robin van Persie says, swatting Cesc on the back of the head, who glares at him. Robin winks in Theo and Jack’s direction as he walks past.
Theo chuckles, turns to Jack, says: ‘If you ever need to learn how to swear in 5 different languages, you’ve come to the right place.’
Jack thinks he’ll settle in quite well.
*
Theo walks into the change room and stops in his tracks.
The shirt with his name on it bears the crisp, white number 14.
He blinks, opens his eyes again, and it beams back at him.
Sure, Arsene had mentioned that he had inherited Titi’s number, but it didn’t really hit him until he saw it hanging there.
Theo touches the shirt gingerly and with reverie, puts it on slowly, tucks the hem into his shorts, pulls it back out a little to cover the waistband. Distantly he hears claps and wolf-whistles but Theo is trying hard to remove the stunned look from his face.
“Nice shirt,” Jack comes up from behind him, fully changed, making Theo jump.
“Yeah,” Theo’s voice sounded unfamiliar.
“Don’t cry, mate,” Jack’s half-joking.
“Yeah,” Theo shakes his head quickly. “I’ll be alright.”
“Hey,” Jack says seriously, squeezing Theo’s shoulder, “Even Thierry Henry couldn’t run as fast as you. Remember that.” Jack smiles at him and heads for the exit.
Theo thinks, but I can’t play football like Thierry.
*
Theo thinks Jack is fearless. Jack stays up late and plays Playstation until 2 or 3 in the morning. He drinks. He goes to nightclubs with his mates. Theo hits the bed at 11pm, latest. What’s better than a good night’s sleep?
And yet Jack takes 10 days to score his first senior Arsenal goal. Theo - Theo waited until February for his (in a game that was best left forgotten, no less) - and he’s the striker, not Jack.
Jack rings Theo straight after the game. “Did you see it?” he says, breathlessly; Theo can imagine Jack’s beaming smile on the other side.
“Nope, I was having dinner.”
He can picture Jack’s pout, now.
“You should come out, Nicky’s having drinks at his place.”
“Nah, I’m alright here at home watching Lost.”
Jack snorts. “Goodnight then, old man.” He hangs up.
Theo blinks at the phone for a moment, checks the clock, does a bit of mental arithmetic before ringing Thierry. He suddenly wants someone to talk to.
*
“I’m bored,” Jack says from the foot of his bed, flicking the channels (click, The Late News; click, some 1970s comedy he doesn’t understand; click, a rerun of an episode of CSI; click-)
“- Stop that, it’s annoying,” Theo replies, not looking up from the comic book he’s reading. They’re unwinding before bed in a hotel with a match the next day.
“But I’m boreeeeeed.” Jack says again, switching off the television and hopping onto Theo’s bed. Theo looks up warily.
“Didn’t you bring Eastenders with you?”
“Forgot. I left it at home.”
“Well, that’s silly of you.”
“Theo. If I die of boredom you’ll have to explain it to Arsene.”
“…What do you want me to do about it?”
“I don’t know,” Jack replies, pausing to think. “Something.”
“That’s helpful,” Theo points out.
“Well obviously if I could think of something, I’d be doing it.”
“You should bring a book to read next time.”
“Har, har,” Jack says dispassionately, “Like I read.”
“It’d exercise your brain, Lord knows when it was last used.”
Theo smiles cheekily, and gets walloped by a pillow to his face in reply, comic book slipping from his hands.
Jack grins at Theo, triumphant. It’s innocent and wicked all in one.
Theo grabs a pillow of his own and throws it in Jack’s direction. It misses. Jack’s laughter mocks Theo as Jack hops off the bed and takes shelter behind a chair.
“Why, you -“
*
Theo, Jack realizes, can try to be as mature as he wants; but in the end Theo is a typical teenager. Or, more specifically, like a teenager who thinks he’s too cool to hang with his younger brother.
If Theo was his older brother. Which, Jack thinks, is increasingly what Theo’s becoming.
“Why,” Jack asks pointedly, screwing up his nose, “Do you have the adult version of Harry Potter?”
Theo looks at him like he’s a bit crazy.
“Because it’s Harry Potter.”
“What’s wrong with the normal cover? The normal cover is the BEST.”
“No it isn’t. I like this one.”
“But it’s lame and boring.”
“No it isn’t.”
“Yes it is.”
“No, it isn’t.”
“Yes, it is.” Jack is trying hard not to laugh.
Theo shakes his head and rolls his eyes and gets back to reading his book. Jack turns the volume up on his FIFA game so much that Aaron Ramsey and Kieran Gibbs from the room next door drop by to play.
“Kids.” Theo grumbles.
“You’re the one reading Harry Potter!” Jack gleefully replies, over the blare of the television screen.
*
The newspapers are all over it. Debates about playing for Pearce and Capello and Pearce and Capello and Pearce and-
“Oh, my god,” Jack says, over the phone. Theo can hear him flopping onto his bed. “Why can’t they just decide, already?”
“It takes some time,” Theo replies.
(He’s quite proud, actually, of the way he looks after Jack. Sure, Le Boss is probably 99% involved in developing Jack, but Theo would like to claim just a tiny bit.)
“I mean, not just me, mate, you too,” Jack adds quickly, “Put us out of our misery, already. The suspense is going to kill me!”
Theo laughs, “Have you been watching those American-“
“I can’t help it,” Jack whines, “Cesc wants me to watch the entirety of Desperate Housewives, and I need to watch Eastenders, and-“
“I don’t know why Capello bothers with you, mate, nobody on the senior squad would ever admit to watching Eastenders.”
Jack pouts over the phone. “Shut up, I’m fabulous.”
Theo suddenly pictures Jack fluttering his eyelashes in a red dress and heels and doesn’t stop laughing for a long time afterward.
*
Jack walked in on Cesc and Robin once.
It was - He just went back to the locker rooms to pick up something; and he hears a noise, and - well okay they weren’t doing anything, really - Robin was just sitting on the bench checking his phone and Cesc was leaning over him, elbow on Robin’s shoulder, fingers picking at the strands of a hole at the knee of Robin’s jeans.
They look up and pull apart, of course, help Jack find the keys he left behind as if nothing weird happened. Jack thinks he might have just imagined it, but the feeling that he walked in on something - what’s the word, intimate - lingers.
Jack brings it up with Theo once, who looks at him quizzically and shrugs. “It’s a pretty tight family around here.”
When Jack gives him a look that says Do-you-think-I'm-stupid, Theo shrugs. “Well, yeah. They’re close.”
Jack is silent.
“I mean, everyone knows, but we don’t generally talk about it.”
Theo winks at Jack, then, gives him a nudge; which only leaves Jack even more confused than before.
*
Older brothers don’t do what he just did, Jack thinks. That would be weird.
*
Jack notices the way Melanie is never home, and the way Theo’s apartment barely has signs that she exists - a coat hanging in the doorway, a photo on his desk, an extra cup in the bathroom; the way Nicky swings his arm possessively over Theo; the way Theo likes jumping on everyone.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Theo asks, eating lunch together before the afternoon training session began.
“You look like a Koala, sometimes,” Jack says absentmindedly.
Theo blinks. “…Come again?”
“Like, you know, the way you cling on to people, like” - Jack wraps arms around Theo’s shoulders, who responds with much struggle
(“Hey!”). “Like a koala.”
Theo shrugs, then grins. “Have you tried it? It’s ridiculously fun, hanging off someone. Especially Nicky, since he’s so tall. It’s like climbing a moving tree. Besides, he doesn’t mind.”
“Yep. You’re a Koala.”
Theo throws a piece of bread at Jack.
*
Jack’s first few weeks at Bolton are hard.
It’s not that the people are any less friendly; nor less helpful. They treat him quite well, actually. The food isn’t so bad, either; the showers…have slightly temperamental water temperatures, but all in all it wasn’t too bad.
It was like - it was like when Jack was back in the youth or the reserve teams. It wasn’t state-of-the-art but it was fine. He could live with it.
So he gets shoved a bit more in training. Arsene did say that Bolton should toughen him up a bit. Not that Jack was soft - he’s not. And he’ll prove it, to Bolton and to Arsene and to himself.
Jack figures he just misses the people he used to see - Cesc always giving him advice (even when sometimes he doesn't really need it); Nicky’s bad excuses that he calls fashion; Tomas and his not-very-good band; Eboue being a bouncy morning person even without coffee, and Theo.
And Theo.
*
It’s a bit weird, Theo thinks, to be rooming with Nicky. Not that it’s weird enough to be uncomfortable, because Nicky is a great guy and he makes Theo laugh.
But he’s used to rooming with Jack and well, Nicky’s always on the phone with Caroline and if Nicky’s not doing that then he’s over in Aaron’s room, which happens to be quite often.
Theo won’t even begin mention the amount of time Nick spends in the bathroom.
The room is too quiet. He hates that Jack’s not there sitting on the foot of his bed watching Eastenders.
Cesc and Tomas don’t ask questions when Theo crashes their room whilst Cesc watches Desperate Housewives for the 136489392727583th time.
*
“So, I have a confession,” Theo says, talking on the phone to Jack. They’ve been doing this once a week for the past month or so. (Mel thinks it’s quite girly of them, but Theo just looks at the amount of unused credit that’s on his phone every month and thinks he might as well make the most of it.)
“Oh, what, what?” Jack replies. He’s watching Eastenders on TV whilst eating dinner at home.
“I bought Eastenders on DVD.”
“You did not.”
“Yeah, I kind of did.”
“Why??? You always complained when I watched it.”
“Apparently I got used to it. I’m sick of watching Desperate Housewives. And Cesc is contemplating watching the Vampire Diaries, and I’d rather die alone than start watching that show.”
Jack laughs, shaking his head. “Vampire Diaries is not that bad.”
“…you can’t be serious.”
“Yeah, I’m not.”
Theo can picture Jack with his maniac grin on the other end of the line.
“If you were here I’d throw a pillow at you right now.”
“Good thing I’m not, then.”
“Yeah.”
“Yeah.”
Silence. And then -
“So can I borrow your copies of Eastenders if I forget to bring them to away games?”
Theo rolls his eyes. “I think that was originally the plan.”
He could hear Jack smiling through the phone again, and wishes he were there.
*
Jack knocks on Theo’s door the first day he gets back to London. Theo is surprised to see him on his doorstep at nine in the evening.
“Jack? What-“
“Is anyone home?” Jack says, somewhat urgently, letting himself into Theo’s apartment.
“Er. Just me. Mel’s overseas-“
“Yeah. Cool. Great.” Jack says quickly, taking off his coat.
Theo is a little concerned.
“Jack, is everything alright? You’re kind of freaking me out.”
“I just got back.” Jack says, rather slowly, raking a hand through his hair.
“Uh-huh.”
“And, well,” Jack shrugs a bit helplessly, before wrapping his arms around Theo, “I missed you.”
Theo doesn’t really know what to do, but give him an awkward hug back. “Yeah, me too.”
Jack shakes his head then, pulls apart a bit. “No. You don’t get it.”
Suddenly everything clicks.
“Oh,” Theo says, quickly, with widened eyes, “Jack, I -“
“No, Theo,” Jack interrupts, quite calmly, “Shut up and don’t think.” He kisses him.
*
Except of course Theo thinks, Theo thinks a lot, even with Jack’s lips hot on his own, hands cupping his face, Theo thinks: shit-shit-Mel-is-going-to-kill-me; Theo thinks: I-haven’t-done-this-since-Gareth-when-we-were-both-drunk; Theo thinks: is-Jack-drunk?!; Theo thinks: God-that-feels-really-good; Theo thinks: what-the-fuck-have-they-been-teaching-him-at-Bolton?!
Theo needs to breathe and wants Jack to not stop kissing him; needs to push Jack away and wants Jack to not stop tugging at his shirt. Everything feels like it's on fire.
Jack releases an incoherent noise not unlike a purr from deep in his throat and Theo suddenly realizes he’s backed Jack up against a wall and something’s pressing against his pants.
“God, stop thinking,” Jack breathes, kisses Theo on the neck; Theo moans and his knees buckle slightly, hands firmly on Jack’s hips for support. Jack’s eyes sparkle wickedly as he kisses the spot again; Theo’s eyes shut (Oh, fuck it, he thinks, it’s been too long.)
“Bedroom?” Theo asks, surprised at the huskiness in his voice, his own hands wandering to the buttons on Jack’s shirt.
Jack just grins in reply.
*
“Are we alright?” Theo asks Jack, lying in the darkness, after.
“I’m alright. Are you alright?”
“I think so. Where do we go from here?”
“Wherever, whenever, Shakira, Shakira.” Jack yawns, half incoherent.
“…Come again?”
But Jack has already fallen asleep, leaving Theo to ponder what on earth he meant.
*
Jack hangs with Theo when others are down in South Africa.
They play FIFA just before the games to predict the scoreline (this usually doesn’t work because Jack is much better than Theo at FIFA, albeit improvement from Theo towards the end of the tournament); they fall asleep in Theo’s bed and they wake up in the late afternoon and start the routine all over again.
They watch the final together at Jack’s house where Jack’s mum makes them cookies iced in red, yellow and orange. Jack cheers for Spain and Cesc Fabregas and Theo cheers for the Netherlands and Robin van Persie (because midfielders and strikers need to stick together).
Theo is quiet after the game is over, looking slightly forlorn. Jack throws Theo the hoodie he left on the sofa.
“Hey. Let’s go to the park.”
Theo looks at him, “What? Now? It’s dark.”
“And the park has lights. Comeon, at the end of the day we’re just kids playing football in the park. You can be Netherlands and I can be Spain.”
“But Spain won.”
“Pretend they didn’t! It’ll cheer you up.”
Theo doesn’t really see how, but he follows Jack out the door.
*
They play and it’s mostly dark except for a few overhead lights illuminating the ground in patches of light and dark; they join a bunch of boys slightly younger than themselves and play five-a-side. Theo introduces them as Fred and George, to which one of the boys says, “What, like the Weasley twins?” and Jack says “…Yeah, we’re not related,” and Theo adds, “No, definitely not related” raising his eyebrow at Jack, grinning.
Somehow five-a-side turns into a distorted version of Quidditch including sticks and silver coins (which completely everybody understands but Jack Wilshere); Theo’s side wins 11-10.
“Time to read Harry Potter, mate,” Theo quips, and he’s smiling from ear to ear.
“But I have and I don’t get what just happened.” Jack sniffs.
Theo laughs and wraps an arm around Jack's neck, plants a kiss on his forehead (it's dark; no one will see and no one will care.) Jack slings an arm around Theo's waist.
It’s good to feel young (and a tiny bit reckless), Theo thinks. The grass smells lovely at this time of night.
*
“Theo looks better,” Cesc says to Robin one day, watching the other half of the team train as they take turns with the goalkeepers.
Robin looks up to watch Theo dodge past Bacary and Sebastien and directs the ball past Lukas Fabianski.
“Maybe he’s motivated after missing South Africa, you know,” Robin says helpfully.
Cesc shakes his head. “No, it’s not that.” Cesc shrugs. “It’s like he’s more carefree and happy.”
Theo bursts into laughter at something Jack whispered into his ear.
Cesc and Robin exchange a look.
“Cesc, please don’t tell me you’re thinking what I’m thinking-“
“What?”
Cesc has a devilish gleam in his eyes.
“Comeon, that's not proof! They're just friends!”
(Theo proceeds to remove a bit of grass from Jack's hair.)
“You owe me 50 quid, Robin.”
“That's not enough proof!” Robin shakes his head and walks off.
*
Jack's playing FIFA on the couch. Theo, next to him, is browsing handbags online.
“You know when I first met you I could have sworn you were straight.”
Theo rolls his eyes, elbows Jack (“Hey! I'm winning the game here!”).
“I need a present for my mum, you moron.”
Jack shakes his head at him. “That's a shame, I mean just look at that one! You'd look nice wearing that around.”
Theo can't help but laugh. “Maybe I should get it and if my mum doesn't like it she can just give it back to me.” He makes a face.
“Don't do that, she's your mother. Get her something she wants.”
“Well I don't know! They all look the same.”
Jack sighs, puts down the console and shuffles over, grabbing the laptop and starting to scroll. Their knees are touching and Theo is suddenly rather aware that Jack's leaning over him and if the laptop wasn't on his lap then Jack's hands would be....rather close.
The light outlines the contours of Jack's face, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. “Does she like Prada, Mulberry or Miu Miu?” He turns his head towards Theo then, who is looking at Jack like he's never seen him before.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“Well?”
Theo simply shrugs. “Whichever.”
Jack glares at him briefly before turning back to the screen. “Let's get her the Mulberry. Black's nice.”
“Fine.” Theo is still watching Jack, smiling now. His fingers pick on a broken seam on Jack's sweater.
“What?” Jack repeats, slightly bemused.
Theo shakes his head, grinning. He licks his lips, hand snaking up around Jack's neck. “Your turn to stop thinking.” He kisses Jack.
(It's probably the first time Theo's made the first move. Jack smiles inwardly and kisses back. The laptop is hastily moved to the floor to make more room on the couch.)
(Jack thinks: Yeah, definitely not straight.)
*
When Mel comes home, Jack thinks the world might fall apart.
Jack avoids Theo for a while and hangs out with some of his old friends; he goes clubbing and finds he doesn't enjoy it as much anymore; his friend gets into trouble and they're all arrested. Well, fuck. He's not doing that again.
Theo rings him and asks if he's alright when he's back home.
“Fine,” Jack says, rather tightly.
“Would you like me to come over?”
“Nah, I'll see you tomorrow.”
Jack hangs up.
*
Theo walks up to Jack before training.
“So...Mel knows.”
Jack looks at him, surprised. “She does?”
Theo nods, slowly. “...She kind of knows. I think I went a bit nuts over the weekend when - you know.”
Jack says nothing. Theo tries again.
“She knows you mean a lot to me. I miss you,” Theo's hand squeezing Jack's shoulder.
Arsene calls Theo and Theo walks away, leaving Jack alone.
*
“You look glum, young one,” Cesc says, plopping himself down on the bench next to Jack during training.
Jack shrugs. “I'm fine.”
“Talk to me.”
“There's nothing to talk about.”
“As your captain and your friend, I demand that you make me your personal counsellor.”
Jack sighs. “Don't we have professionals to do that?”
Cesc scoffed. “I'm better.”
“You have a big head.”
“Yeah I do. But then so does Yoda. Now do you want to spill or do you need me to send Eboue to stalk you?”
“How is that going to cheer me up?”
“Because he is the Master Joker and this young Padawan needs cheering up.”
“No thanks.”
Cesc sighs. “Look. Theo misses you. Judging by the look on your face you obviously miss him. Did you two have a fight? Just make up,
already.”
“I can't, Mel-”
“Like she could stop you! Didn't Theo say that Mel was alright?”
“I guess.”
“Just hang out with Theo. Mel won't mind. She won't mind as long as you don't make out in front of her. Don't give me that look Jack, we all know.”
“What? You know?”
“Do I look stupid to you? Come on, Jack.”
Jack groans and places his head in his hands.
“Maybe you should get your own place, then Theo can come over whenever he wants.” Cesc pats him on the back sympathetically, before he heads back out onto the training field.
Well. Why didn't he think of that before?
*
“So what do you think of Mel?” Theo says, after the three of them went out for lunch. Mel has gone to do some shopping.
“She's not bad,” Jack says, cautiously. Theo raises his eyebrows and gives him a look.
Jack sighs. “Okay she's pretty cool, actually. Nice, funny, friendly, good to look at. I'd go out with her if she-”
“You can stop there now, Jack.” Theo says, smiling.
“Best of all she doesn't mind sharing,” Jack jibes. Theo sniffs.
“I am not an object to be passed around!”
Jack laughs.
*
It's not too long before Jack moves into his own little place and Theo comes over.
The nights when Jack tries to cook for Theo get particularly messy.
(Meanwhile, Robin concedes defeat and hands Cesc a fifty pound note.)
*
It's England against Denmark and Theo pulls on his crisp white shirt, his name blazened on the back in blue.
Jack's first senior start is today. He's a bundle of nerves and excitement (“I might throw up,” he says), but Theo knows he can handle it.
It’s bright when they walk out onto the field. The camera flashes are never ending. Theo knows not to think too much. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath; the grass smells wonderful at this time of night.
Cheers rise across the stadium when their names are called. Theo sees Jack's radiant, confident face on the screens above. Theo straightens his back when his own name is called. He smiles.
This is the New Generation now, and Theo thinks they are ready for it.
The limelight is bright, and there are no shadows. Not tonight.
-FIN-