"Everything's gonna be fine...right?"
I don't really even know what to say. Or how to say it. I just sometimes wish life wouldn't have to be so stressful. That people wouldn't have to become so dependent upon you, tear you down when you fall, while at the same time anyone you entrust something with also returns short. I'm tired of being upset to tears. I pretend that I don't care, but obviously a huge part of me does. The guilt burns within me at taking out time to do something for myself. Teachers scolding to be productive. And without production and proof of time and effort, you as a person are truly worthless. We laugh, but we only laugh to relieve the constant stress we experience from one second to the next. When was it last that you truly laughed for the sake of laughing? Even cried for the sake of crying? Loved for the sake of loving? Lived for the sake of mother fucking living? I believe it is possible to feel alone amongst a group of people. I am tired, yet constantly restless.
It is Valentine's Day tomorrow. I just want to stop the depression. Even when apathetic, I feel much more comfortable than I do right now. Why must I have fleeting moments of happiness that are suddenly ripped away from me far too soon? I miss my kittie. I miss my job. And most of all I miss what I cannot have.
It is Valentine's Day tomorrow. I just want to stop the depression. Even when apathetic, I feel much more comfortable than I do right now. Why must I have fleeting moments of happiness that are suddenly ripped away from me far too soon? I miss my kittie. I miss my job. And most of all I miss what I cannot have.