Don't worry, be happy?
I'm not in the best of moods right now, so I'll forewarn you that this entry will be Negative Nancy-esque.
Work was really the only factor that made my day remotely pleasant. It wasn't a particularly fun day of work, but it was better than being trapped here. It was a school picnic day and I was at the paratrooper. Surprise, surprise. I believe that God must truly hate me; or in a more practical sense my managers must. I am scheduled at the paratrooper for four consecutive days. I don't mind it that much. I just crave for some variety. Even though I have learned new rides I still can't manage to pry myself from the clutches of the paratrooper. Hopefully my schedule will get changed up a bit. I'm becoming more social at work. I'm thinking that the whole college experience made me a bit more outgoing. I'm still extremely shy, but I'm beginning to open up a bit. Last year I barely talked to anybody, but this year I have a group of people to talk to before clocking in rather than just sitting there, and it's nice.
I've been recovering from a slump I've been in earlier this month due to some bad decisions. I was starting to forget about it, but I've been having recurring flashback dreams lately. I'd be fine for the last part of the day, go to bed, and wake up reverting to the ashamed disgusted state of mind that I don't wish to be in. I shudder to think. It's not only the recent matters that bug me, but just everything that happened in the past year; the choices that I've made, and the outcomes that resulted. I have changed so much, and I fear that it's for the worse. My close friends tell me not to worry, but their comforting doesn't soothe me at all. I've been scaring myself lately. I don't handle devastation well at all. Most people get over it in days or weeks depending on the degree. I haven't felt truly happy for quite a while. For the past couple months, I've only felt content under the influence of alcohol. I thought I was feeling better while I was still at school, but now I realize that it was derived from alcohol. I'm in my home surroundings now and it has taken away the hazy thinking that the college environment has presented. No, I don't have a problem. I realize that alcohol is unhealthy for a person of my size and illegal with my current age. I'm positive that everything will get better eventually. I just have to keep it together, be more cautious, and be less trusting and naive. I don't even know where I'm going with this. I feel ungrateful. I'm young. I'm in college. I'm at the prime of my youth. I should stop worrying. I hopefully have great things going for me, while so many others are worse off and have more severe problems. I apologize for being so dramatic, I was just in the venting mood.
Work was really the only factor that made my day remotely pleasant. It wasn't a particularly fun day of work, but it was better than being trapped here. It was a school picnic day and I was at the paratrooper. Surprise, surprise. I believe that God must truly hate me; or in a more practical sense my managers must. I am scheduled at the paratrooper for four consecutive days. I don't mind it that much. I just crave for some variety. Even though I have learned new rides I still can't manage to pry myself from the clutches of the paratrooper. Hopefully my schedule will get changed up a bit. I'm becoming more social at work. I'm thinking that the whole college experience made me a bit more outgoing. I'm still extremely shy, but I'm beginning to open up a bit. Last year I barely talked to anybody, but this year I have a group of people to talk to before clocking in rather than just sitting there, and it's nice.
I've been recovering from a slump I've been in earlier this month due to some bad decisions. I was starting to forget about it, but I've been having recurring flashback dreams lately. I'd be fine for the last part of the day, go to bed, and wake up reverting to the ashamed disgusted state of mind that I don't wish to be in. I shudder to think. It's not only the recent matters that bug me, but just everything that happened in the past year; the choices that I've made, and the outcomes that resulted. I have changed so much, and I fear that it's for the worse. My close friends tell me not to worry, but their comforting doesn't soothe me at all. I've been scaring myself lately. I don't handle devastation well at all. Most people get over it in days or weeks depending on the degree. I haven't felt truly happy for quite a while. For the past couple months, I've only felt content under the influence of alcohol. I thought I was feeling better while I was still at school, but now I realize that it was derived from alcohol. I'm in my home surroundings now and it has taken away the hazy thinking that the college environment has presented. No, I don't have a problem. I realize that alcohol is unhealthy for a person of my size and illegal with my current age. I'm positive that everything will get better eventually. I just have to keep it together, be more cautious, and be less trusting and naive. I don't even know where I'm going with this. I feel ungrateful. I'm young. I'm in college. I'm at the prime of my youth. I should stop worrying. I hopefully have great things going for me, while so many others are worse off and have more severe problems. I apologize for being so dramatic, I was just in the venting mood.