01 - Video

[unduly_pitiless]

[The video feed cuts in on Alice sobbing softly. Her eyes are red, her cheeks are wet - she's been crying for a while. She opens her mouth and tries to speak, but the words stutter out before she can say anything coherent.]

I'm sorry - I'm sorry, I just -

[The video goes black. Alice reappears ten seconds later, marginally more composed but still

Comments

paddy. sucker for upset women.

[christ_onabike]

...you alright there? I can fill you in on some fucking basics in a sec, but first thing's first, calm down a little, take a deep breath, and don't fucking worry.

Voice

[unduly_pitiless]

[She sounds just a bit frantic here:]

Don't worry? How can I not - ? There's nothing outside, there's nothing, there's just this huge terrible void and I don't - I can't - please -

[She takes a deep, shuddery breath.]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Re: Voice

[christ_onabike]

...Yeah, that's kinda why I said don't. Despite there being nothing outside, there's nowt to fucking worry about. It's okay. We're all... living of sorts, we aren't going to implode or fall into nothingness or any of that shit.

Trust me that we're alright here, and then I'll explain a bit more exactly where we are.

Voice

[unduly_pitiless]

[Eventually she gets it together a bit. Her voice is still very quiet and very shaky, and her breath keeps seizing.]

I...I'm Alice.

Voice

[christ_onabike]

Hey there, Alice. I'm Paddy.

Right, so I'm going to figure you've got some idea about this already, from the guns thing, but you've died. It's a blunt way of putting it, I know, but there's no use in dressing it up.

Voice

[unduly_pitiless]

I...?

[She lets out another sob, then goes silent for a few seconds.]

No. No no no no please....

If I died, then what's...how can I be here...? How can I be anywhere?

Re: Voice

[christ_onabike]

Honest to God, I'm really fucking sorry.

This is sort of... like an afterlife. Except! You get to earn a second chance at life, instead of it just being heaven or hell or some religious shit. Don't ask me to explain the how, I dunno how, but I do know it fucking works, because I've been here before.

Basically, some of us are responsible for making sure the rest of you earn that second chance. And some of us are busy earning it. Or failing to earn it. Or actively being wankers. It's your choice, mate. Given that you dunno where you are, you're one of the latter. You're an inmate. I'm a warden, that's one of the former. Ignore any fucker who tells you it's like prison. It's not. It's a lot fucking weirder.

Voice

[unduly_pitiless]

I don't know how anyone could say this is like a prison. I can't imagine any prison like this.

[She makes a low noise in her throat like she's going to start crying again, but swallows hard and goes silent.]

So...I can't leave, I can't go home if I don't...deserve it?

Re: Voice

[christ_onabike]

Because there's 'wardens' and 'inmates' and most fucking people here haven't been to a real prison.

... look, love, when I got here, I didn't think I deserved it, but I was wrong. You can get to go home when you've made up for whatever shit you did, and you must have done something, even if you don't realise what it is yet, mistakes aren't fucking made. They really aren't, sorry, love.

Voice

[unduly_pitiless]

That isn't...

I'm not - I've done things I'm not proud of. I know that. And if I have to make up for them then I will, I just...this is so...

This is a lot to have to take in all at once. I'm sorry.

Re: Voice

[christ_onabike]

I know, love, it's alright. I'm sorry for dumping it all on you at once, but it's better to know than not know.

Upside is, you can't die again. There's still like... suffering if you do, but it's not permanent.

Can't really give you many more upsides, but you'll get used to it soon enough.

Voice

[unduly_pitiless]

[There's a long pause.]

I can't, but it's...

You mean it's temporary? You can get killed but you just...come back again?

Re: Voice

[christ_onabike]

Yeah, basically. It's fucking painful, I've heard, and that's not free reign to go around being Miss Invicible or killing fuckers left right and centre. Still has fucking huge consequences.

Voice

[unduly_pitiless]

No - no. Please don't that, I'd never, I couldn't...

[She sounds a bit upset and weepy again.]

I'm not like that.

Re: Voice

[christ_onabike]

Never said you were, love. I just don't know who I'm running into here, yeah?

So, tell me about 'bout yourself, Alice. Where you from?

Voice

[unduly_pitiless]

Yes. I'm sorry.

I - my parents lived just outside London. I had a flat in the city, for my work.