Fire’s out Desire’s gone All the beautifully written words have come to a stop
I’m glad to see that I am not the only one to toils on ways to stay a child forever
I’m not sure why we are so terrified of growing up
Many of us will grow up to experience thing we could never imagine, to achieve goals, to meet the loves of our lives, and in these endeavors some of us may even acquire wealth.
With the good comes the bad, I don’t think it will be smooth sailing for any of us. To grasp any of this there will be hard work which most of us are just not willing to commit to. Its not the work we fear, it’s the chance that even if we work our hardest we will still fail and we will finally know just how great we’re not.
In a comment left in my previous entry my dearest Torie Bop called me ‘Kiki’, a child hood term of endearment so lovingly given to me by my youngest sister Devin. The name Caitlin was just much to complicated for her 10 month old mind. And so it was, I was called Kiki for the next few years until I was ‘too old’ and was embarrassed by the name. My bringing it back it just another example of how I tried to stop dead in my tracks and wrench myself backward in time.
Thinking back I remember how I used to see the world and I would never go back to being 8 yrs old. I know that the first things that come to mind about being 8 is the worry free world and how fuck was just something that rhymed with duck. But digging a little deeper I remember the stress and the worries I had as a kid. The fear to fall asleep because I truly believed unless I prayed to god every night, that when I closed my eyes, everyone I loved would die (try being 9 and going to sleep with that on your mind).
Since then things have only improved I have become much more social and very well adjusted. I can sleep yay for me!
Maybe that’s what growing up will be like - it will have its difficult moments and we will survive them with as much grace and dignity that each situation will allow us and each day we will learn something new to help us sleep at night-
Oh and p.s. Sarah is the best
She is just the coolest kid in town
I would even go as far as to say SHES THE CATS MEOW
I’m not sure why we are so terrified of growing up
Many of us will grow up to experience thing we could never imagine, to achieve goals, to meet the loves of our lives, and in these endeavors some of us may even acquire wealth.
With the good comes the bad, I don’t think it will be smooth sailing for any of us. To grasp any of this there will be hard work which most of us are just not willing to commit to. Its not the work we fear, it’s the chance that even if we work our hardest we will still fail and we will finally know just how great we’re not.
In a comment left in my previous entry my dearest Torie Bop called me ‘Kiki’, a child hood term of endearment so lovingly given to me by my youngest sister Devin. The name Caitlin was just much to complicated for her 10 month old mind. And so it was, I was called Kiki for the next few years until I was ‘too old’ and was embarrassed by the name. My bringing it back it just another example of how I tried to stop dead in my tracks and wrench myself backward in time.
Thinking back I remember how I used to see the world and I would never go back to being 8 yrs old. I know that the first things that come to mind about being 8 is the worry free world and how fuck was just something that rhymed with duck. But digging a little deeper I remember the stress and the worries I had as a kid. The fear to fall asleep because I truly believed unless I prayed to god every night, that when I closed my eyes, everyone I loved would die (try being 9 and going to sleep with that on your mind).
Since then things have only improved I have become much more social and very well adjusted. I can sleep yay for me!
Maybe that’s what growing up will be like - it will have its difficult moments and we will survive them with as much grace and dignity that each situation will allow us and each day we will learn something new to help us sleep at night-
Oh and p.s. Sarah is the best
She is just the coolest kid in town
I would even go as far as to say SHES THE CATS MEOW