(no subject)
if it was a plea for help it was a useless one. and it was fake. why else would it be thrown on deaf ears. If he told her all he hears in her voice on the phone is someone else touching her at that moment, would it sound any deferent then his vague hints of unhappyness. where does the dream end and mental destruction begin? to feel a dick fill an endless supply of holes or maybe just one more. to drowned. if it had been melodrama shouldnt it have an end. boredom seeps into distrust and self loathing. I could say that it was a multiple personality disorder but nothing realy switches off, more like everything vibrates and merges with no end in sight. I know you cant trust a fuck budy and you cant fuck trust, or maybe everybody is just ment to pass deseases back and forth until someone gets pregnent like a dirty game of duck duck goose. im bored with my games ive played them to long. to get up and leave to play a real one on one. Life is shiting fucking eating and dying atleast thats what they say. the real measure of anyones worth to you is one thing and one thing only: can you and this person get into a car right this second, leave the town you live in, say fuck all to everything there and never come back. if the answer is no, this person is worthless. if the answer is yes, this person is real to you. donot loose that person. My friend Ian Bezman was like that infact we did attempt to leave and go places, it was fun. but now i can honestly say i have nobody like that. it comes down to every human relationship im involved in be it friend family or whatever is realy nothing because they are nothing when it comes to the my test of one. and to you all i say im sorry