any ol' lie will do.
never before have i wanted to be in the northwest so much before tonight.
i just experienced two amazing bands. one from portland (blitzen trapper) and the other from seattle (fleet foxes).
fleet foxes caught my attention much more than b.t. did. mainly because their sound is so pure. i feel as if i'm in a field of sunflowers in the 70s, twirling around in a white cotton dress when i close my eyes and listen to them. that's the only way i can describe it. just pure.
tonight, although exhausted from working for 7 hours, i was pretty indifferent about seeing this concert. i had it written down as a "must see" for a few months just because of the buzz around the two bands... and in anticipation of seeing fleet foxes at pitchfork. but i turned down an offer to go to hotel frank to see perry h. matthews to head to slowdown.
* this by no means is me trying to say that i would've rather gone to hotel frank. i actually dislike the place. but it was either see and be with friends that i haven't seen in a few days due to school... or go to a concert where i only knew for sure one person going. plus going to concerts alone as often as i do can kind of get to a person.
regardless. i was enamored. granted, this was in part due to the guitarist, skyler. an attractive musician who didn't necessarily stick out as a charismatic figure in the band, but nonetheless caught my eye the entire performance.
my heartstrings tremble when a non-singing member of a band mouths the words to the song along with the band mates. to me this signifies that this person is genuinely content with not being center stage, but all the while remaining an important part of the ensemble. i find it more endearing, in fact, than the lead singers... just to see a percussionist or guitarist sing along to the words with closed eyes... in their own world, enjoying every second.
this is what skyler did. and i couldn't peel my eyes off him. i went out of my way to dodge the tall people in front of me to just watch his face during the show. i had to see him.
i was ecstatic to see him at the merch table after their set. money has been tight lately, so my usual buying of t-shirts and posters has been put to the back of my mind. but i was notified of a deal of an EP and t-shirt for $20. deal? maybe. but honestly i just wanted to talk to him.
this is when my nerves set in. i have a hard time talking to attractive men. i always feel inadequate standing next to a posh, scene girl.. while i fade to the background in my dark wash jeans, flats, peacoat and $5 scarf. being a 5 foot nothing brunette honestly does not grant you the attention you may feel you deserve.
i began by acting coy.
"you did a really great job..."
he smiled, looked down and said "thank you."
i asked him if he was originally from seattle.
he said yes, and i went on to tell him of my love and hopes to one day be there, soon.
he asked if i had been there, and more importantly, seen the ocean.
i said yes, yes.
he mentioned that it's hard for people who grow up "in the middle" to see the beauty of the ocean.
i told him of my jealously, then got nervous.
i then asked if the t-shirts ran small or large.
coyly, defeated, walked away.
it was in no way a disaster. in fact, it was a triumph for my shy self.
but i let my own insecurities rip me to shreds. i know i could've talked to him for the rest of the night, or at the very least introduce myself.
but i just couldn't. there were too many pretty girls standing around me, fighting for my prime spot to talk to him.
i stayed attentive to blitzen trapper, but honestly kept one eye on him, see where he was and whom he was talking to. i had no reason to be weary. he was enjoying the show with everyone else. but i was certain that he would position himself near the pretty girls. never did.
we exchanged glances often, but nothing more was said.
i just wish that i could've introduced myself and continued the conversation. now i'm one of the 7,500 people asking to be added to their myspace, telling them i loved their show and hope they return. seriously? seriously.
i wish that girls like me could one day have the upper hand. not be worried about the obvious girls that put out. that there are men out there that seek us out, and appreciate us more. but it seems like there is no hope. what so ever.
when will i find my seattle guitarist? my "igby"... my kieran culkin. i'm losing more and more hope as the years pass by. i know i'm young. and i know i have many years ahead of me to meet guys. but i just want him... the guy i know i deserve and that i dream is hoping for someone like me to cross their path at a concert and have the guts to strike up a conversation and hold it for more than 1.2 minutes.
i just experienced two amazing bands. one from portland (blitzen trapper) and the other from seattle (fleet foxes).
fleet foxes caught my attention much more than b.t. did. mainly because their sound is so pure. i feel as if i'm in a field of sunflowers in the 70s, twirling around in a white cotton dress when i close my eyes and listen to them. that's the only way i can describe it. just pure.
tonight, although exhausted from working for 7 hours, i was pretty indifferent about seeing this concert. i had it written down as a "must see" for a few months just because of the buzz around the two bands... and in anticipation of seeing fleet foxes at pitchfork. but i turned down an offer to go to hotel frank to see perry h. matthews to head to slowdown.
* this by no means is me trying to say that i would've rather gone to hotel frank. i actually dislike the place. but it was either see and be with friends that i haven't seen in a few days due to school... or go to a concert where i only knew for sure one person going. plus going to concerts alone as often as i do can kind of get to a person.
regardless. i was enamored. granted, this was in part due to the guitarist, skyler. an attractive musician who didn't necessarily stick out as a charismatic figure in the band, but nonetheless caught my eye the entire performance.
my heartstrings tremble when a non-singing member of a band mouths the words to the song along with the band mates. to me this signifies that this person is genuinely content with not being center stage, but all the while remaining an important part of the ensemble. i find it more endearing, in fact, than the lead singers... just to see a percussionist or guitarist sing along to the words with closed eyes... in their own world, enjoying every second.
this is what skyler did. and i couldn't peel my eyes off him. i went out of my way to dodge the tall people in front of me to just watch his face during the show. i had to see him.
i was ecstatic to see him at the merch table after their set. money has been tight lately, so my usual buying of t-shirts and posters has been put to the back of my mind. but i was notified of a deal of an EP and t-shirt for $20. deal? maybe. but honestly i just wanted to talk to him.
this is when my nerves set in. i have a hard time talking to attractive men. i always feel inadequate standing next to a posh, scene girl.. while i fade to the background in my dark wash jeans, flats, peacoat and $5 scarf. being a 5 foot nothing brunette honestly does not grant you the attention you may feel you deserve.
i began by acting coy.
"you did a really great job..."
he smiled, looked down and said "thank you."
i asked him if he was originally from seattle.
he said yes, and i went on to tell him of my love and hopes to one day be there, soon.
he asked if i had been there, and more importantly, seen the ocean.
i said yes, yes.
he mentioned that it's hard for people who grow up "in the middle" to see the beauty of the ocean.
i told him of my jealously, then got nervous.
i then asked if the t-shirts ran small or large.
coyly, defeated, walked away.
it was in no way a disaster. in fact, it was a triumph for my shy self.
but i let my own insecurities rip me to shreds. i know i could've talked to him for the rest of the night, or at the very least introduce myself.
but i just couldn't. there were too many pretty girls standing around me, fighting for my prime spot to talk to him.
i stayed attentive to blitzen trapper, but honestly kept one eye on him, see where he was and whom he was talking to. i had no reason to be weary. he was enjoying the show with everyone else. but i was certain that he would position himself near the pretty girls. never did.
we exchanged glances often, but nothing more was said.
i just wish that i could've introduced myself and continued the conversation. now i'm one of the 7,500 people asking to be added to their myspace, telling them i loved their show and hope they return. seriously? seriously.
i wish that girls like me could one day have the upper hand. not be worried about the obvious girls that put out. that there are men out there that seek us out, and appreciate us more. but it seems like there is no hope. what so ever.
when will i find my seattle guitarist? my "igby"... my kieran culkin. i'm losing more and more hope as the years pass by. i know i'm young. and i know i have many years ahead of me to meet guys. but i just want him... the guy i know i deserve and that i dream is hoping for someone like me to cross their path at a concert and have the guts to strike up a conversation and hold it for more than 1.2 minutes.