(no subject)
i am drunk and no one is here for me.
i got into a fight with... i dunno what she is. in my dream world she is my gf and her dream world i am probably not even there but if i had to be... bff with benefits. whatever i don't know anything. she runs the show and i am in a dark corner she visits when she needs to.
i didn't want to go drinking. hell i gotta work at 830am. but bars on mondays... sundays are even better but they close at midnight. notta lotta people. my friends offered to buy me drinks since i sent him a very emo "i wanna crawl in a hole and die" txt. i also had 10 bucks... woohoo. i don't do shots, but i did them.
i saw this guy in the bar that was trying to get me to fuck him thru his horrible txt messages a couple weeks ago. his approach was to tell me how desperate he was. my approach was to ignore him. why do i have to tell people i am gay? they should just know. i mean fuck... duh.
if i could be consoled at all thru randoms fucks with the opposite sex i am sure i would be a raging whore, but i am pretty sure i would just vomit and need a crying game shower if not revenge.
i need a shirt that says that.
the fight? oh yeah it was about stupid shit, but i guess the kicker is that it stems from some serious shit that never gets dicussed just pushed back farther into our minds. she always has a "headache" or i guess the direct quote would be "my head hurts" every time i want some sort or clarity on what we have.
i think i deserve better, but it is hard to get yourself to believe it when love is involved. you always have the ability to convince youself that tomorrow will be different, next week, next month.... sadly i am at the point where i am saying "next year" and i wonder where the last year has gone and how many regrets i have and how badly i miss myself but can't get it back at no fault of the girl or anyone else. i feel like 30 is the dead line for something,... i just don't know what and i gotta figure it out soon.
i will end up alone and sadly it only makes me sick when i am with someone.
anyhow... blah blah blah. 8:30 is fuckin EARLY!
and the backspace key is golden.
i got into a fight with... i dunno what she is. in my dream world she is my gf and her dream world i am probably not even there but if i had to be... bff with benefits. whatever i don't know anything. she runs the show and i am in a dark corner she visits when she needs to.
i didn't want to go drinking. hell i gotta work at 830am. but bars on mondays... sundays are even better but they close at midnight. notta lotta people. my friends offered to buy me drinks since i sent him a very emo "i wanna crawl in a hole and die" txt. i also had 10 bucks... woohoo. i don't do shots, but i did them.
i saw this guy in the bar that was trying to get me to fuck him thru his horrible txt messages a couple weeks ago. his approach was to tell me how desperate he was. my approach was to ignore him. why do i have to tell people i am gay? they should just know. i mean fuck... duh.
if i could be consoled at all thru randoms fucks with the opposite sex i am sure i would be a raging whore, but i am pretty sure i would just vomit and need a crying game shower if not revenge.
i need a shirt that says that.
the fight? oh yeah it was about stupid shit, but i guess the kicker is that it stems from some serious shit that never gets dicussed just pushed back farther into our minds. she always has a "headache" or i guess the direct quote would be "my head hurts" every time i want some sort or clarity on what we have.
i think i deserve better, but it is hard to get yourself to believe it when love is involved. you always have the ability to convince youself that tomorrow will be different, next week, next month.... sadly i am at the point where i am saying "next year" and i wonder where the last year has gone and how many regrets i have and how badly i miss myself but can't get it back at no fault of the girl or anyone else. i feel like 30 is the dead line for something,... i just don't know what and i gotta figure it out soon.
i will end up alone and sadly it only makes me sick when i am with someone.
anyhow... blah blah blah. 8:30 is fuckin EARLY!
and the backspace key is golden.