# 001

[undesiring]

Told mom that I'll be staying at school for Christmas. She didn't sound too happy about it, but I just don't feel like being with her or Jed for this holiday. Besides, the people here won't be so enthusiastic about getting me out and socializing I think

Comments

[holdontime]

Sometimes it's better to spend holidays away from home. Sometimes...

Welcome to journal-land. Be careful not to get stuck under the mistletoe with the first person you talk to.

[undesiring]

Yeah. Jed's being a jerk lately, even talking to him sucks, I can't imagine being in one house with him. You're not going home either?

Thanks. I've met some people under the mistletoe, but hey, a kiss is just a kiss. I wish I can feel more bothered by it.

[ooc: strikes are hardly readable]

[holdontime]

I don't feel like going home to be told over and over how much of a mess I am, and how I disappoint them. I've been trying that social thing, and people're telling me to grow a backbone.

Uh, first one isn't that important, I say. Last one is the one that counts.

[undesiring]

I can help with the socializing thing, I suppose. I'm trying to be less of a hermit, too.

Last one, huh? For now, I don't think it matters at all if you don't love the other person. It's just like, holding another person's hand; it only matters if you love the other person. If you don't then, well, it's just holding hands.

[holdontime]

I've been told it's good...this socializing thing. Can't be sure yet.

Pfft. It's not like love exists for people like us, anyway.

[undesiring]

Well, I don't know about good, but it's something we should do, I guess. Humans are social beings, they say.

Yeah, can't say it does.

[holdontime]

Books are more reliable then people, I say. They don't stab you in the back, or say you're a worthless daughter, or ask you to find them clients, or make you life--nevermind.

There's always hope, but one tends to lose it...

[undesiring]

Yeah, but not everyone's bad, I guess. Most are, but not all.

Well actually, I know love exists but I also know it's not for me. I'm a cold cold bitch, see?

[holdontime]

I don't feel like chasing after everyone to see if they're good.

We don't need it to survive. And you may be a cold cold bitch, but you make damn good hot chocolate.

[undesiring]

You don't need to. I'll usher the good one to you.

Glad you like it! I hope you won't start throwing it out when I say I used full-cream milk though. Most girls use non-fat shit.

[holdontime]

Mmm, maybe you should keep him for yourself.

Oh no, my entrails. They're moving. Full-cream. I'm dying. You murderer. Woe is me. Bla bla bla.

[undesiring]

Nah, you'll treat him better than I ever could.

*CACKLES* And I added sugar!

[holdontime]

You don't know that. I can see it now: "Hey honey, what's for breakfast?" "I made a large buffet of exotic foods, but then I knew it wouldn't be enough for you, so I threw it away and made omelette pie. I'm SORRY." Yeah, nice. My family has trained me well.

*DIES SLOWLY* You...have killed...the best...paintress...since...Van Gogh. But at least she had both ears when she died.

[undesiring]

Oh, yeah I do. He'd be lucky if I'd ever stoop so low as to make him any breakfast, or anything at all, at that.

You're not dead yet, there's still time for me to cut your ear off if you want? I can do your right one so no one would accuse you of being a copycat.

[holdontime]

Oh, hey, but maybe if you're in love, you'd be sweeter. "Honey, can you make breakfast?" "Eat shit and die." Love version: "Honey, can you make breakfast?" "Eat shit and die...please?"

Mmm, nah, how about a finger. Or something that doesn't hurt much and I won't miss? Heart? Hair.

[undesiring]

Ahaha! True that! When you're in love with someone though, I bet you'll treat him much much better.

How about you just don't die? I can't finish this whole jug of hot chocolate by myself. At least help me finish it first before dying.