Realizations
I never really thought about it before, but I really have lived a hell of a lot more than most of the people I know.
I've been way beyond broke and lived to tell about it. I've also gone days without having an uninfluenced thought/memory. I've moved around an inane amount of times, not only within Michigan, but other states as well as countries. I've been involuntarily admitted into the psych ward. I've spent weeks without staying in the same place 2 nights in a row. There has been times when I had no idea when/where my next meal was coming. I've been arrested and I've so narrowly missed being caught doing whatever I shouldn't have been doing more times than I can count on my hands and feet. I've experienced pain like you wouldn't believe, both physically and mentally, and come out on top. I've been caught on fire for christ's sake. I've made friends with people from all kinds of walks of life and I can honestly say there are people I would give my life for and I have people that would lay everything they've got on the line for me as well.
Life isn't easy. Fuck. Life isn't all that difficult either. It just depends on whether or not you are willing to take that leap of faith and dive head first into the thick of things without blinking an eye.
I've always tried to live under the terms that I will regret nothing. That doesn't mean that I tread carefully and quadruple think everything out before I do it. Have I made colossal mistakes? You'd better believe it. Do I regret said mistakes? Hell no. Living without regret doesn't mean I'm constantly walking on eggshells, it means that I refuse to regret anything I've done regardless of the consequences. For without my mistakes, my faults, my past indiscretions, I would be no where near the person I am today. Whether or not you believe that is a good thing is your own cup of tea.
Maybe it is because I have had such a crazy fucked up life, that I refuse to settle. Maybe I'm just restless. Who knows. Who really cares? I sure as hell don't. I'll just continue to close my eyes and see where I end up when I open them. Besides, it has served me well enough so far.
I'd rather live my entire life with one foot on each side of the line separating the sane from the insane, than with both feet firmly planted inside a bubble of security.
Life is too short to spend it living through rose-colored glasses. Once you take them off you'll realize how many colors there are that you never really knew existed. How many experiences you cannot wait to have that you had previously put so much time, money, and effort into avoiding. How many surprises, heartbreaks, thoughts, memories, realizations, ect, that you missed out on. You only life once after all. There are no sequels, rewrites, revisions, focus groups, rewinds, fast forwards, or even deletes. You get one shot and in all truth and reality you only get one review. One critic. You.
Regardless of whether you were Mother Theresea or Adolf Hitler or anywhere in between for that matter, you'll be praised at your funeral. At the risk of sounding cliche, nobody bad mouths the dead.
Who cares what anybody else thinks. You're the only person that has to live in your shoes. Regardless of the consequences, every decision boils down to one person. You. Yea, there may be repercussions of whatever that decision may be, but ultimately you're the only one that can make that final decision. Enjoy it. It's the only thing you will ever have complete control over. Once whatever it is has left your hands, it's gone. You don't get to do it again. There is no such thing as backtracking. There is no such thing as another shot. In short, It's gone. Life with it, or don't I guess, but make sure whatever you do was sure as hell worth it, because at some point you're going to have to face it.
When all has been said and done, can you pass the tests and challenges that you've put on yourself? Can you look yourself in the eye and honestly said you gave it your best shot? If you were suddenly given the diagnosis that you will not live through the night, could you go to sleep with a smile? Not because you wish you were dead, but because you gave it all you got. Because in the few hours you had left, there was nothing more you could do. Because whatever you could come up with, would be no match for the life you'd already lived.
The way I see it, the only way to know what you are capable of, is to throw yourself into the Lion's Den and see what happens. Trust me, you'll never feel so alive as when you do when you truly have nothing left to lose.
"Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."
~Robert Frost
I've been way beyond broke and lived to tell about it. I've also gone days without having an uninfluenced thought/memory. I've moved around an inane amount of times, not only within Michigan, but other states as well as countries. I've been involuntarily admitted into the psych ward. I've spent weeks without staying in the same place 2 nights in a row. There has been times when I had no idea when/where my next meal was coming. I've been arrested and I've so narrowly missed being caught doing whatever I shouldn't have been doing more times than I can count on my hands and feet. I've experienced pain like you wouldn't believe, both physically and mentally, and come out on top. I've been caught on fire for christ's sake. I've made friends with people from all kinds of walks of life and I can honestly say there are people I would give my life for and I have people that would lay everything they've got on the line for me as well.
Life isn't easy. Fuck. Life isn't all that difficult either. It just depends on whether or not you are willing to take that leap of faith and dive head first into the thick of things without blinking an eye.
I've always tried to live under the terms that I will regret nothing. That doesn't mean that I tread carefully and quadruple think everything out before I do it. Have I made colossal mistakes? You'd better believe it. Do I regret said mistakes? Hell no. Living without regret doesn't mean I'm constantly walking on eggshells, it means that I refuse to regret anything I've done regardless of the consequences. For without my mistakes, my faults, my past indiscretions, I would be no where near the person I am today. Whether or not you believe that is a good thing is your own cup of tea.
Maybe it is because I have had such a crazy fucked up life, that I refuse to settle. Maybe I'm just restless. Who knows. Who really cares? I sure as hell don't. I'll just continue to close my eyes and see where I end up when I open them. Besides, it has served me well enough so far.
I'd rather live my entire life with one foot on each side of the line separating the sane from the insane, than with both feet firmly planted inside a bubble of security.
Life is too short to spend it living through rose-colored glasses. Once you take them off you'll realize how many colors there are that you never really knew existed. How many experiences you cannot wait to have that you had previously put so much time, money, and effort into avoiding. How many surprises, heartbreaks, thoughts, memories, realizations, ect, that you missed out on. You only life once after all. There are no sequels, rewrites, revisions, focus groups, rewinds, fast forwards, or even deletes. You get one shot and in all truth and reality you only get one review. One critic. You.
Regardless of whether you were Mother Theresea or Adolf Hitler or anywhere in between for that matter, you'll be praised at your funeral. At the risk of sounding cliche, nobody bad mouths the dead.
Who cares what anybody else thinks. You're the only person that has to live in your shoes. Regardless of the consequences, every decision boils down to one person. You. Yea, there may be repercussions of whatever that decision may be, but ultimately you're the only one that can make that final decision. Enjoy it. It's the only thing you will ever have complete control over. Once whatever it is has left your hands, it's gone. You don't get to do it again. There is no such thing as backtracking. There is no such thing as another shot. In short, It's gone. Life with it, or don't I guess, but make sure whatever you do was sure as hell worth it, because at some point you're going to have to face it.
When all has been said and done, can you pass the tests and challenges that you've put on yourself? Can you look yourself in the eye and honestly said you gave it your best shot? If you were suddenly given the diagnosis that you will not live through the night, could you go to sleep with a smile? Not because you wish you were dead, but because you gave it all you got. Because in the few hours you had left, there was nothing more you could do. Because whatever you could come up with, would be no match for the life you'd already lived.
The way I see it, the only way to know what you are capable of, is to throw yourself into the Lion's Den and see what happens. Trust me, you'll never feel so alive as when you do when you truly have nothing left to lose.
"Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."
~Robert Frost