Something I'd have been ashamed of seeing again, or having others see. [Not like she isn't already reminded of those things frequently, or someone hasn't seen them already. Maybe that was the point.]
Something that might have bothered me more, at least.
[A pause as she tries to decide how to word this.]
I continue to work like I used to and I am working on revising the guide. However I do make sure to take time away to spend with friends who are not at Strife Delivery.
audio;privategodlessblossomFebruary 6 2012, 04:11:14 UTC
[She switches the feed to private with a sigh.]
It is fine. I [She pauses and it takes a lot for her to admit the next part, but it IS Jill...] I am not well. I can handle needing a cane until my legs are working properly once more but not the rest. I cannot be alone. Every time it even looks as if I am being left alone this panic takes over. [She starts to sound panicked.] I can't breath, my chest hurts, and all I can think of is that the person will leave the room and I will suddenly find myself back in that place again.
So I find myself wandering around the Underworld and surrounding myself with company, even the dead, just so I won't be alone.
audio;privatezerosuitjillFebruary 6 2012, 13:47:28 UTC
[She listens silently, and then there's a brief pause at the end.]
...I'm sorry, Misaki. [And she sounds like it -- but her voice still isn't giving away just how deep the frown on her face now is.] I know trying to sound logical won't be much help -- I can't just promise you that place is gone and hope that'll be enough.
But it'll get better. I can tell you that. It might take a while, and some effort, but... it will get better.
[Even if you never can forget.]
But until that happens, you know Ruka and I will be there to help.
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[And she honestly sounds like it; calm, if a little more reserved than usual.]
I just didn't expect that one, of all possibilities.
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Something I'd have been ashamed of seeing again, or having others see. [Not like she isn't already reminded of those things frequently, or someone hasn't seen them already. Maybe that was the point.]
Something that might have bothered me more, at least.
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A brief pause.]
How've you been lately?
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[And then there's just the fact that she's a workaholic, but.]
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Strife's has been going well lately. Have you taken much time off? [It's not in an accusing or patronizing tone, either; just curious.]
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I continue to work like I used to and I am working on revising the guide. However I do make sure to take time away to spend with friends who are not at Strife Delivery.
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[...she's concerned, okay. :|]
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[Answer evasion. Misaki's good at it.]
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...I don't mean to nag, though.
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It is fine. I [She pauses and it takes a lot for her to admit the next part, but it IS Jill...] I am not well. I can handle needing a cane until my legs are working properly once more but not the rest. I cannot be alone. Every time it even looks as if I am being left alone this panic takes over. [She starts to sound panicked.] I can't breath, my chest hurts, and all I can think of is that the person will leave the room and I will suddenly find myself back in that place again.
So I find myself wandering around the Underworld and surrounding myself with company, even the dead, just so I won't be alone.
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...I'm sorry, Misaki. [And she sounds like it -- but her voice still isn't giving away just how deep the frown on her face now is.] I know trying to sound logical won't be much help -- I can't just promise you that place is gone and hope that'll be enough.
But it'll get better. I can tell you that. It might take a while, and some effort, but... it will get better.
[Even if you never can forget.]
But until that happens, you know Ruka and I will be there to help.
Reply
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