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[shutupmerlin]

[ The tablet displays a man in chainmail and plate armor face down on Charon's raft a few feet away - device still being held by the boatman. For a moment the body is still, and then a loud groan emits from it.

The head moves. Glances around. Stills.

A sigh and it's like the whole man deflates with exasperation. ]

Merlin. [ Tone just seething

Comments

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[slayerdom]

... You have so gotta be kidding me.

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[shutupmerlin]

[ And suddenly, from out of nowhere, Hark! A voice! What.

He stops. Glances around. Makes a kind of sour face, and says in a deadpan, to the air around him - ]

...Hello?

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[slayerdom]

Uh. Down here. Big, shiny electronic thing. Woo hoo. [ She waves, trying to attract his attention with movement. ] Yeah, hey. Princely guy. Got your answers. Or, well, sort of.

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[shutupmerlin]

[ Shuffling over warily to kind of peer down at the tablet. Not going to pick it up because, yeah, obviously sorcery, but just. Stare at it from up here. And a couple feet away. ]

So I show up in a mysterious cavern and a skeleton hands me an obsidian slab of rock with a girl trapped inside... All things considered, still not the strangest. How did you... [ looks a little sideways at the tablet now ] ...get in there?

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[slayerdom]

Oh, you think I'm -- [ She looks marginally amused, then slowly starts to crack up, finally covering her mouth with a hand and muffling it. She gets herself under control with a leveling breath, but can't mute the grin. ]

Well, it's not exactly -- I mean, I'm not stuck. There is zero stickage. I'm not in anything, I'm -- I'm in my home. Or, well, Po Ping's home. Until I get a home. A -- A temporary home of course. Because me with the Underworld home-making, big unmixy things.

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[shutupmerlin]

[ He line faces and just waits out the giggle fit like a nice boy, because she's a lady and actually being helpful so he's not going to be a jerk to her yet. ]

A means of communication, then. [ Harry told him. And just eyebrow quirking at that jumble of words there, Buffy. Hold on, have to translate. Okay. ] I'm sorry, I think you mentioned 'Underworld' somewhere in there? What Underworld?

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[slayerdom]

Well, generally the Underworld is found to be the one that's under the world. Not really sure ... how many of those there are. [ She makes a weird face at that, but shrugs it off. ] Anyway. It's just the fancy way of saying hell dimension really.

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[shutupmerlin]

Yeah, I'd actually managed to break the word down all on my own. So, right, just as it appears - big underground cave. I'm glad I've gotten that cleared up.

. . . Hell dimension. [ Staaare. What. ] That, actually, will need clarifying. If you'd be so kind.

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[slayerdom]

Not so much cave. It's hell, Arthur. The afterlife. Limbo, Hell, whatever you wanna call it, this is it. Where souls come to rest. Or, not-so-rest, in our case.

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[shutupmerlin]

Hell. [ eyebrows raised, line fais. ] Right, one small issue with that - I'm not dead.

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[slayerdom]

Yeah, that's what I keep tellin' 'em. I mean, you'd think if I was gonna wind up here, it'd be while I was, but nooo. Wait 'til Buffy's alive and kickin' and busy as heck to haul her down here again. [ Sigh. ] It doesn't seem to matter right now. Charon -- Skelo-Guy, you met him -- seems to have gotten his wires crossed. Or some bad orders. Anyway, he's bringing pleeeenty of living people down to hang right about now, but it's a one-way ticket.

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[shutupmerlin]

While you were dead? [ Stare. He's doing a lot of that. You're breaking his brain, Buffy. Okay, well, he's been mostly dead, like, once, but that's not the same. You're just weird. ] You make it sound like an everyday activity.

So it's a dungeon. Is there a reason for it aside from the cheeky irony or living trapped in [ sigh, what is this even ] the afterlife?

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[slayerdom]

Gods at war. Basically, Hades has gone wayyy off the reservation and Hecate's keeping him in check so that everybody in the world doesn't drop dead and wind up Underworld bait.

Personally, I prefer focusing on the cheeky irony.

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[shutupmerlin]

Doesn't drop dead from what? Lack of anything remotely cheerful or overexposure to terrible decor choices?

Amusing as that is, think I'd rather hear the actual reason for it.

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[slayerdom]

From Hades killing them to up his theme park attendance.

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[shutupmerlin]

Killing them. What's the point in taking hostages if you're going to kill them? [ Eyebrow quuuirk ] His what?