Lying still in her little light

[godlessblossom]

Who; godlessblossom and doesnotbrood
What; Misaki returns after what feels like months
Where; Strife Delivery
When; Monday the 23rd, Evening
Rating; PG-13, maybe R for talk of torture
Status; In Progress

Comments

[doesnotbrood]

His futile efforts of scouting the underworld had done little to wear down his resolve. He'd experienced these disappearances before. They never ended well for those who'd been taken, and the more who were designated as missing, the more he knew it to be so. It pained him more than he'd thought it would that Misaki was being subjected to horrors he could only try in vain to fathom, and even more so that he could do nothing to change it from being so.

For two days he'd searched, but called it pointless after visiting the same haunts several times. The cave complex alone was a task best suited for large groups, and even then it was so seemingly expansive, they could never have hoped to find anyone in time. Even now, he was only regrouping and tending to what little paperwork he was able when her furtive words gave him a start. He was to her side in the next instance, taking her arms in his to steady her.

"Misaki! You...you should be resting." What was he supposed to do?

[godlessblossom]

Resting. As if she could rest any longer. A hysterical laugh sounded in the room and it took a moment for her to realize that she was the source of it, her mind was too focused on the hands holding on to her. They were real. How long had it been since she had real human contact? Months. In the beginning she had her wishes fulfilled, her friends returned to her, only to have the happiness quickly fade when they took part in her torture

[doesnotbrood]

That ringing laughter did more to disquiet him than he let on, his brow simply furrowing in concern. He really had no way of fathoming what had happened to her, save torture which was plainly and painfully obvious, but she sounded worse than that, touched somehow, and he didn't know what to do.

All he could do was nod at her question for a moment before he could find the words, which seemed silly to him, after they'd been uttered. "Yes, I am real."

[godlessblossom]

Even the simple response was enough to calm her. After some time her imagination had stopped responding, refusing to exert the energy necessary to have her figments answer her. Misaki took a deep breath, a little voice in her mind telling her that she was too close to going mad.

Another deep breath, and another, and another. Once her breathing was a little more controlled, the scared laughter no longer bubbling up, she looked around, her mind grasping for some random fact, a question, to pull the semblance of what she once was out of her current shell.

"How long," She swallowed, trying not to wince when speaking from her throat's pain. "have I been.. away?"

[doesnotbrood]

What he wouldn't give for a few healing poultices. She seemed to him, at that moment, so frail and young, vulnerable and small. He had no knowledge of comfort, and no way of knowing what she needed in that moment, because it seemed to be so much more than simple healing. Who could help her? Anders had left, and while he was loathe to admit it, in that instant, he'd have given anything for the self-righteous mage to return to the Underworld.

He blinked at her question, thinking for a moment before answering. "Four days, if I count correctly."

[godlessblossom]

Part of her wanted to curl up quietly and just sleep, dismissing reality from her mind once more. The only thing stopping her was the fear that if she stopped thinking, or stopped talking and responding to Fenris, he would go away. She did not want to be alone again.

It took longer than it should for her mind to process his words and even longer for it to sink in. "No." She shook her head. "It was months."

Only four days? Misaki stared off blankly for a couple minutes before turning her face towards Fenris.

"Can you help me to my desk?"

[doesnotbrood]

"Perhaps it seemed so, Misaki, but it wasn't. Not here." His brow furrowed at her question. Work was the last thing she needed to be doing. "I'm certain it can wait."

[godlessblossom]

"No." She shook her head, her mind racing and it hurt so much. She could feel the beginning of a headache and Misaki had to silence the voice telling her that she would wake up soon, alone, and it would be the cruelest torture yet.

If Fenris would not help her then... She took a deep breath and tried to stand up, finally managing despite her legs feeling like jelly. She pulled a hand away from Fenris to steady herself with the wall. "I need to write before I forget."

[doesnotbrood]

He reached out again, taking her hand in his. If she was determined to get to her desk, she wouldn't do it alone, not if Fenris had anything to say about it.

"Wait. If you must, then I'll help."

[godlessblossom]

"Thank you." She held tightly onto his hand, looking forward and she collapsed into her desk's chair as soon as she could, letting go of his hand. Her desk did look as she remembered, her black journal with notes from her world tucked next to her accounting book. She pulled the black one out to look at the pictures of the ghosts, taking in every crease. It was still hard to believe she was home. Back in the Underworld at least.

Closing the journal and putting it away, Misaki opened a drawer to withdraw her communicator and another black journal. Instead of writing though she turned the tablet on and stared at the date.

"Only four days." Her fingers moved over a series of very small crescent shaped scars on her arm, markers of each day. She wasn't sure why she was shaking and barely registered the tears coming down her cheeks.

"I-I'm sorry, Fenris. I just" She wrapped her arms around herself, hoping to stop the shaking and willing herself to stop crying. "I am so sorry."

[doesnotbrood]

He didn't know why she was crying, and even less so what he could do to stop it, to assure her that everything was fine now, that she was safe relatively speaking, and that he wouldn't let anything else harm her anytime soon.

He had no way of knowing how to express those emotions, though, and so he stood at her side, ready should she need him, and watched, on edge, as she moved through her belongings.

"Why are you sorry?"

[godlessblossom]

"I don't know." She shook her head in confusion and wiped uselessly at her tears. She was supposed to be stronger than this, resilient, and not so emotional. Curse this place! It was several moments before her eyes finally dried up and the shaking stopped.

She was in the Underworld, away from the horrors of the last couple months, and Fenris was present. She was no longer alone. Which suddenly reminded her of Ruka and her other friends.

"Who else was taken?"

[doesnotbrood]

He tilted his head in confusion, brow furrowing. "There's no reason to be ashamed of your tears. I can only imagine what you experienced." He swallowed, large green eyes panning to her device then back to her.

"Charis, Laura, and the human with the strange eyes. I believe his name is Gambit." He looked thoughtful. "Julian, who is a friend of Laura's. There were others, whose names I do not know."

[godlessblossom]

She shook her head again, dismissing the topic of her tears. She did not want to cry any more. She did not want to think about it, not when she was still grasping for some semblance of sanity. First on her list of priorities was grounding herself. Misaki used one hand to write down Charis, Laura, Julian, and Gambit's names on a piece of paper as she turned on the communicator.

"Julian started working here when we reopened. He will need time off." Her voice was slowly becoming stronger and she worked through the pain. She sent a quick text to Jill before looking through the other network communications.

Finally she set it down and crossed her arms over her chest before looking at Fenris with a frown. "Thank you. Are you okay?"

[doesnotbrood]

He nodded, dismissing the topic of Julian as inconsequential at the moment. There were far more important things to worry about than time off, like what precisely was on Misaki's mind and how well she truly was.

"I'm...as well as could be expected. I've...been worried." He looked to her then. "Would you be against my contacting a friend? She...is a healer."

[godlessblossom]

She almost asked 'why' before her mind fully processed what he said. It was a little disturbing that her mind was not working as fast as it usually did but she had enough sense to look down, looking over the bruises and scars on herself before shaking her head.

"If you like, but I am not physically hurt." Her legs though. "Unless the healer can help with weak limbs. I was not given an opportunity to move around." And she had not been eating well, but that much was probably obvious. "I am sorry you were worried."