(no subject)
omg i am so desparate. i havent wanted anything this bad since jess. but i have that habit of picking the people who only want to be friends dont I? so i have screwed myself over 7 ways to sunday. i dont want to go bowling but i will try anyway just so i dont seem like a spoilsport or jealous. even though i kinda am. whatever. its not important. whats important is that im going crazy because i am so damn lonely and every time i meet someone i think can "make them disappear" that person almost instantly goes and finds someone else. omg im gonna have to shoot myself. i think i might. it wouldnt be so bad.
i hate being led on and she is leading me on. or at least half of her is. but one way or another im being led on. god i hate this. im gonna start starving myself and join the wrestling team because me and carter have discovered that anyoone who joins the wrestling team has the ability to become a player of the first degree. and you know what? i want that. i want to be a player. i want to be able to lead people on and make them think they have a chance and then break them. i would enjoy watching them cry and would laugh at them when they asked why. and since i know how bad it feels they wont be able to pull that you dont know how bad this feels. i hope i can get into fuma, and when i come back from 6 months of training and im cut out of rock again, im gonna tell all these girls to screw off just like they told me to. and lead them on like they led me on. and do all sorts of mean shit that only people who look good can do. because i hate this shit so much. im not gonna show this to anybody cuz i want it to be a surprise. itll hurt more like that.
this is about natalie.
i hate being led on and she is leading me on. or at least half of her is. but one way or another im being led on. god i hate this. im gonna start starving myself and join the wrestling team because me and carter have discovered that anyoone who joins the wrestling team has the ability to become a player of the first degree. and you know what? i want that. i want to be a player. i want to be able to lead people on and make them think they have a chance and then break them. i would enjoy watching them cry and would laugh at them when they asked why. and since i know how bad it feels they wont be able to pull that you dont know how bad this feels. i hope i can get into fuma, and when i come back from 6 months of training and im cut out of rock again, im gonna tell all these girls to screw off just like they told me to. and lead them on like they led me on. and do all sorts of mean shit that only people who look good can do. because i hate this shit so much. im not gonna show this to anybody cuz i want it to be a surprise. itll hurt more like that.
this is about natalie.