When is enough? Chapter 5 (Part 1)
Title: When is enough? Chapter 5 (Part 1)
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Yunjae, Jaechun
Genre: Drama, Romance, Angst
Length: Chaptered
Author: Undertheblu
Warnings: Eating Disorders, Sex, Adult Language, Abuse
Summary: Yunho is the new roommate of Yoochun and Jaejoong, he quickly falls for Jaejoong but learns there is already some romance between his two friends. He also learns a few dark secrets of Jaejoong’s that are serious and perhaps deadly. With Jaejoong’s issues and promiscuity, is it worth it for Yunho to try to create a relationship with him? Or will Jaejoong’s bad habits do the deciding?
Read Chapter 4 here: http://undertheblu.livejournal.com/1288.html#comments
Yunho nimbly lifted Jaejoong from the stool, the smaller boy nuzzled his face into Yunho’s chest, “Can I sleep with you tonight?” He mumbled, clinging to Yunho’s soft shirt.
“Uh Jae-“
“Sleep, I want to sleep with you,” He whined, “I can’t sleep alone. Please, Yunho.”
“Alright, alright.”
Yunho took Jaejoong to his own room, setting him delicately onto his bed, thinking about how selfish he had been hiding Jaejoong’s problem from Yoochun. He was ashamed to admit even to himself, that it was because that was a secret something with Jaejoong. It was pathetic and dangerous, but it was all he had been allowed. He stroked Jaejoong’s honey colored hair, watching him drift into sleep.
“I’m sorry,” He whispered, “I’ll take better care of you from now on.”
He lay down on the bed next to his friend, wrapping his arm around him to hold him close and protect him from his bad dreams.
When Yunho woke in the morning, he was fully rested, having finally gotten a good night’s sleep for the first time in ages. He stretched his arms over his head, realizing there was no other body in the bed with him. He wondered when Jaejoong had snuck out, in the night or this morning. He wondered if he had changed his mind on a sleeping partner and went to Yoochun’s room. He sat up, shaking the jealous thoughts from his head.
As he set his feet on the floor he thought about the way Jaejoong’s soft skin smelt, the way his hair tickled Yunho’s face when he snuggled close, the way Jaejoong clung to Yunho’s shirt. Yunho sighed as he left his room, trying to leave his wishes behind the door. In the kitchen Jae was trying to talk Yoochun out of his appointment.
“Chun, I’m fine! Really, I don’t need-“
“Jaejoong, I’m not doing this again. You need to talk to someone, and you obviously wont talk to me about it.”
“I talk to you, Yoochun come on I- ” Jaejoong reached out to touch Yoochun but Yoochun only pulled away.
“No! I’m not going to keep enabling you, Jaejoong. No more of this."
Jae’s face drained of color and he looked like he was going to be sick and Yoochun let out a heavy sigh when he saw Jaejoong’s pathetic eyes, “Jae you really need to stop,” He cupped Jaejoong’s face in his hands, “It isn’t the end of the world when I’m mad at you.”
“But-“ Tears were forming in Jaejoong’s dark brown eyes, “But I need you.”
Yunho cleared his throat, “You’re appointment is in thirty minutes, Jae.”
“Yunho will go with you to that,” Yoochun said, rubbing the back of Jaejoong’s neck.
Yunho noticed Jaejoong’s obvious frown, “What? You’re not coming with me?!” He cried.
“I can’t,” Yoochun sighed, “I have that exam, the one I had rescheduled.”
Jaejoong’s breath quickened, “You can’t expect me to do this without you.”
“I know it’s scary, Jae. But Yunho will be there with you.”
Yunho glanced to his left, seeing Jaejoong tapping his fingers on his leg over and over, he reached over and grabbed Jae’s hand and held it in his. It had obviously jumped Jaejoong and that made Yunho chuckle. He smiled at the other boy’s worried face, “Jae, it’s going to be fine. A shot’s worse.”
“I’d rather a shot,” He mumbled bitterly.
“All we want you to do is talk. Easy as that.”
“Easy..” Jaejoong scoffed.
“Jaejoong?” The receptionist called, “She’s ready for you.”
Jaejoong’s head snapped around and Yunho felt his hand squeeze tightly around his own.
Jaejoong felt his hands shaking as his eyes darted around the room, he didn’t know what he was suppose to be doing. He glanced over at Yunho who just smiled encouragingly at him.
“Um, I don’t know what I’m..” He mumbled.
Dr. Sing smiled slightly, “I know the first session is always a bit strange if you’re not use to that sort of thing. How about you tell me about home life, Jaejoong.”
Jaejoong frowned slight, “Home life? Um, it’s fine."
The woman nodded, “How was your childhood.”
“Uh, fine,” He answered quickly.
“Are both your parents still together?”
Jaejoong shook his head, “My mother left when I was younger.”
“How young?” Dr. Sing asked.
Jaejoong hated answering so many questions, “Um, I don’t really remember, maybe when I was eight.”
“You weren’t that young, you don’t remember that?”
Jae shrugged, interlacing his fingers, “I just don’t think about it much.”
“Why did your mother leave?”
Jaejoong frowned at the question, “I didn’t get a chance to ask her.”
“Did your parents fight a lot?” Dr. Sing asked.
Yunho felt so awkward in the room filled with these personal questions.
“I don’t think so. I think she left because she was sick.” The words confused Jaejoong as soon as he said them. Sick? When had he ever been told she was sick? But a small voice in the back of his head reminded him of those distant memories he had of her, she had always been sleeping. But that didn’t make her sick did it?
“Do you keep in contact with her?”
Jaejoong shook his head, “I never heard from her after that.”
Yunho looked over at Jaejoong, thinking about how awful that must’ve been for him. To have his mother just up and leave without an explanation.
“How about your father? Do you get a long well with him?”
Jaejoong nodded, smiling slightly, “Yeah, we’re fine.”
“Is there ever any fighting between you two?”
“Nope we’re fine, is this all this is going to be? Me answering questions?” He asked, fidgeting in his seat.
“Not if you don’t want it to be. If there’s something you want to talk about we can talk about that.”
“I don’t have anything to say, I don’t think I need to be here.”
Yunho sighed and Dr. Sing said, “You’re friends are worried about you.”
Jaejoong nodded, running a hand through his hair, glancing over at the window, “They do that a lot.”
“Do you give them cause to worry a lot?” The woman asked.
This time Jaejoong sighed, looking out the window at the grass. He shrugged, “I just get stressed out, everyone does, everyone deals with it differently.”
“Purging’s a little different from yoga.”
Jaejoong laughed at the psychologist’s sarcasm, he nodded, “A little.”
“So why do you feel the need to purge, Jaejoong?” Dr. Sing asked.
Jaejoong shrugged, looking out the window again, “Just like everyone else does? I think I’m fat.”
Yunho frowned over at him and Dr. Sing smiled and shook her head, “See, I don’t think that’s true.”
“Why not?” Jaejoong asked, turning his head to look at the woman’s face.
She smiled knowingly, “You’re shirt’s too fitted. Now how about you tell me the real reason.”
Jaejoong looked across the room at Dr. Sing, Yunho recognized the defiant look in Jae’s eye that he’d come to know so well, “I think I’m fat,” He answered slowly and clearly.
Yunho sighed, realizing his hopes of this first session making big changes in Jaejoong’s life were foolish.
A/N: I’d write more but I’ve got to get some sort of sleep tonight (or should I say this morning). Keep me updated on your thoughts, hearing what you think really helps me write :) I hope everyone has a good night! -Undertheblu