(no subject)
So its like 6 days tell my birthday.............
And i already got a present from my dad's exwife/girlfriend/friend/weird lady. It was a bunch of girly stuff i probley have ten of and ill never use any of them but it was still cool.
I took my cat to the vet today and found $20 on the ground. And the best daddy in the freakin world paid for my kittys shots cuz im a broke ass nukka. But yeah he is so cool and its like hes my real dad. I seiriously love that guy so much. He doesent have to be nice, he doesent have to help me out, he doesent even have to see me, but he wants to and that makes me feel good. I think your dad is the person that cares for you and loves you not the person that put sperm in your moms vagina.......... My real dad is ok too but its just different.
Then Kristin and Samantha came over. I really dont know what i would do without them. I was bouncing off the walls and acting funny because i had a nap and then like 5 sodas and no interaction with anyone except my cat for a few hours. And im sick and i think that fucked with my head too. Im always so sad when they leave. I wish i lived in Riverside. But when i get a car i can go out there all the time and it will be fine. But who knows when that will be.
Then i talked to devin for like an hour. I miss that boy so much. Hes is a really great friend and he can always make me laugh. I wish he dident move so far away. I will get to see him spring break so that will be cool.
It has been a year since i have had a boyfriend. What a loser. And tomorrow it will be a year since my last one broke up with me. Everything that happend is so blurry because i have tried to block it out and at the same time over thought about it so its just nothing anymore and i cant even remember why we broke up. I think it had something to do with me not being 110% supportive. Im not the type of person that will tell you what you want to hear, i will tell you what i really think. And usally im respected for that....But i guess that cant be right in all cases. I guess if i could take it back i would because i liked what we had but im not bitter or sad about it anymore. Its was what it was and i have to move on. Im not hanging on to the chance of anything happining with us anymore... I gave that up a long time ago. But it was nice while it lasted and im thankful and content with the relationship. I only wish we where as good of friends now as we where before we went out. But things usally get messed up when you go out with a friend. Thats the only part that still hurts relly bad. It seems crazy that i still feel like this after a YEAR. But what can you do.
Maybe its good i havent had a boyfriend in a year. To get my head on straight but i am sooooo over it now. I want a boyfriend really bad. Its hard though because im not very social. I dont meet new people very often. And i dont go to regular high school so i dont get much interaction with people/boys my age. Im kinda picky and i wouldent go out with half the people that i would "hook up" with. But all i know is that when i do get another boyfriend i am going to do alot of things differently.
I hope 2005 is going to be better than 2004 was. I know that most people where saying this about a month ago around new years but this is the first time i had really looked back on the year for what it really was. And although it had its good points i still hope this year is better.
This is the most honest entry i have written in a long time. I think it is because i am deliheriouse from lack of sleep and all the allergey pills and nyquil i have taken. I will probly regret writing half of the things i said on here when i wake up in the morning but whatever. I have about 4 hours before i have to get up. so im going to bed.
Goodnight.
<3
Gabrielle Marie