(no subject)
Whoa. God's cool. No really, he is.
Like when you are really confused and don't know what to do, he is a lamp unto your feet. Or maybe when you are restless, lonely, or afraid, you don't have to be because he is right there by your side.
I have been all of this for the longest time, and I'm not about to say that I'm not anymore, but I'm getting better. There's people in my life who have done nothing but be amazing. Thank you people. But because of this I loose sight of the glory of God as it is deflected onto them. Other people have been the opposite. blah. That brought me down, it still does, but SHUT UP! and be still! Know that he is God.
I'm not sure whether God has been waiting on me or I have been waiting on God. ? . Either way I think I found Him. About time! Man it's so good to feel Him in my heart again. tears...I think all Christians get a numb streak every once in a while, but this was more like a mean streak. I'm sad I was distracted back into this World so easily. Pray that it didn't distract my relationship with Him to an extreme.
We're just back to the basics now. Basics are good. Take it too high too fast and you'll get dizzy and fall down. Actually that's what happened to me a few minutes ago. Literally. I've been dizzy all day, thought it was b/c I was sick, nope, it was G-O-D. Anyways, foundations. When you grow tired of waiting, you try to build by yourself and fail. Vanity. When God is building your action is obedience. =D
I've made a conscience decision. You know how straight edge ppl come out and publically claim it? Well I am making it my decision to Dream higher, Draw closer, and Dig deeper. Yeah it will take a lotta work. A lotta heart ache, frustration, fatigue, and all that, but I'm sick of being who I was & I'm sure I'm not the only one (Yeah I meant God, who were you talking about meany?! j/k) I'm not asking for support or prayer though it is welcome, just understanding; that no one see me but not the changes I'm trying to make, just that person who I was, get it? Thank you.
P.S.- If anyone does need prayer, my friend Nathan prays six hours a day and he is running out of things to pray about so his email is Intercessional@aol.com.
Finally, Jill. Remember that one time at bible study where the girls and guys split up and had accountability and you shared some pretty intimate things and I was silent and t-oed? Yeah I been thinking about that and I'm sorry to you. You didn't deserve that and it wouldn't have killed me to say one thing even though it felt like it would have. idk. It may be hard for you to understand but accountability is really telling the most intimate things you hate about yourself to these girls to help you and tell you what God says to do to make it right. To tell the obvious truth I just didn't trust a couple of the girls. Not with any little tidbit about me let alone my deepest secrets bc I felt like instead of helping, guiding, and praying for me all I would have gotten was gossiped about behind my back. There's still a whole crap load of issues there that are unresolved. I hope one day they will be. I miss the very first day I met all of you-when none of this exhisted.
Like when you are really confused and don't know what to do, he is a lamp unto your feet. Or maybe when you are restless, lonely, or afraid, you don't have to be because he is right there by your side.
I have been all of this for the longest time, and I'm not about to say that I'm not anymore, but I'm getting better. There's people in my life who have done nothing but be amazing. Thank you people. But because of this I loose sight of the glory of God as it is deflected onto them. Other people have been the opposite. blah. That brought me down, it still does, but SHUT UP! and be still! Know that he is God.
I'm not sure whether God has been waiting on me or I have been waiting on God. ? . Either way I think I found Him. About time! Man it's so good to feel Him in my heart again. tears...I think all Christians get a numb streak every once in a while, but this was more like a mean streak. I'm sad I was distracted back into this World so easily. Pray that it didn't distract my relationship with Him to an extreme.
We're just back to the basics now. Basics are good. Take it too high too fast and you'll get dizzy and fall down. Actually that's what happened to me a few minutes ago. Literally. I've been dizzy all day, thought it was b/c I was sick, nope, it was G-O-D. Anyways, foundations. When you grow tired of waiting, you try to build by yourself and fail. Vanity. When God is building your action is obedience. =D
I've made a conscience decision. You know how straight edge ppl come out and publically claim it? Well I am making it my decision to Dream higher, Draw closer, and Dig deeper. Yeah it will take a lotta work. A lotta heart ache, frustration, fatigue, and all that, but I'm sick of being who I was & I'm sure I'm not the only one (Yeah I meant God, who were you talking about meany?! j/k) I'm not asking for support or prayer though it is welcome, just understanding; that no one see me but not the changes I'm trying to make, just that person who I was, get it? Thank you.
P.S.- If anyone does need prayer, my friend Nathan prays six hours a day and he is running out of things to pray about so his email is Intercessional@aol.com.
Finally, Jill. Remember that one time at bible study where the girls and guys split up and had accountability and you shared some pretty intimate things and I was silent and t-oed? Yeah I been thinking about that and I'm sorry to you. You didn't deserve that and it wouldn't have killed me to say one thing even though it felt like it would have. idk. It may be hard for you to understand but accountability is really telling the most intimate things you hate about yourself to these girls to help you and tell you what God says to do to make it right. To tell the obvious truth I just didn't trust a couple of the girls. Not with any little tidbit about me let alone my deepest secrets bc I felt like instead of helping, guiding, and praying for me all I would have gotten was gossiped about behind my back. There's still a whole crap load of issues there that are unresolved. I hope one day they will be. I miss the very first day I met all of you-when none of this exhisted.