Parachutes Chapter 8/8
Title: Parachutes Chapter 8/8
Author: Anna
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Rating: NC-17. This chapter is rated PG-13.
Summary: A throwback to the elevator conversation in 7x12 and the events that follow in an A/U sans baby. Arizona, still desperate to reconcile, continues to pursue Callie, and Callie, still hurt and angry, continues to push her away. They know they have to find their way back to each other, but first they have to figure out how.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. They are property of Shonda Rhimes, ShondaLand, and ABC. This story is intended for entertainment purposes only and I do not profit from it.
A/N: It's done!!! Thank you so much to everyone who has read and reviewed. Thanks especially to my beyond-fantastic beta, hylen, for listening to me blather on and on, reading everything I throw at her, imparting her infinite wisdom, and being generally awesome. I hope you all enjoy this chapter and feel that it wraps up the story in a realistic and, well, good, way. I already have several new plot bunnies in my brain clamoring for attention, both in canon (I know, right?) and in this little 'verse I seem to have created, so keep your eyes open for them!
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
In this chapter: Understandings are come to, Chinese food is eaten, sleep is attained at last, and everything comes full circle.
Callie’s first thought upon waking up naked in bed next to Arizona was that she had been doing exactly that for the past five months. Everything, from the sun peeking in through the window to Arizona breathing evenly beside her, almost allowed her to forget everything the two of them had been through and how much farther they still had to go.
Her second thought was “I left my phone and pager across the hall and I have no idea what time it is. Shit!”
Reluctantly, she disentangled herself from the sheets, which she recognized as her own. After their shower the night before, they had changed the sheets, replacing Arizona’s old ones with these. Callie had been too tired at the time to process anything fully, but now she realized that these had been the main set of sheets on their bed when they had lived together. Even as she shivered when the chilly February morning air hit her bare body, Callie smiled. She couldn’t help but feel as though things were slowly falling back into place. Just yesterday, she had considered the whole Arizona situation utterly hopeless and was so steeped in her own pain that she’d almost had them both believing she honestly never wanted to see Arizona again. And now? Now they were here together. They had talked, they had cried, they had made love, they had made strides. Callie was still apprehensive and proceeding with caution, but she was happy, confident in her love for Arizona, and -
Probably late for work. Crap.
Callie stood up from the bed and set about gathering her clothes. She paused after pulling on her pants to watch Arizona. She had so missed being able to do this. When Arizona slept, all traces of stress, pain, and fear disappeared. She had her nightmares, of course - who didn’t? - but Callie had always delighted in being there to cuddle them away. This morning, Arizona looked even more content than usual, her face smooth and cast in the glow of the soft morning sun. There was no doubt in Callie’s mind that Arizona had found a part of herself last night. It saddened her to think about just how long it had probably been missing, but she was glad she’d been able to help her relocate it. She just hoped it was here to stay. Callie’s heart swelled with love as she gazed upon this woman. She was so, so glad she was back.
After putting on her bra and shirt and giving up on ever finding her socks again, Callie knelt on the floor by Arizona’s head. She hated to wake her up, but she didn’t want her to wake up later and not know where Callie was.
“Arizona,” Callie whispered, brushing a wisp of hair from her forehead. “Wake up.”
“Huh?” Arizona mumbled, still mostly asleep. Her eyelids fluttered but didn’t open.
Callie chuckled. “Are you awake?”
“Nooo,” Arizona whined. “Sleeping. Tired.”
“You can go back to sleep,” Callie promised. “I just wanted to tell you I have to go.”
Arizona opened her eyes, suddenly more alert. “What? Why?”
“I have no idea what time it is. I think I have to go to work,” she explained, brushing her fingertips across Arizona’s forehead. “What are you doing today? Are you on the schedule?”
“Yeah,” Arizona sighed, finally resigning herself to waking up. “I’m starting my shift at two.”
“I guess I’ll see you there in a little while, then,” Callie said. She didn’t know what time it was, but it definitely wasn’t close to two o’clock in the afternoon yet. “But right now I really do have to go. We’ll catch up later, okay?”
“Okay,” Arizona replied. As Callie moved to get up, she added, “Hey. I love you.”
“Love you, too,” Callie murmured as she leaned down to kiss Arizona. “Seriously, why don’t you go back to sleep for a little while? You’ve got some time before your shift, I think.”
“Mm, good idea,” she agreed, sinking back down into the pillows. “I’ll see you later. Go be a rock star.” Callie’s heart soared at those words. They were on their way back.
***
“Where have you been?” Mark was making coffee at the breakfast bar when Callie walked in.
“Holy shit, Mark!” Callie cried, clutching her chest. “You want to warn a person before you sneak up on them like that?”
“This is my apartment and I’m right out in the open. I’ve been here for hours. Seriously, where were you? Why are you barefoot? Are those the same clothes you were wearing yesterday? Were you -” He cut his eyes toward the door. “You were with Arizona!”
“Mark! Yes, I was with Arizona. We talked. It was really good.”
“And?”
“And what?”
“Which set of lips did you use to do the talking?”
“Mark!” Callie smacked him on the back of the head. “Not that it’s any of your business, but…both.”
Mark set his coffee mug down on the bar and sat on a stool, all traces of playfulness suddenly gone from his face. “Whoa, wait, really? Yesterday you said -”
“I know what I said. Arizona and I both said things we shouldn’t have said. But last night we both said everything we should have said to each other a long time ago.”
“Such as?”
“Such as things that are between me and Arizona.”
“Come on,” Mark whined. “What did she say?”
“It doesn’t matter. She opened up to me and really trusted me, Mark. I’m not going to betray that.”
“It does matter!” he insisted. “She hurt you! I was there, Cal. I saw you. You were broken. She broke you. So, yeah, it matters!”
“You think I don’t know that?” Callie replied. “Look, I don’t expect you to understand. It’s just…this feels right.”
Mark took a long drag from his coffee mug and studied Callie over the rim. Aside from sporting the telltale look of a person who’d had sex recently, he had to admit that Callie looked better than she had in a long time. The scowl that had seemed to have taken up permanent residence on her face was gone. She carried herself as though a heavy weight had literally been lifted from her shoulders, and there was a light in her eyes Mark hadn’t seen in months.
“It looks like it feels right,” he conceded. “I’m happy for you. But if she hurts you again, don’t think I won’t destroy her.”
Callie nodded. “Thank you.” Then she remembered why she was here in the first place. “Shit. What time is it?”
Mark glanced at his watch. “Almost ten. You on today?”
Callie sighed in relief. “Yeah, at ten-thirty. I need to change.” She picked out a new outfit from the suitcase next to the couch and started to head into the bathroom.
“Wait, where are you going?”
“Look,” Callie said. “Arizona and I aren’t officially back together, but I respect her and care about her feelings. You seeing me naked makes her uncomfortable.”
“What? Why?” Mark asked, even as Callie closed the bathroom door. “It’s not like anything’s going on. I mean, even when we were -”
“That’s not the point,” Callie called out through the door. She picked her next words carefully, determined both to make Mark understand and not to repeat anything Arizona had said. “She deserves to feel special. She’s important to me and I’ve sucked at showing her that.”
“Okay, so what are you if you’re not officially together?” Mark still didn’t completely understand why Arizona had such a problem with him, but he could mostly see what Callie meant. If she and Arizona were in love, he supposed they deserved to be the most important people in each other’s lives. Plus, he figured, it couldn’t hurt to give Lexie less to worry about.
“We’re not…not together,” Callie replied, emerging from the bathroom. “If it’s okay with you, I’ll probably stay here a little while longer. You know, spend the night at Arizona’s but not move back in yet. We haven’t really talked about it, but we’re going to take it slow, I think.”
“But you slept together already,” Mark clarified.
Callie pulled on her jacket and boots. “Yeah.”
“Well, good. Now that that’s out of the way, there’s plenty of time to take it slow.” Callie just shook her head and headed out the door.
Once Mark was sure Callie was out of earshot, he crossed the hallway and knocked on what was apparently now Arizona’s door. When he didn’t hear anything after a minute or so, he knocked louder. Finally, he heard some sleepy-sounding shuffling and fumbling, and a disheveled Arizona, clad in a tank top and a pair of flannel pajama pants, opened the door.
She probably would have been less surprised if Cristina Yang had been standing in front of her. “Um, hi.”
“Hey. I just wanted to tell you I’m happy for you and Callie.”
“Oh! Um, thank you.” Since learning that he and Callie had slept together recently, Arizona found herself resenting him a little more than usual, especially after his attempts at advice yesterday.
“But if you ever hurt her again,” he continued, “I will perform a very unfortunate facial reconstruction.”
“And if you sleep with her again, I’ll castrate you,” Arizona said without missing a beat. “Deal?”
“Deal.” Mark extended his hand for Arizona to shake, which she did. He shifted a little on his feet. “Uh, I guess I’ll see you.” He turned to leave.
“Mark, wait.” He turned around. “I need to know. Yesterday, when you were giving me advice about my flaws and how to get Callie to take me back, was that…were you just being nice to me because you and Callie slept together and you felt sorry for me?”
“What? No.”
“Then…then why?”
“Because I know how much you two love each other, even though Callie was too stubborn to realize it. Look, you deserve to be together. Just…don’t hurt her again.”
“I plan to spend the rest of my life making sure that doesn’t happen.”
***
It was nearly five o’clock before Callie had a chance to get off her feet. After rushing into the hospital mere seconds before her shift started, she had gone on rounds and performed a surgery immediately afterward. She had planned to take a break for lunch then, but she’d gotten slammed when a car carrying four friends had skidded on ice and hit a tree. She’d had to operate on three of them, and one of them went into cardiac arrest on the table and didn’t make it. Callie had been at work for six and a half hours, had lost a patient, and hadn’t eaten or sat down. She still had another five and a half hours left on the clock and all she wanted was to collapse and sleep until sometime next week.
The attendings’ lounge was just that much closer to the O.R. she’d just come out of, and she was unwilling to walk the extra five minutes to an on-call room. She was glad to find the lounge empty. The last thing she wanted was to make polite conversation with people she didn’t particularly feel like talking to. If she let herself think about it, she did hope she’d cross paths with Arizona, but she wanted to be careful not to fall into the habit of needing to see her too often. She had a feeling that wasn’t part of taking it slow. Instead, Callie settled for sliding her cell phone out of her lab coat pocket and typing a text message to Addison: U were right. Communication rox. Then she rested her head against the arm of the couch and fell asleep so quickly she wasn’t even aware of it happening.
“…coffee will get cold.” The vague end to a sentence she hadn’t processed roused Callie from her slumber. Once again, she didn’t know how long she had been asleep, but judging by the still-empty lounge and the light through the window not having changed much, she figured it couldn’t have been long. As tempting as it was to ignore the nonsense and fall back to sleep, the mention of coffee had piqued her interest. Also, the voice had sounded a lot like - “Callie. Calliope. Wake up.”
“’M awake,” she mumbled. “Arizona?”
“Hi,” Arizona confirmed. “Seriously, wake up. There’s coffee and it really will get cold if you don’t wake up and drink it.”
Callie yawned and made the sleepy sighing noise that Arizona found positively adorable. “I’m awake. Give me coffee.”
Arizona laughed. “I saw your name all over the board and April said you’ve been busy all day. I figured you’d be exhausted.” She held up the coffee cup, and Callie realized with a pang in her heart that it was not a coffee cup from the hospital. It was real coffee, real, good coffee, that had come from the cart the next block over.
“Arizona, thank you. You didn’t have to do that.”
“Well, it was on the way back from the Chinese place. I figured you’d be hungry, too.” She motioned to the table behind her, where she’d placed a bag from the Chinese restaurant she and Callie used to frequent. The gesture was so simple, but it warmed Callie from the inside out.
“Come sit. You free for a little while?”
Arizona checked her watch and nodded. “I’ve got a bowel repair in an hour. When do you finish?”
“Ugh. A million hours from now. You?”
Arizona laughed, grabbing the bag of food and sitting down beside Callie on the couch. “I’m done at eight tomorrow morning, so…a million and one.”
“That sucks.”
“Mm. Egg roll?” Callie took the proffered egg roll and took a big bite, moaning in satisfaction when the flavor registered in her mouth.
“I didn’t realize how hungry I was,” she said around mouthfuls of food. “This is amazing.” Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Arizona smile brightly.
For several minutes, they ate in a companionable silence broken only by the sounds of chewing and swallowing. Arizona’s mind, however, was racing a mile a minute. She had something she wanted to say to Callie, but she was afraid to say it and was trying valiantly to organize her thoughts into coherent sentences that Callie would take the right way. Arizona had done everything right since arriving at Callie’s door last night. She’d opened herself up to Callie, had made herself vulnerable in so many ways. She’d trusted, she’d faced her fears, and she’d communicated. Still, there was that little part of her that was terrified to mess up. That was the part of her that worried ceaselessly that the next thing she did would cause someone to be disappointed in her or make Callie turn around and leave her forever. It was the part that had singlehandedly decided to move to Africa for three years and the part that hated her brother’s guts because he’d left her when she’d needed him. She needed help to make that part of her diminish in size until it disappeared altogether, and for the first time in her life, she was not only recognizing that that part wasn’t the only part of her, but she was accepting the notion that asking for help would be okay.
“Calliope?”
“Hmm?”
“I’ve been thinking.”
Callie froze, her mouth full of noodles. Oh god. Oh crap. Chew, swallow, don’t choke, don’t panic. She couldn’t read the expression on Arizona’s face or the tone of her voice, and she didn’t know whether Arizona had been doing the kind of thinking that meant she was having second thoughts about working on getting back together. Had last night been too much for her? Was she going to say she’d decided to go back to Malawi? Callie’s heart began to race and she swallowed her food with an uncomfortable gulp. Unable to speak, she gave Arizona a look that indicated she should continue. Whether she’d actually managed not to express her sudden gripping fear, she wasn’t sure.
“I think…I think maybe we should try going to couples’ counseling.” Arizona saw the shock on Callie’s face at this unexpected turn of events and pressed on before Callie could interrupt. “It’s just…I know things are going really well now, even though it’s only been a day, and I really do think we can make this work, but there are still things I’m freaked out about, and sometimes I just feel like I don’t know how to talk about them. And I know I can talk to you about anything - last night helped me realize that - but sometimes I just get so scared that I don’t even know what to say. We’re getting better at communicating, I know we are, but I love you and I want to be with you and I want to be absolutely sure that I - that we don’t make the same mistakes we made before.”
Callie was silent for a long moment and Arizona watched her with cold fear in her heart, almost certain that at any second Callie would scoff at her, call her crazy, and walk out of the room.
Finally, she spoke. “I missed hearing you babble like that.”
Arizona made a sound that was part relieved laugh and part choked cry. “What?”
“Even when you talk all fast and rambly like that, somehow I still know exactly what you’re saying.”
“So…”
“So, yeah. I agree. We should go.”
“Oh. Oh, good.”
Callie laughed. “Yeah, good. It may not seem like it, Arizona, but I’m still freaked out too. You know, are you going to leave for Africa or, I don’t know, Australia, tomorrow, are we going to fight about kids again…that kind of thing. I think it’ll be good for us. Just one condition.”
“What’s that?”
“We see a counselor outside the hospital. We don’t need everyone knowing what we’re doing.”
Arizona laughed. “Agreed.” She then remembered the other thing she wanted to say. “Hey, where are you going to sleep tonight?”
“Tonight? In your bed without you.”
“Meanie.”
“It’ll be nice and warm when you come back in the morning. But you meant ‘where am I going to live now,’ didn’t you?”
“Um…yeah.”
Callie took a deep breath. “I think it would be best if I didn’t officially move back in yet. We should take things one step at a time.”
Arizona nodded. “That makes sense.”
“Are you sure you’re okay with that? I mean, I’ll spend most nights with you anyway, but if me living with Mark makes you uncomfortable, then -”
“No, no, it’s fine.”
“Are you sure?”
Arizona chuckled. “I’m sure, Calliope.”
Callie extended the arm closest to Arizona. “Come here.” Arizona complied, moving closer to Callie and leaning against her, tucking her head into the crook of Callie’s neck. She sighed contentedly. “You’re pretty amazing, Arizona.”
“Not that I’ll ever get tired of hearing that, but…why exactly?”
Callie chuckled, and it rumbled through Arizona’s body. “Facing your fears head-on like this. Talking to me about what’s on your mind. I know that’s hard for you. Bringing me coffee and Chinese food. Oh, and winning an insanely prestigious grant for being all smart and talented. I’m proud of you.”
Arizona beamed despite the sudden tears welling up in her eyes. “You are?”
“I am. My brave, talented, hardcore, beautiful…”
“Girlfriend?” Arizona supplied hopefully.
Callie smiled. “Something like that.”
Arizona giggled and snuggled deeper into Callie. This, right here, was all she ever wanted. It was the most perfect imperfection she’d ever known, and she couldn’t dream of it being better any other way.
“You’re my parachute,” Arizona said, her voice slightly muffled by Callie’s shoulder.
“I’m your…what?”
“I’ve always been afraid to take leaps. Every moment with you has been like jumping out of an airplane. It steals the breath from my lungs and it usually still terrifies the crap out of me. But I realized, Calliope, that as long as I’m jumping with you, I don’t need to be terrified, because you are my parachute, and with you I will always land safely.”
Callie hugged Arizona tighter, resting her cheek against the top of Arizona’s head. “You’re my parachute, too.”
Arizona looked up at Callie, eyes twinkling, and raised her head for a kiss. Their lips met softly and surely in a sweet yet passionate kiss.
Jumping out of an airplane had never been more rewarding.
Author: Anna
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Rating: NC-17. This chapter is rated PG-13.
Summary: A throwback to the elevator conversation in 7x12 and the events that follow in an A/U sans baby. Arizona, still desperate to reconcile, continues to pursue Callie, and Callie, still hurt and angry, continues to push her away. They know they have to find their way back to each other, but first they have to figure out how.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. They are property of Shonda Rhimes, ShondaLand, and ABC. This story is intended for entertainment purposes only and I do not profit from it.
A/N: It's done!!! Thank you so much to everyone who has read and reviewed. Thanks especially to my beyond-fantastic beta, hylen, for listening to me blather on and on, reading everything I throw at her, imparting her infinite wisdom, and being generally awesome. I hope you all enjoy this chapter and feel that it wraps up the story in a realistic and, well, good, way. I already have several new plot bunnies in my brain clamoring for attention, both in canon (I know, right?) and in this little 'verse I seem to have created, so keep your eyes open for them!
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
In this chapter: Understandings are come to, Chinese food is eaten, sleep is attained at last, and everything comes full circle.
Callie’s first thought upon waking up naked in bed next to Arizona was that she had been doing exactly that for the past five months. Everything, from the sun peeking in through the window to Arizona breathing evenly beside her, almost allowed her to forget everything the two of them had been through and how much farther they still had to go.
Her second thought was “I left my phone and pager across the hall and I have no idea what time it is. Shit!”
Reluctantly, she disentangled herself from the sheets, which she recognized as her own. After their shower the night before, they had changed the sheets, replacing Arizona’s old ones with these. Callie had been too tired at the time to process anything fully, but now she realized that these had been the main set of sheets on their bed when they had lived together. Even as she shivered when the chilly February morning air hit her bare body, Callie smiled. She couldn’t help but feel as though things were slowly falling back into place. Just yesterday, she had considered the whole Arizona situation utterly hopeless and was so steeped in her own pain that she’d almost had them both believing she honestly never wanted to see Arizona again. And now? Now they were here together. They had talked, they had cried, they had made love, they had made strides. Callie was still apprehensive and proceeding with caution, but she was happy, confident in her love for Arizona, and -
Probably late for work. Crap.
Callie stood up from the bed and set about gathering her clothes. She paused after pulling on her pants to watch Arizona. She had so missed being able to do this. When Arizona slept, all traces of stress, pain, and fear disappeared. She had her nightmares, of course - who didn’t? - but Callie had always delighted in being there to cuddle them away. This morning, Arizona looked even more content than usual, her face smooth and cast in the glow of the soft morning sun. There was no doubt in Callie’s mind that Arizona had found a part of herself last night. It saddened her to think about just how long it had probably been missing, but she was glad she’d been able to help her relocate it. She just hoped it was here to stay. Callie’s heart swelled with love as she gazed upon this woman. She was so, so glad she was back.
After putting on her bra and shirt and giving up on ever finding her socks again, Callie knelt on the floor by Arizona’s head. She hated to wake her up, but she didn’t want her to wake up later and not know where Callie was.
“Arizona,” Callie whispered, brushing a wisp of hair from her forehead. “Wake up.”
“Huh?” Arizona mumbled, still mostly asleep. Her eyelids fluttered but didn’t open.
Callie chuckled. “Are you awake?”
“Nooo,” Arizona whined. “Sleeping. Tired.”
“You can go back to sleep,” Callie promised. “I just wanted to tell you I have to go.”
Arizona opened her eyes, suddenly more alert. “What? Why?”
“I have no idea what time it is. I think I have to go to work,” she explained, brushing her fingertips across Arizona’s forehead. “What are you doing today? Are you on the schedule?”
“Yeah,” Arizona sighed, finally resigning herself to waking up. “I’m starting my shift at two.”
“I guess I’ll see you there in a little while, then,” Callie said. She didn’t know what time it was, but it definitely wasn’t close to two o’clock in the afternoon yet. “But right now I really do have to go. We’ll catch up later, okay?”
“Okay,” Arizona replied. As Callie moved to get up, she added, “Hey. I love you.”
“Love you, too,” Callie murmured as she leaned down to kiss Arizona. “Seriously, why don’t you go back to sleep for a little while? You’ve got some time before your shift, I think.”
“Mm, good idea,” she agreed, sinking back down into the pillows. “I’ll see you later. Go be a rock star.” Callie’s heart soared at those words. They were on their way back.
***
“Where have you been?” Mark was making coffee at the breakfast bar when Callie walked in.
“Holy shit, Mark!” Callie cried, clutching her chest. “You want to warn a person before you sneak up on them like that?”
“This is my apartment and I’m right out in the open. I’ve been here for hours. Seriously, where were you? Why are you barefoot? Are those the same clothes you were wearing yesterday? Were you -” He cut his eyes toward the door. “You were with Arizona!”
“Mark! Yes, I was with Arizona. We talked. It was really good.”
“And?”
“And what?”
“Which set of lips did you use to do the talking?”
“Mark!” Callie smacked him on the back of the head. “Not that it’s any of your business, but…both.”
Mark set his coffee mug down on the bar and sat on a stool, all traces of playfulness suddenly gone from his face. “Whoa, wait, really? Yesterday you said -”
“I know what I said. Arizona and I both said things we shouldn’t have said. But last night we both said everything we should have said to each other a long time ago.”
“Such as?”
“Such as things that are between me and Arizona.”
“Come on,” Mark whined. “What did she say?”
“It doesn’t matter. She opened up to me and really trusted me, Mark. I’m not going to betray that.”
“It does matter!” he insisted. “She hurt you! I was there, Cal. I saw you. You were broken. She broke you. So, yeah, it matters!”
“You think I don’t know that?” Callie replied. “Look, I don’t expect you to understand. It’s just…this feels right.”
Mark took a long drag from his coffee mug and studied Callie over the rim. Aside from sporting the telltale look of a person who’d had sex recently, he had to admit that Callie looked better than she had in a long time. The scowl that had seemed to have taken up permanent residence on her face was gone. She carried herself as though a heavy weight had literally been lifted from her shoulders, and there was a light in her eyes Mark hadn’t seen in months.
“It looks like it feels right,” he conceded. “I’m happy for you. But if she hurts you again, don’t think I won’t destroy her.”
Callie nodded. “Thank you.” Then she remembered why she was here in the first place. “Shit. What time is it?”
Mark glanced at his watch. “Almost ten. You on today?”
Callie sighed in relief. “Yeah, at ten-thirty. I need to change.” She picked out a new outfit from the suitcase next to the couch and started to head into the bathroom.
“Wait, where are you going?”
“Look,” Callie said. “Arizona and I aren’t officially back together, but I respect her and care about her feelings. You seeing me naked makes her uncomfortable.”
“What? Why?” Mark asked, even as Callie closed the bathroom door. “It’s not like anything’s going on. I mean, even when we were -”
“That’s not the point,” Callie called out through the door. She picked her next words carefully, determined both to make Mark understand and not to repeat anything Arizona had said. “She deserves to feel special. She’s important to me and I’ve sucked at showing her that.”
“Okay, so what are you if you’re not officially together?” Mark still didn’t completely understand why Arizona had such a problem with him, but he could mostly see what Callie meant. If she and Arizona were in love, he supposed they deserved to be the most important people in each other’s lives. Plus, he figured, it couldn’t hurt to give Lexie less to worry about.
“We’re not…not together,” Callie replied, emerging from the bathroom. “If it’s okay with you, I’ll probably stay here a little while longer. You know, spend the night at Arizona’s but not move back in yet. We haven’t really talked about it, but we’re going to take it slow, I think.”
“But you slept together already,” Mark clarified.
Callie pulled on her jacket and boots. “Yeah.”
“Well, good. Now that that’s out of the way, there’s plenty of time to take it slow.” Callie just shook her head and headed out the door.
Once Mark was sure Callie was out of earshot, he crossed the hallway and knocked on what was apparently now Arizona’s door. When he didn’t hear anything after a minute or so, he knocked louder. Finally, he heard some sleepy-sounding shuffling and fumbling, and a disheveled Arizona, clad in a tank top and a pair of flannel pajama pants, opened the door.
She probably would have been less surprised if Cristina Yang had been standing in front of her. “Um, hi.”
“Hey. I just wanted to tell you I’m happy for you and Callie.”
“Oh! Um, thank you.” Since learning that he and Callie had slept together recently, Arizona found herself resenting him a little more than usual, especially after his attempts at advice yesterday.
“But if you ever hurt her again,” he continued, “I will perform a very unfortunate facial reconstruction.”
“And if you sleep with her again, I’ll castrate you,” Arizona said without missing a beat. “Deal?”
“Deal.” Mark extended his hand for Arizona to shake, which she did. He shifted a little on his feet. “Uh, I guess I’ll see you.” He turned to leave.
“Mark, wait.” He turned around. “I need to know. Yesterday, when you were giving me advice about my flaws and how to get Callie to take me back, was that…were you just being nice to me because you and Callie slept together and you felt sorry for me?”
“What? No.”
“Then…then why?”
“Because I know how much you two love each other, even though Callie was too stubborn to realize it. Look, you deserve to be together. Just…don’t hurt her again.”
“I plan to spend the rest of my life making sure that doesn’t happen.”
***
It was nearly five o’clock before Callie had a chance to get off her feet. After rushing into the hospital mere seconds before her shift started, she had gone on rounds and performed a surgery immediately afterward. She had planned to take a break for lunch then, but she’d gotten slammed when a car carrying four friends had skidded on ice and hit a tree. She’d had to operate on three of them, and one of them went into cardiac arrest on the table and didn’t make it. Callie had been at work for six and a half hours, had lost a patient, and hadn’t eaten or sat down. She still had another five and a half hours left on the clock and all she wanted was to collapse and sleep until sometime next week.
The attendings’ lounge was just that much closer to the O.R. she’d just come out of, and she was unwilling to walk the extra five minutes to an on-call room. She was glad to find the lounge empty. The last thing she wanted was to make polite conversation with people she didn’t particularly feel like talking to. If she let herself think about it, she did hope she’d cross paths with Arizona, but she wanted to be careful not to fall into the habit of needing to see her too often. She had a feeling that wasn’t part of taking it slow. Instead, Callie settled for sliding her cell phone out of her lab coat pocket and typing a text message to Addison: U were right. Communication rox. Then she rested her head against the arm of the couch and fell asleep so quickly she wasn’t even aware of it happening.
“…coffee will get cold.” The vague end to a sentence she hadn’t processed roused Callie from her slumber. Once again, she didn’t know how long she had been asleep, but judging by the still-empty lounge and the light through the window not having changed much, she figured it couldn’t have been long. As tempting as it was to ignore the nonsense and fall back to sleep, the mention of coffee had piqued her interest. Also, the voice had sounded a lot like - “Callie. Calliope. Wake up.”
“’M awake,” she mumbled. “Arizona?”
“Hi,” Arizona confirmed. “Seriously, wake up. There’s coffee and it really will get cold if you don’t wake up and drink it.”
Callie yawned and made the sleepy sighing noise that Arizona found positively adorable. “I’m awake. Give me coffee.”
Arizona laughed. “I saw your name all over the board and April said you’ve been busy all day. I figured you’d be exhausted.” She held up the coffee cup, and Callie realized with a pang in her heart that it was not a coffee cup from the hospital. It was real coffee, real, good coffee, that had come from the cart the next block over.
“Arizona, thank you. You didn’t have to do that.”
“Well, it was on the way back from the Chinese place. I figured you’d be hungry, too.” She motioned to the table behind her, where she’d placed a bag from the Chinese restaurant she and Callie used to frequent. The gesture was so simple, but it warmed Callie from the inside out.
“Come sit. You free for a little while?”
Arizona checked her watch and nodded. “I’ve got a bowel repair in an hour. When do you finish?”
“Ugh. A million hours from now. You?”
Arizona laughed, grabbing the bag of food and sitting down beside Callie on the couch. “I’m done at eight tomorrow morning, so…a million and one.”
“That sucks.”
“Mm. Egg roll?” Callie took the proffered egg roll and took a big bite, moaning in satisfaction when the flavor registered in her mouth.
“I didn’t realize how hungry I was,” she said around mouthfuls of food. “This is amazing.” Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Arizona smile brightly.
For several minutes, they ate in a companionable silence broken only by the sounds of chewing and swallowing. Arizona’s mind, however, was racing a mile a minute. She had something she wanted to say to Callie, but she was afraid to say it and was trying valiantly to organize her thoughts into coherent sentences that Callie would take the right way. Arizona had done everything right since arriving at Callie’s door last night. She’d opened herself up to Callie, had made herself vulnerable in so many ways. She’d trusted, she’d faced her fears, and she’d communicated. Still, there was that little part of her that was terrified to mess up. That was the part of her that worried ceaselessly that the next thing she did would cause someone to be disappointed in her or make Callie turn around and leave her forever. It was the part that had singlehandedly decided to move to Africa for three years and the part that hated her brother’s guts because he’d left her when she’d needed him. She needed help to make that part of her diminish in size until it disappeared altogether, and for the first time in her life, she was not only recognizing that that part wasn’t the only part of her, but she was accepting the notion that asking for help would be okay.
“Calliope?”
“Hmm?”
“I’ve been thinking.”
Callie froze, her mouth full of noodles. Oh god. Oh crap. Chew, swallow, don’t choke, don’t panic. She couldn’t read the expression on Arizona’s face or the tone of her voice, and she didn’t know whether Arizona had been doing the kind of thinking that meant she was having second thoughts about working on getting back together. Had last night been too much for her? Was she going to say she’d decided to go back to Malawi? Callie’s heart began to race and she swallowed her food with an uncomfortable gulp. Unable to speak, she gave Arizona a look that indicated she should continue. Whether she’d actually managed not to express her sudden gripping fear, she wasn’t sure.
“I think…I think maybe we should try going to couples’ counseling.” Arizona saw the shock on Callie’s face at this unexpected turn of events and pressed on before Callie could interrupt. “It’s just…I know things are going really well now, even though it’s only been a day, and I really do think we can make this work, but there are still things I’m freaked out about, and sometimes I just feel like I don’t know how to talk about them. And I know I can talk to you about anything - last night helped me realize that - but sometimes I just get so scared that I don’t even know what to say. We’re getting better at communicating, I know we are, but I love you and I want to be with you and I want to be absolutely sure that I - that we don’t make the same mistakes we made before.”
Callie was silent for a long moment and Arizona watched her with cold fear in her heart, almost certain that at any second Callie would scoff at her, call her crazy, and walk out of the room.
Finally, she spoke. “I missed hearing you babble like that.”
Arizona made a sound that was part relieved laugh and part choked cry. “What?”
“Even when you talk all fast and rambly like that, somehow I still know exactly what you’re saying.”
“So…”
“So, yeah. I agree. We should go.”
“Oh. Oh, good.”
Callie laughed. “Yeah, good. It may not seem like it, Arizona, but I’m still freaked out too. You know, are you going to leave for Africa or, I don’t know, Australia, tomorrow, are we going to fight about kids again…that kind of thing. I think it’ll be good for us. Just one condition.”
“What’s that?”
“We see a counselor outside the hospital. We don’t need everyone knowing what we’re doing.”
Arizona laughed. “Agreed.” She then remembered the other thing she wanted to say. “Hey, where are you going to sleep tonight?”
“Tonight? In your bed without you.”
“Meanie.”
“It’ll be nice and warm when you come back in the morning. But you meant ‘where am I going to live now,’ didn’t you?”
“Um…yeah.”
Callie took a deep breath. “I think it would be best if I didn’t officially move back in yet. We should take things one step at a time.”
Arizona nodded. “That makes sense.”
“Are you sure you’re okay with that? I mean, I’ll spend most nights with you anyway, but if me living with Mark makes you uncomfortable, then -”
“No, no, it’s fine.”
“Are you sure?”
Arizona chuckled. “I’m sure, Calliope.”
Callie extended the arm closest to Arizona. “Come here.” Arizona complied, moving closer to Callie and leaning against her, tucking her head into the crook of Callie’s neck. She sighed contentedly. “You’re pretty amazing, Arizona.”
“Not that I’ll ever get tired of hearing that, but…why exactly?”
Callie chuckled, and it rumbled through Arizona’s body. “Facing your fears head-on like this. Talking to me about what’s on your mind. I know that’s hard for you. Bringing me coffee and Chinese food. Oh, and winning an insanely prestigious grant for being all smart and talented. I’m proud of you.”
Arizona beamed despite the sudden tears welling up in her eyes. “You are?”
“I am. My brave, talented, hardcore, beautiful…”
“Girlfriend?” Arizona supplied hopefully.
Callie smiled. “Something like that.”
Arizona giggled and snuggled deeper into Callie. This, right here, was all she ever wanted. It was the most perfect imperfection she’d ever known, and she couldn’t dream of it being better any other way.
“You’re my parachute,” Arizona said, her voice slightly muffled by Callie’s shoulder.
“I’m your…what?”
“I’ve always been afraid to take leaps. Every moment with you has been like jumping out of an airplane. It steals the breath from my lungs and it usually still terrifies the crap out of me. But I realized, Calliope, that as long as I’m jumping with you, I don’t need to be terrified, because you are my parachute, and with you I will always land safely.”
Callie hugged Arizona tighter, resting her cheek against the top of Arizona’s head. “You’re my parachute, too.”
Arizona looked up at Callie, eyes twinkling, and raised her head for a kiss. Their lips met softly and surely in a sweet yet passionate kiss.
Jumping out of an airplane had never been more rewarding.