Letters to Mom

[underscore1087]

So I'm sitting here thinking about how rediculously fucked my mom is. And how I can not after 16 almost 17 years of being on this earth, why she has chosen not to be in my life. I think it's definetly one of the worst things a person can do. I really honestly just... I don't know why she is never around. I hate it. I hate the fact that everyone has at least one parent in their lives. I don't have any. I am living wiht my grandparents and uncle. But no mother or father. And I just don't understand why my mom isnt around. I even asked her if it was something I did to make her not be aroudn. I can't talk to anyone in my family about it, beccause they're all sick of my mom, and they are sick of the fact that she treats me the way she does. I have so many unanswered questions for my mom. It just sucks. I was thinking about my insurance thing for my car... and, all my friends have their parents to help them out, and the fact that they are insured under their parents anyway... helps them. But me on the other hand. I have to completely be on my own for this one. I've pretty much been on my own since I turned 13. i've worked for everything that i have. I don't have mommy and daddy to hand me everything. It really hurts to know that she isn't around, and that it's by choice that she isnt here. This is something I won't forget. But I know I will have to get over. Me and her as far as Im concerned are just... done. And I have to face that fact... that I don't have parents. I've pushed that feeling down inside for so long, and now.. I just need to bring it out and finally let it go. It's the only way I can be sane. There are thousands of tears behind my eyes right now.. but I just... cnat let them out.. The won't come out... I don't know... this is just... it..

Mom. I tried. And that's all I can do. I can't do anymore, other than say that you've missed out on knowing a good kid, and a fun chick.