(Untitled)

[underpaidbagboy]

i don't know if you'll read this but i need to say it somewhere and i wanted you to know that i don't hate you, i can't blame you for anything, and we gave eachother false hope, but sometimes false hope works better than none at all. You don't need me in your life making things more complicated and harder for you, and even though i don't like it,

Comments

hi

[lildithy]

I’m hoping you get notified by email somehow about this or something... And please don’t feel like you have to reply or even read this if you don’t want to…as I realize hearing from me after all this time could very well just piss you off... I don’t know how else to go about trying to get in touch with you. I’ve been doing a lot a lot a lot of re-evaluating of my life as of late and I’ve gone back through old journal entries (here and other places) and just tried to make sense of things that at the time surely didn’t make sense. I wanted to apologize to you, Kyle, for what happened to our friendship. We should’ve handled the day we met very differently and maybe if we had, we could’ve continued being friends. I don’t even remember much of our conversations after the day we met in person, except that I know I hurt you, I let you down. It was at a time in your life when it seemed like I was your only bright spot. And if I didn’t express it then, I wanted to make sure you knew that I was sorry. I am sorry. I’ve thought about you often over the years, worried about you joining the Marines, and just wondered where life had led you. I reread what you wrote here in this entry recently and it really made me want to try to reach out, just to let you know that I hold no hard feelings or anger towards you. I had way too much going on in my life then and I’m sorry for the way I handled things. I hate thinking that I ruined our friendship and pushed you away, when you had been one of my favorite people to talk to. I hope you’re doing well. I really wish you all the best things in life. If you want to catch up or anything, drop a reply sometime.
(Or if you lost access to your LJ account like I did and don’t feel like begging someone at LJ with a blood oath and a promise to give them your firstborn child like I did to regain access, my email is shootmystars@gmail.com)