(no subject)
just another pig
i wish that i could just dive into her head and swim in her thoughts. i wish that i could take a step back, look at myself from 3rd person, and talk shit at myself with the stupid situation i put myself into. for the first time in life, i'm afraid to lose. my hope is gone. even if it was a mistake, it still happened, and it shouldn't have. i did screw up, and i seem to do that a lot.
i wish i knew what was going to happen from all this. i want to pretend that jana and i will live happily ever after with more then i could ever ask for in a relationship. i want to try and remember how crazy she was about me just a week ago, and i want to take away the total mind fuck she's going threw because of me right now.
honestly, she deserves a awesome guy. she's a fun girl. she's a smart girl. she's a deep girl. she's more of a girl then i would have ever thought i could spend time with. i enjoy her company. we make good friends. my feelings for her though are out of control with passion and friendship just isn't an option.
i want to become the man that she deserves, i don't care what it takes. i'm ready to head into this storm head on and when i run out of gas, i will be running as fast as i can and when i can't run, i will crawl until i can't crawl anymore.
there are times in life where you can either let something go and regret it, or grab it by it's face and do something about it. i am daring myself to be great, and it's ultimately up to me to do something about it. i have high expectations for myself if i am to succeed in this. but i can't let this feeling go. it's the first time i've been like this, and i don't want to lose it.
all i need is one more shot.
i wish that i could just dive into her head and swim in her thoughts. i wish that i could take a step back, look at myself from 3rd person, and talk shit at myself with the stupid situation i put myself into. for the first time in life, i'm afraid to lose. my hope is gone. even if it was a mistake, it still happened, and it shouldn't have. i did screw up, and i seem to do that a lot.
i wish i knew what was going to happen from all this. i want to pretend that jana and i will live happily ever after with more then i could ever ask for in a relationship. i want to try and remember how crazy she was about me just a week ago, and i want to take away the total mind fuck she's going threw because of me right now.
honestly, she deserves a awesome guy. she's a fun girl. she's a smart girl. she's a deep girl. she's more of a girl then i would have ever thought i could spend time with. i enjoy her company. we make good friends. my feelings for her though are out of control with passion and friendship just isn't an option.
i want to become the man that she deserves, i don't care what it takes. i'm ready to head into this storm head on and when i run out of gas, i will be running as fast as i can and when i can't run, i will crawl until i can't crawl anymore.
there are times in life where you can either let something go and regret it, or grab it by it's face and do something about it. i am daring myself to be great, and it's ultimately up to me to do something about it. i have high expectations for myself if i am to succeed in this. but i can't let this feeling go. it's the first time i've been like this, and i don't want to lose it.
all i need is one more shot.