i think i just went crazy
This has to be quick because I've got my first class this morning-- Theology something or other, I can't even remember, like when did I become such a fucking underachiever, but whatever.
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST I CANNOT EVEN. There are so many things about this that make me CRAZY-- beyond the basic fact that it is terrific fucking television filled with pretty boys. Like how half the episodes are directed by a woman-- no one will ever convince me that women don't make the best war films, I WILL fight you on this-- or how they're REAL people and these things really happened and are happening.
This isn't some Band of Brothers shit where we're reminiscing on wars gone by. People are fucking dying, right? And these little kids, girls and mothers and college aged men from the series, are actually dead. That no one I know is in Iraq because we didn't go there but half the parents of everyone I know in my home town are in Afghanistan and I will never do anything as scary or insane or brave as these people. And this has been building for a while, I just watched The Hurt Locker and I have a lot to say about Stop-Loss and even the fucking trailer for Brothers, and my friend Daniel who visited me this weekend on 48 hour leave from basic fucking training. People talk a lot and they don't understand-- you can be anti-war, but being anti-solider is fucking sick.
Or how Evan-- the REAL as in IRL Evan-- writes the teleplays and wrote himself in because otherwise it wouldn't make sense as a TV show? But still you've created a fucking character based on yourself in a book you wrote wherein you were the narrator. That freaks me out and there are layers of meta that even I, who think in meta ALWAYS (who watched fucking Gamer and thought about the philosophical implications of that kind of gameplay like the fucking douche she is), cannot process. But I do need to buy the book. Probably today.
Or how this is Boys Club in a way I will never fucking know or understand or get to see in real life. There's a lot of art out there about how mysterious and unknowable girls and women are to men, but trust me, for me it's equal in the inverse. And it makes me so fucking sad that I vacillate between judgment at the killing and sexism and homophobia and racism and rage and grief that this is what they have to do to cope. That they are just instruments for this entire mess created by everyone above them and that, as much as recruiting ads are bullshit propaganda, they actually do this so we don't have to.
Or Ray and how he is absolutely my favourite and I need more of him always, how I watch in anticipation of him ranting psychopathically or being married with Brad (because they are, they are, I don't even want to read stories where they make out and fall in love, except maybe ones where they move in together and never marry or date anyone else and all of a sudden realize they are totally married.) Because how couldn't he be. In what universe is Ray Person NOT my favourite "character"? (oh god what does that even MEAN in this situation, like would I love the real Ray Person, fucking insane and dangerous and bullshitting and does he talk like this in real life-- real as in normal as in safe as in away from the war.) And his singing and his fucking Elvis glasses and how he might even be smarter than Brad and Nate, too smart to be the best soldier because he's so goddamn enamoured with his own thoughts and voice.
Or Nate and how STUNNING he is, like I watch him and just think that word over and over again. He is the loveliest one in the entire fucking company and his shiny green eyes and how sick this entire thing makes him. Evan has written himself as the audience vehicle, has written Brad as the primary protagonist, but it's Nate who's the movie script hero here.
I cannot even touch Brad in one post. How still ASkars makes himself and those looks he gets sometimes like some part of him just permanently splintered and the way he tries to pretend to not be enormously pleased with every bullshit thing that comes out of Ray's mouth, how he understands that he needs to shelter Walt to protect him, but he needs to shelter Trombley to protect people from him.
It tooks me almost an hour into the first episode to cry, but every subsequent episode, I'm lucky if I make it to the 20 minute mark. The stupidest shit can set me off-- Rudy and Pappy doting on each other, Brad pissed about his fucking peanut butter, Ray being too quiet, Evan smiling because he doesn't know what's going on, Meesh saying every fucking time that they're grateful to be liberated.
OK and that is all, semi-coherent flail the likes I haven't done in ages. Hooray? I've only seen up to A Burning Dog, so don't fucking spoil me okay? I need a GK Icon goddamn.
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST I CANNOT EVEN. There are so many things about this that make me CRAZY-- beyond the basic fact that it is terrific fucking television filled with pretty boys. Like how half the episodes are directed by a woman-- no one will ever convince me that women don't make the best war films, I WILL fight you on this-- or how they're REAL people and these things really happened and are happening.
This isn't some Band of Brothers shit where we're reminiscing on wars gone by. People are fucking dying, right? And these little kids, girls and mothers and college aged men from the series, are actually dead. That no one I know is in Iraq because we didn't go there but half the parents of everyone I know in my home town are in Afghanistan and I will never do anything as scary or insane or brave as these people. And this has been building for a while, I just watched The Hurt Locker and I have a lot to say about Stop-Loss and even the fucking trailer for Brothers, and my friend Daniel who visited me this weekend on 48 hour leave from basic fucking training. People talk a lot and they don't understand-- you can be anti-war, but being anti-solider is fucking sick.
Or how Evan-- the REAL as in IRL Evan-- writes the teleplays and wrote himself in because otherwise it wouldn't make sense as a TV show? But still you've created a fucking character based on yourself in a book you wrote wherein you were the narrator. That freaks me out and there are layers of meta that even I, who think in meta ALWAYS (who watched fucking Gamer and thought about the philosophical implications of that kind of gameplay like the fucking douche she is), cannot process. But I do need to buy the book. Probably today.
Or how this is Boys Club in a way I will never fucking know or understand or get to see in real life. There's a lot of art out there about how mysterious and unknowable girls and women are to men, but trust me, for me it's equal in the inverse. And it makes me so fucking sad that I vacillate between judgment at the killing and sexism and homophobia and racism and rage and grief that this is what they have to do to cope. That they are just instruments for this entire mess created by everyone above them and that, as much as recruiting ads are bullshit propaganda, they actually do this so we don't have to.
Or Ray and how he is absolutely my favourite and I need more of him always, how I watch in anticipation of him ranting psychopathically or being married with Brad (because they are, they are, I don't even want to read stories where they make out and fall in love, except maybe ones where they move in together and never marry or date anyone else and all of a sudden realize they are totally married.) Because how couldn't he be. In what universe is Ray Person NOT my favourite "character"? (oh god what does that even MEAN in this situation, like would I love the real Ray Person, fucking insane and dangerous and bullshitting and does he talk like this in real life-- real as in normal as in safe as in away from the war.) And his singing and his fucking Elvis glasses and how he might even be smarter than Brad and Nate, too smart to be the best soldier because he's so goddamn enamoured with his own thoughts and voice.
Or Nate and how STUNNING he is, like I watch him and just think that word over and over again. He is the loveliest one in the entire fucking company and his shiny green eyes and how sick this entire thing makes him. Evan has written himself as the audience vehicle, has written Brad as the primary protagonist, but it's Nate who's the movie script hero here.
I cannot even touch Brad in one post. How still ASkars makes himself and those looks he gets sometimes like some part of him just permanently splintered and the way he tries to pretend to not be enormously pleased with every bullshit thing that comes out of Ray's mouth, how he understands that he needs to shelter Walt to protect him, but he needs to shelter Trombley to protect people from him.
It tooks me almost an hour into the first episode to cry, but every subsequent episode, I'm lucky if I make it to the 20 minute mark. The stupidest shit can set me off-- Rudy and Pappy doting on each other, Brad pissed about his fucking peanut butter, Ray being too quiet, Evan smiling because he doesn't know what's going on, Meesh saying every fucking time that they're grateful to be liberated.
OK and that is all, semi-coherent flail the likes I haven't done in ages. Hooray? I've only seen up to A Burning Dog, so don't fucking spoil me okay? I need a GK Icon goddamn.