(no subject)
i just read an old friend's kinda old lj entry.
&& it kinda made me feel bad just because like right now ill start thinkin about like how come we never made up?
but for some reason when i see her i really really dont like her.
or when her name gets brought up around me it just pisses me off..
its kinda sad just because we were really good friends...and usually good friends like that make up.
but i couldnt with her and i dunno why?
i dont see how i could all of a sudden just dis like someone that much.
but she really really pissed me off, and i guess i just got sick of it.
&& that kinda scares me, cause if that could happen with her..why couldnt that happen with one of my other friends?
buuuttt yeahh.
today was spent with my boyfriend.. i was sopposed to go to the mall. my grandparents drive me absolutely insane sometimes. i've never had someone make me wanna rip out my hair so bad.
being in relationships scare me...especially with him. of course theres a big chance it wont last forever, and maybe in the future i wouldnt want it to? but right now im so stuck on him..&& on us that its scary. that i really dont want to lose him out of my life right now. && the only reason i would break up with him is because of my own insecurities. and we've almost broken up already because of that..i didnt want to get deeper than i already am. but i wanted to take that chance. && theres no regrets of course. but this is why i dont get into relationships, this is the longest, strongest real relationship i've been in probably, i love feeling like im cared about and wanted, he does so much for me & he makes me so happy & we have fun together. i love pretty much every minute with him, even when we fight over the stupidestt hings, i act mad, when im really not. he never makes me that mad, or that upset. he hasnt really done anything to hurt me in these past couple months, of course it could still happen, but i appreciate that it hasnt.
head over heels <3 ;)