today is the infamous 12.22
i dont think it has to do with this year tho. im not sure its relevence to my life yet
last night i had a dream, i know i saw the person who brought the number into my life but it has nothing to do with them in MY life
this morning, after i wrote a letter to sweetheart, i slept again and dreamt of the butterflies and how our life used to be together.
in the dream i could either go foreward with sweatheart or go back to the butterflies, almost in the way that a teacher told me they experienced life or death with payote. "Dear God, I love you but I dont want to go yet. I still want to live here on Earth. I love you and Im so glad you showed yourself to me but I have to say no." and back into his body his soul went.
in my dream tho, i left behind what i knew would hold me back. though i love the butterflies, or i lovED the butterflies... i knew i had to let them go. FEELINGS werent the only thing i could focus on. YOUR CUTE FACE wasnt the only thing i could focus on. how much you USED TO LOVE ME wasnt what i should focus on. I have an opportunity awaiting for me. an opportunity where i could travel, i could be free, i could be an aquarius, AND be loved. BE LOVED by someone who will love me for me, in time. someone my friends like, someone i can dance with. "my dream man" all wrapped up in a box delivered to me from ebay and sitting waiting for me to open it on my front door. Sitting there.
its scary, the EXACT words i used to describe exactly WHO I WANTED, i ATTRACTED subconsiously to my doorstep.
I am excited and scared. i am scared to leave the butterflies in the last chapter of my life when i thought that would never be an issue.
but now, i am also scared that the first time we kiss, there will be no chemistry.
can you built chesmistry with knowledge?
dear chemistry, i see you in his eyes & in the way he moves his lower lip when talking about something he doesnt like which is few and far between. but chemisty, i need you to come in my eyes & my heart & my lips. I am scared to love again. though i know this is on SO many levels COMPLETLEY different. giving my heart away so soon.
i am me. this is me. and if u dont like it, well this is who i am. this is what my needs are.
the only thing is... this one is saying... "anything you want. your wish is my command."
i am about to be spoiled. and i have never felt that before.
do not base this on that.
its funny, on SO MANY DIFFERENT LEVELS...
only time can tell.
last night i had a dream, i know i saw the person who brought the number into my life but it has nothing to do with them in MY life
this morning, after i wrote a letter to sweetheart, i slept again and dreamt of the butterflies and how our life used to be together.
in the dream i could either go foreward with sweatheart or go back to the butterflies, almost in the way that a teacher told me they experienced life or death with payote. "Dear God, I love you but I dont want to go yet. I still want to live here on Earth. I love you and Im so glad you showed yourself to me but I have to say no." and back into his body his soul went.
in my dream tho, i left behind what i knew would hold me back. though i love the butterflies, or i lovED the butterflies... i knew i had to let them go. FEELINGS werent the only thing i could focus on. YOUR CUTE FACE wasnt the only thing i could focus on. how much you USED TO LOVE ME wasnt what i should focus on. I have an opportunity awaiting for me. an opportunity where i could travel, i could be free, i could be an aquarius, AND be loved. BE LOVED by someone who will love me for me, in time. someone my friends like, someone i can dance with. "my dream man" all wrapped up in a box delivered to me from ebay and sitting waiting for me to open it on my front door. Sitting there.
its scary, the EXACT words i used to describe exactly WHO I WANTED, i ATTRACTED subconsiously to my doorstep.
I am excited and scared. i am scared to leave the butterflies in the last chapter of my life when i thought that would never be an issue.
but now, i am also scared that the first time we kiss, there will be no chemistry.
can you built chesmistry with knowledge?
dear chemistry, i see you in his eyes & in the way he moves his lower lip when talking about something he doesnt like which is few and far between. but chemisty, i need you to come in my eyes & my heart & my lips. I am scared to love again. though i know this is on SO many levels COMPLETLEY different. giving my heart away so soon.
i am me. this is me. and if u dont like it, well this is who i am. this is what my needs are.
the only thing is... this one is saying... "anything you want. your wish is my command."
i am about to be spoiled. and i have never felt that before.
do not base this on that.
its funny, on SO MANY DIFFERENT LEVELS...
only time can tell.