polygamy really is the best solution.
so.
i've been putting off posting because there was so much to say about florence and decision making and the like.
but i'm waiting for a friend to give me the i-walked-home-safe-call and all that can be said is, oy the irony of my life.
just as i'm getting to the really comfortable point - the i just got back from a trip and you're cooking for me point, the let's spend the time companiably studying in my living room while it pours outside, let's go to the ballet together point... just as all this happens, something totally random and unnecessary from a random friend-of-friend throws me off guard. i move on, because it's always just my paranoia about my own awkwardness. has nothing to do with him, just throws me. but we see swan lake, it's beautiful, i feel good, steady. he scribbles a physics problem on the program because he can't help himself. i adore him for it.
and then i drop by the birthday party.
i should know better. the shirt-earring combination i am wearing has gotten me into trouble literally every time i wear it. something about its aura or coincidence, i don't know. but it's dangerous.
and so today, the boy who threw me off guard weeks ago, who made me rethink everything... that boy eventually basically declares love. and i don't say, uh no sorry. i say, here's the thing. i'm seeing someone. and it's complicated. and you're bad for business. and we both looked pained and so we dance. and dance. and he effectively tells me that he understands completely (repeats to a friend many times that he's scared of being a skeeze)but to think. i tell him i'll think. and life is honest, the way i like it. and he's the way i like him. unfortunately or fortunately, boy is also good. boy is ridiculously intelligent, affectionate, and our roles are forming the way i wanted them to.
two hours have passed and there really isn't a dilemma. my life is good as it is, i'm enjoying it a lot, i've made quite an investment and i'm going to see it through, or at least until it stops being fun.
really i always thought my multiple personalities would be a problem when it comes to my signature constantly changing, but i didn't realize it might be an issue personally too... but oh, the irony.
i've been putting off posting because there was so much to say about florence and decision making and the like.
but i'm waiting for a friend to give me the i-walked-home-safe-call and all that can be said is, oy the irony of my life.
just as i'm getting to the really comfortable point - the i just got back from a trip and you're cooking for me point, the let's spend the time companiably studying in my living room while it pours outside, let's go to the ballet together point... just as all this happens, something totally random and unnecessary from a random friend-of-friend throws me off guard. i move on, because it's always just my paranoia about my own awkwardness. has nothing to do with him, just throws me. but we see swan lake, it's beautiful, i feel good, steady. he scribbles a physics problem on the program because he can't help himself. i adore him for it.
and then i drop by the birthday party.
i should know better. the shirt-earring combination i am wearing has gotten me into trouble literally every time i wear it. something about its aura or coincidence, i don't know. but it's dangerous.
and so today, the boy who threw me off guard weeks ago, who made me rethink everything... that boy eventually basically declares love. and i don't say, uh no sorry. i say, here's the thing. i'm seeing someone. and it's complicated. and you're bad for business. and we both looked pained and so we dance. and dance. and he effectively tells me that he understands completely (repeats to a friend many times that he's scared of being a skeeze)but to think. i tell him i'll think. and life is honest, the way i like it. and he's the way i like him. unfortunately or fortunately, boy is also good. boy is ridiculously intelligent, affectionate, and our roles are forming the way i wanted them to.
two hours have passed and there really isn't a dilemma. my life is good as it is, i'm enjoying it a lot, i've made quite an investment and i'm going to see it through, or at least until it stops being fun.
really i always thought my multiple personalities would be a problem when it comes to my signature constantly changing, but i didn't realize it might be an issue personally too... but oh, the irony.