(no subject)
Emily's party yesterday was such a drag.
i couldn't even function and pretend i was having a good time.
i wanted to go to the beach afterwards but john got into this whole thing with his brother where his brother was screaming at him. Then i got upset and wouldn't kiss him before he left. i decided to go to the beach by myself.
This was the first time i went to the beach by myself. It wasn't as depressing as i thought. The only thing was i was frightened to go into the water by myself. i only went half way in and got my but all sandy. that was the low point. I saw the sky and felt immediately better. then i walked around the beach and was staring at everyone around me.
i cant talk to people anymore, all i can do is stare and gawk.
i feel like the summer is practically over. but its not.
i dont want to go to college yet.its too real. it means im really growing up.
IM NOT FIVE ANYMORE! FUCK!
this past week was a mess and yuck.
i got so upset each night, for no real reason at all.
i have a problem speaking when one should.its as if i know i should be saying something, but some connection with my mouth and brain gets halted.
i couldn't even function and pretend i was having a good time.
i wanted to go to the beach afterwards but john got into this whole thing with his brother where his brother was screaming at him. Then i got upset and wouldn't kiss him before he left. i decided to go to the beach by myself.
This was the first time i went to the beach by myself. It wasn't as depressing as i thought. The only thing was i was frightened to go into the water by myself. i only went half way in and got my but all sandy. that was the low point. I saw the sky and felt immediately better. then i walked around the beach and was staring at everyone around me.
i cant talk to people anymore, all i can do is stare and gawk.
i feel like the summer is practically over. but its not.
i dont want to go to college yet.its too real. it means im really growing up.
IM NOT FIVE ANYMORE! FUCK!
this past week was a mess and yuck.
i got so upset each night, for no real reason at all.
i have a problem speaking when one should.its as if i know i should be saying something, but some connection with my mouth and brain gets halted.