I Aint No God Damn Son of A Bitch
I god damn fucking hate it when it rains. Everything seemed so unrestrained and healthy. I felt less in tune with apathy, more so then usual anyway, and have been wasting so much damn time with my kin that I almost forgot about this thing. But there's just too many somethings that piss me off, and I don't know how else to express my undying need to bitch about what I think everyone knows is ruining society today, my counter culture views. Deal with it.
It's how I was brought up, what can I say.
So anyway, after a light night of drinking (for once) I stumbled upon a --Cosmopolitan-- Magazine in Stephen's room. There was a fully intact bullshit nazi feminist magazine in the middle of the Cript (My bar! No less...) and I had not poked fun at it's elicit, straightforward ways to be like the rest of bland culture? Oh damn, mark found his hangover project....thing....
Anyway, the laughable excuse for reading material (Which it is not because illiterate people read it and instead of getting something out of it, it somehow reduces brain capacity, not to mention it's obvious pro feminist principles) is just chock full of all their bullshit answers to your even matched bullshit questions. The worst part is if you pay any attention to your peers (Which you don't have to do, or at least I never did anyway) you know exactly the type of tacky, hair spray riddled, personality less behemoth that reads this garbage because despite there lack of any thoughts of their own (Witch they would have no use for anyway since all they need are their looks, so they can attract personality less guys with the same disposition) they still seem to be mesmerized by perhaps the only source of literature that is saturated enough for them. Seriously. This is one of their hip new age articles obviously intended for the popular, brain dead (I mean, "average") teenage girl:
"Spicing Up Your Sack Sessions"
(I'm all for descriptive language but....Damn)
Some random girl asks how she should "Initiate sex" with her man. Sounds simple enough, I'm sure all of you could answer her question for her, but let's see what the "experts" at --Cosmopolitan-- would say...
"Initiating the action doesn't mean you have to come on to your man like a porn star or toss him on the bed and have your way with him. Instead, try a more subtle seduction strategy, like catching him off guard with a passionate kiss. Sounds obvious, but all it takes is a little lip-locking to get his blood racing. Another gotta-have-him-now ploy: Offer to give him a spine-melting massage. Have him undress and lie facedown on the bed, then slowly knead and stroke him from the nape of his neck down to his butt and on to his below-the-belt region. Or, join him in the shower and sensuously soap him up."
These people are shit eating assholes. No wonder some people live to be virgins till their thirty. According to these pricks, sex is not initiated by jumping on the bed and sticking the turkey in the oven, no, it's about kissing and massages. The worst part is if you can't be agressive, how the fuck are you going to calmly say "Oh, lay down and take your clothes off so I can give you a hint I want to plow you-I MEAN a massage!" Or even the thought that a couple would be comfertable enough to take a shower together and have yet to fuck.... god damn I hate this magazine so much I'm done bitching about them.
I tried giving my kitty Switch a bath today. He responded very politly and told me that he would rather have flees then to deal with water up to his paws(with his claws). I then calmly told him it's no wheres near a good thing for your kitten to have flees, so he tore off my pinky. After cleaning up the blood he said he was sorry and smoked a joint with me.
So there's going to be a Slipknot concert at the beginning of November. Thats fine. I don't care. But want to hear the unnerving part? It's so nice of Slipknot, considering all their fame with the fourteen year old girls (Not kidding neither, the Ducky wannabes do love their Slipknot) Slipknot has decided to take all their fame and throw it away (first smart thing they've done since stone sour) and have decided to be the opening acts for two Crazy ass bands here in Maine
As I lay Dying
AND
UNEARTH
I have just received word that Slipknot is taking center stage, which not only means they are going to get their shit ruined, but if I go, I don't even think I'm going to bother staying to see them get booed off stage.
It's how I was brought up, what can I say.
So anyway, after a light night of drinking (for once) I stumbled upon a --Cosmopolitan-- Magazine in Stephen's room. There was a fully intact bullshit nazi feminist magazine in the middle of the Cript (My bar! No less...) and I had not poked fun at it's elicit, straightforward ways to be like the rest of bland culture? Oh damn, mark found his hangover project....thing....
Anyway, the laughable excuse for reading material (Which it is not because illiterate people read it and instead of getting something out of it, it somehow reduces brain capacity, not to mention it's obvious pro feminist principles) is just chock full of all their bullshit answers to your even matched bullshit questions. The worst part is if you pay any attention to your peers (Which you don't have to do, or at least I never did anyway) you know exactly the type of tacky, hair spray riddled, personality less behemoth that reads this garbage because despite there lack of any thoughts of their own (Witch they would have no use for anyway since all they need are their looks, so they can attract personality less guys with the same disposition) they still seem to be mesmerized by perhaps the only source of literature that is saturated enough for them. Seriously. This is one of their hip new age articles obviously intended for the popular, brain dead (I mean, "average") teenage girl:
"Spicing Up Your Sack Sessions"
(I'm all for descriptive language but....Damn)
Some random girl asks how she should "Initiate sex" with her man. Sounds simple enough, I'm sure all of you could answer her question for her, but let's see what the "experts" at --Cosmopolitan-- would say...
"Initiating the action doesn't mean you have to come on to your man like a porn star or toss him on the bed and have your way with him. Instead, try a more subtle seduction strategy, like catching him off guard with a passionate kiss. Sounds obvious, but all it takes is a little lip-locking to get his blood racing. Another gotta-have-him-now ploy: Offer to give him a spine-melting massage. Have him undress and lie facedown on the bed, then slowly knead and stroke him from the nape of his neck down to his butt and on to his below-the-belt region. Or, join him in the shower and sensuously soap him up."
These people are shit eating assholes. No wonder some people live to be virgins till their thirty. According to these pricks, sex is not initiated by jumping on the bed and sticking the turkey in the oven, no, it's about kissing and massages. The worst part is if you can't be agressive, how the fuck are you going to calmly say "Oh, lay down and take your clothes off so I can give you a hint I want to plow you-I MEAN a massage!" Or even the thought that a couple would be comfertable enough to take a shower together and have yet to fuck.... god damn I hate this magazine so much I'm done bitching about them.
I tried giving my kitty Switch a bath today. He responded very politly and told me that he would rather have flees then to deal with water up to his paws(with his claws). I then calmly told him it's no wheres near a good thing for your kitten to have flees, so he tore off my pinky. After cleaning up the blood he said he was sorry and smoked a joint with me.
So there's going to be a Slipknot concert at the beginning of November. Thats fine. I don't care. But want to hear the unnerving part? It's so nice of Slipknot, considering all their fame with the fourteen year old girls (Not kidding neither, the Ducky wannabes do love their Slipknot) Slipknot has decided to take all their fame and throw it away (first smart thing they've done since stone sour) and have decided to be the opening acts for two Crazy ass bands here in Maine
As I lay Dying
AND
UNEARTH
I have just received word that Slipknot is taking center stage, which not only means they are going to get their shit ruined, but if I go, I don't even think I'm going to bother staying to see them get booed off stage.