I Want to Stand by U.
Title: I Want to Stand by U
Pairing: YunJae. HoMin.
Rating: PG-13 for some language :P
Warning: Unbeta-ed&angst ish~
Disclaimer: They all belong to themselves& no copyright intended~
Summary: Jaejoong regrets not being able to see the love placed in front of him by Yunho. Is it really too late?
A/N: sequel [ish] to My Paper Heart is Bleeding.
Since the day you left without a word of goodbye
I feel that the scenery around me has changed.
The sun doesn’t shine as bright. The flowers look dull. The days pass by as fast as a snail. I’m becoming numb without you.
When you were crying by yourself back then,
if only had I run to you
you would still be by my side.
You left a journal at my house. I guess it was a secret journal since you never mentioned it. I read it. I read it all in 8 hours. I saw how on some pages, there were little dried droplets and some stained writing, as if you were crying while writing the entries. Then it hit me like a brick: you cried. You cried for me. THE Jung Yunho CRIED for ME. You made me realize that I love you. Reflecting on the past, I’ve come to realize that you were always there for me so I thought it was natural to feel jealous when you touched someone else or when you laughed with someone else because I was your best friend. I assumed that you would never leave. I assumed you would grow old with me and we will be in a nursing home and yell at each other because one of us took the others pudding. I assumed life would be good if you never left me. I guess I was wrong. I lost you, Yunho. Now you are off laughing with someone, taking them to our secret rendezvous at the cliff where you held me for God knows how long while I cried an OCEAN.
If I was given one more chance,
I would tell you once again
that I love you.
But you have Changmin now. You’re happy… right?
But the words that contain my overflowing feelings
cannot reach you anymore.
I’ve written countless letters, e-mails, scripts for a voicemail but I’ve never actually sent them nor did I ever call you. Why? I’m scared, Yunnie. I’m scared you’ll reject me. I’m scared that if I call you, I’ll hear your new boyfriend and I’ll go bat-shit on him when he didn’t even do anything. I’m scared that you’ll run away from me if I tell you these feelings I want to express.
Where are you now?
Who are you being with?
What kind of clothes are you wearing?
What are doing and laughing at?
Shit. I’ve resorted to stalking. In my red beanie, aviators, jeans, and beige coat, I watch you, observing your every move… I felt that something was off about you. You seemed… different. No, your hair hasn’t changed. Your body language didn’t change. Something about your eyes was disturbing. There was a hint of an emotion I just can’t describe… is it… remorse? No. It can’t be. You have such a vibrant smile and your eyes are sparkling like bright diamonds. But I have a gut feeling it’s somewhat forced… or is it just my wishful thinking?
I am right here.
Even now, I am right here.
And I still believe that we will see each other again.
You're the only one I'm thinking of.
Even though it’s just a wish. Just a itty bitty wish. I wish that we can see each other and just be friends, perhaps even lovers, for one day. One day is all I ask. One day to grasp how wonderful it would’ve been if I had appreciated you and accepted you.
Just once more,
I want you to stand at my back with your tied hair
asking me "Guess who it is~~~"
and expecting me to say out your name.
Just the two of us being silly like that day by day.
Remember when we were in high school and we would pull pranks on Changmin? Remember that one time we took away his food and he cried so hard that we gave his food back? Remember that time we put paint on Junsu’s chair and he went around the whole day w/ bright red paint on his ass? Those were the days… Let’s rewind to those care-free days. No, wait. Life’s a bitch so we can’t.
I can't forget you,
But the truth is, I don't want to forget you.
I can't feel even a bit of happiness
because you're not by my side.
No matter how hard I try,
I'll end up crying
and my tears just won't stop.
How was I supposed to know that I loved you? You were always there. No matter what. But now… you’re gone. Gone from my side. I’m lonely, Yunho-ah.
Therefore, I am right here
singing the song by myself.
Even though I don't have any reason to embrace this pain anymore,
I can't help doing it.
The pain in my chest is the only reminder that you were here. There’s this sad love song I’m listening to right now. If you were here, I would show it to you. I would sing it just for you.
Even if I know that the days
when you were by my side making my world shine
won't come back again,
and no matter what will happen,
no matter how far I'm lost,
I never ever want to forget that my heart has chosen to love you.
Yoochun was obviously a mistake. But you were there to comfort me, to sooth me. Now Junsu is trying to comfort me. Even though they were lying to me when Chun and I were dating, I can see that they regret it. But I can also see the look Chun gives to Junsu and the way Su gazes back at him. It’s the look of love. They truly love each other. And I remember that that’s the way you looked at me. I’ve never noticed until I went through our old yearbooks and photos. You looked so happy in some pictures, then you look like you’re about to cry or kill someone with your bare hands in others, like the one when Siwon and I were playing in the pool or the one when Hankyung was stealing a bite of my ice cream. How come I didn’t notice until now?
No matter where you are,
no matter who you are being with,
no matter what kind of dream you are dreaming of,
or what you are doing and laughing at,
I will be here forever.
Even now, I right am here,
believing in a day that we will meet again.
It's been weeks since you left me on the day I confessed to you, 56 days to be exact, but I’ll wait. I’ll wait forever if I have to just to hear you say my name again. For now, I just have to settle with watching you from the shadows like the awesome ninja stalker I am.
This feeling won't change,
and you are the only one I'm thinking of.
So when you came by my doorstep, and I was looking like shit, you tell me I look amazing. You tell me that you’re also miserable. You tell me that Changmin wasn’t the one, that it felt so wrong and even HE noticed. You tell me that I’M the one. You tell me to give you another chance. I stop you with a deep, passionate kiss. A kiss that we’ve both been waiting for. A kiss that said: I NEED YOU in a sweet, silent way.
Seems like life isn’t a bitch after all.
~~~
Well… I wrote a sequel cause I felt kinda bad leaving My Paper Heart Is Bleeding as it was… so here it is(: It’s like a total fail though. If you didn’t notice, I got really lazy -.-"
I used most of the [but I deleted a couple of verses of the lyrics so they would fit the story] English translations of Stand By U
Hope you enjoyed& please excuse my failness~
Comments? <3