Fic: A Soft Place to Fall, Chris/ Steve, AU

[under_hatches]

Title: A Soft Place to Fall
Word Count: 5,602
Pairing: Chris/ Steve
Summary: With the ranch hands being away for the weekend, the boys have some time to themselves.
Notes: More of the Cowboy!AU for Silme, who asked real nice for a sequel to Here. And since the story was long from being told, here it is. Comments are ♥



Previous part: Here

Chris was sitting on the fence and calling out to the ranch hands. In early spring, he had gotten four new horses, got them cheap too as a package deal at the horse and cattle auction, but one of them was as wild as they get and another one was biting. They were currently keeping them separated from the other horses in a small corral. Whenever he could, Chris would walk over and have a look at them, trying to decide whether he had bought trouble he simply had to feed until the next auction or whether they would behave after a while.
Most of the time, Chris would come out here to relax, sitting on the outer fence of the wild one's pen, looking at the land around him and just being still. With other horses, that had done the trick, and they come over sooner or later. This one just had eyed him so far, waiting at a distance for God knows what.

Today was not as quiet as usual, despite the already dusty heat that had set in so early this year, so maybe that was why the horse kept itself as far away as it could get. The ranch hands were to leave for a long weekend, and everyone did their best to wrap up work as fast as they could. Chris bellowed at them once in a while, reminding them of the things that had to be done before they could drive off, but even without the shouted instructions there was a constant murmur while they worked. Letting all go at the same time was risky, but Jeff was staying on the outer pasture, so his boys could get the weekend off together and share a ride to the city.

He pulled his hat a little lower over his eyes against the late afternoon sun. The buzz would fade soon, and then there would be the kind of quiet you'd only get during those spring evenings when the warmth of the sun faded and the ground was not yet warm enough to sleep on, but with yellowing grass that trapped the dew in the evenings, and an abundance of wild flowers out in the fields. Rain had made them pop up this year, painting the landscape yellow and drowning the smell of sage until it was fully in bloom.
He stretched lazily and shouted another instruction, sure that no one was really listening, but grinned wide when Jay grumbled. Chris had their pay checks ready, added a little cash extra to spend, so he allowed himself to be the grumpy ranch owner his father had been.
Chris sensed the movement slightly behind him rather that he actually saw anyone, but when he turned Steve stood there, shirtless and barefoot, and Chris was about to say something but then shut his mouth.

“Nothing nice to say,” Steve asked, because he could read Chris too damn easily, so Chris only grunted as a reply. Steve stood there, loose limps and suntanned skin, and waited.

“Least put some shoes on,” Chris finally said.

“Yeah, yeah. Animals with hoofs, got it. Jen asks whether you want their rooms clean and empty before they leave.”
“No, they don't need to bother with that.” Chris paused. “They will be coming back, right?”

Steve laughed one of those small almost silent laughs and cocked his head to look at Chris against the sun.

“They'll be back. I'll tell him.”

Steve turned to leave but Chris reached out and grabbed his arm.

“Will you hitch a ride with them?”
“What?”
“A ride.”

He should have been used to the look Steve was giving him by now, but when Steve actually looked at him like that, a little cross somehow, furrowed brow and set lips, Chris looked at the red earth.

“I won't ride to the city along with them.”

Chris couldn't help but smile, but he kept his head down so Steve might miss it.

After they had left, taking the truck, whooping and speeding off with promises of being back on time and with presents, and the dust had settled again, Chris went out to look at the wild one again.

“You're not thinking about riding him, are you,” Steve said, coming up from behind him, and damn, the boy could read him too well.

“Not today.” Which was only a half truth even if Chris was being nice.
“Good. At least wait until Jeff is down here, so he can help me patch you back up.”
“He's not that bad,” Chris said.
“Oh, he is,” Steve said and left it at that.

Steve had a good hand for horses, only ever riding the one brown girl Chris had got him shortly after Steve came to the ranch, but the others responded very well to him and would follow him around if you let them. He had said he didn't care much for horses, but he had stayed and what other reason could there be. That and he was nice to the animals, patting them or bringing them treats and never sneaking up on them from behind. Hired as a cook, Steve by now lived in the main house with Chris, taking up the adjoining bedroom instead of staying in the additional rooms Chris had built for the ranch hands after buying the ranch and rebuilding the old farmhouse. With one help being on the pasture, the other two each had a room of their own, which was rare and even more welcomed. Chris had five beds altogether, two bunks and a single, but never fully used them. He liked to do as much work himself as he could, paying good enough money for his ranch hands to come back for the next season even if he had sent them away a few weeks early before. Right now, the boys used the extra space to clutter their stuff around, and while Jen kept a few books on the upper bunk in his room, along with his clothes so they wouldn't have to go into the provided chest, Jared slept on the upper bunk in the next room, the lower one a chaotic display of probably half of what the boy owned. Steve's room was a full bedroom, with a proper wardrobe and a bigger bed, built at a time when plans had been different. Things had changed and Chris didn't mind in the least.

Chris often was quiet next to Steve, who did only ask when he needed to know and never pried. It was like being able to breathe finally beside him.

“Want me to prepare dinner?”
“Yeah. I'll help.”

With just the two of them, they had an easy rhythm, and Chris liked to explain it by the time Steve had been staying on the ranch. He liked to think that that was it; that there was nothing more to it, simple time and habit.

After dinner he let Steve have the tub, because the boy liked to soak and try and get rid of the dust, something that Chris had given up in favor of showers after a long day. Chris went out again to look at the horses, feeling restless and looking at the sky to see if it was going to rain, but it was clear with the promise of a spectacular sunset. The light was already changing to a dusky hue, painting the sun bleached wooden fence blue instead of its bone white. When Chris reached the pen, the horse came over and looked at him.

“What, now you come?” Chris said quietly.

He held put his hand, but the horse shied away, waiting for him to withdraw his hand before coming closer again. Chris made soft sounds at it, cooing and murmuring until it stood close enough to touch but he did not risk it. This was good enough for a day. Just when the horse was about to take a step closer, it shied again, this time retreating to the other end of the pen.

“Did you name him yet?”

“No,” Chris looked at Steve and then at the horse again. “They never do that.”

“Do what?”

“Shy like that. From you. Never mind,” Chris said when he saw Steve’s frown, “You out here? Getting all dirty again.”

“I was counting on that,” Steve said, not looking at Chris but the sunset. “It's the colors, you don't get colors like that everywhere, man.”

Which was hardly an explanation, but Chris let it slide, because Steve was right and right there too, standing close. They watched the sky turn aflame and then die down to orange and blue, before it darkened and the stars came out, bright and clear, to accompany the sliver of silver moon. Chris stood still, while Steve took a step closer.

Chris sometimes thought about the kiss they had shared in winter, but tried not to think about the night that had followed. They had had sex after that first night, but Steve had never stayed after, only had kissed him and then gone back to his own bedroom sometime during the night. The one night after getting the horses in just in time before the snow was the only one Steve had stayed and had lain pressed up against Chris the whole night, blankets wrapped around them both. Chris could not say whether it was something he had said the next morning when they had prepared breakfast, or something he had not said. Chris had never asked, not knowing how, and suddenly it had been spring.

Steve’s touch did not come as a surprise, they used to touch once they were alone, but still Chris flinched. Steve wrapped his arm around Chris’ waist and pulled him closer, not allowing any room to feel regret at his initial reaction, and Chris relaxed against him.

“Will you stay,” he asked before he could make up his mind against it.

“Yeah,” Steve answered without missing a beat.

He did not ask whether Chris meant generally or for the night, and that gave Chris more comfort than it probably should, so he leaned over and kissed the bit of skin at Steve’s neck, the one just above the collar. It always started like this, with warmth that gradually built up to heat, and Chris liked the moment where it was just that: slow spreading warmth and the promise of something more. He was reluctant to go inside, reluctant to leave the warm summer night and its sounds, but Steve gently tugged at his arm, and when Chris touched Steve at the back of his neck, it was easy to give in.

They made love that night, Chris looking at Steve and touching as much of him as he could, and he wanted to ask him things then, the words so close on the tip of his tongue that he could taste them. Instead, he lost himself in the sounds Steve made, low in his throat at first but then whimpering and finally louder, moaning. And Chris just held on, making hardly a sound, but watching Steve unravel.

Chris woke several times during the night, reaching to the other side of the bed before being fully awake and always finding Steve there, curled up on his side and facing him. Finally, he left his arm outstretched, touching Steve just slightly, and slept through the rest of the night.

The next morning Chris made coffee before waking Steve. Steve looked disoriented and disheveled and Chris laughed at that and hugged him close.

“You made coffee,” Steve mumbled, eyes barely open. Chris handed him the blue cup with the chip off at the top, and Steve grabbed it as soon as it was within reach. Carefully, he took a sip and then moaned.

“You got it perfect.”

“Yeah, one spoon of sugar, shot of milk.”

“Well, someone's in a good mood today,” Steve said and smiled.
“Slept real well,” Chris said, which seemed to make Steve smile even wider.

“Good thing you asked me then.”

Chris paused at that, coffee cup half raised to his mouth. He nodded before taking a sip and looked at Steve.

“Yeah, good thing I did.”

Steve beamed at him and then raced him to the shower.

The horses kept them busy all morning, and when they were done, Steve went back to the house while Chris saddled his favorite horse. He led her around to the wild one's pen, getting into the saddle and cooing to her while looking at the black horse in the corral.

“You better not ride him today,” Steve called out.
“Just taking Sally for a quick one,” Chris shouted back.
“Don't think you can fool me.”

Chris laughed and sped off. He had been thinking about riding the wild one as soon as he saw him today. But with Steve worrying like that, Chris would postpone it for one more day. Tomorrow, Jeff would be back, making this the last day they had to themselves like this, and Chris thought he should maybe say a few things to Steve while no one else was around to hear. Things that included telling him to stay, here on this ranch, for as long as possible, because Chris had this feeling that Steve would like that, being asked. He seemed to have waiting for something in the past months, and while Chris had thought that it would go without saying, maybe it didn't. He sped over the dirt road leading to the outer pasture, his horse kicking up dust, and then turn and rode back, flying through the same dust cloud he had stirred up, feeling it settle in his hair, on his face. The fields were a blur of green and yellow left and right, and he came back to the ranch, only slowing down when he could see Steve waiting for him.

“Should wear a hat in this sun,” Chris said when he rode over to where Steve was standing and slipped out of his saddle.

“It's not that bad. I'll wait till summer. You just want to see me wearing one,” Steve answered.
“Yeah. Got me.”

Steve looked surprised at that, and Chris leaned over and kissed him. Maybe he should tell him now, he thought.

“The sunburn on your nose is kinda cute,” Chris said instead.

Steve laughed.

“Someone's in a really good mood today.”
“Yeah. Got half a mind to ask you to stay.”
“Do you now? You kinda did that yesterday.”

“No.” Chris said, looking to the ground. He kicked at the dust, watching it settle on his boot, stalling while trying to find the perfect words.

Steve looked at him as if waiting, but then blinked and looked into the distance past the barn.

“Move some of your things to the Master bedroom?” Chris blurted out.

He squinted against the sun, bit his tongue and waited for Steve's reaction.

“What, like, some of my clothes?”

Chris thought that he had never seen Steve grin like that, wide and hopeful.

“Yeah,” he said, because that was all he could think of right now, all he could say without voicing the tumbled mess that sat in his stomach.

“Yeah. Alright. Better get moving then,” Steve said. He was bouncing slightly on his heels and Chris smiled and nodded.

“I'll help.”

Once in Steve's bedroom, Steve started going through the wardrobe, sorting and discarding, before suddenly stopping and looking lost. Chris sighed. He had an idea of what this might be about, because he remembered a time when he had packed too, moving someplace else, stacking cardboard boxes in the back of a rented van, old dented one too, that had given him trouble braking when he took a turn too fast. Too fast had been pretty relative too. He had come back here then, to endless skies, mountains in the distance and fields that stretched into the next state, buying the place and fixing it, making it his own. It hadn't been the change that had made him feel restless, not alone, but the need to stay two places, grow out of the old one while growing into the new. He had not had the chance to keep a place for retreat; he could try and give that to Steve though.

“You don't have to give up your room, you know? Can still stay your room. Just get your clothes in the main bedroom, the things you need.”

Steve hugged him good and tight, not letting go until Chris gently pulled away and looked at him. This was easy, he thought, maybe it stayed that way.

He had decided he wasn't the marrying kind shortly after the original plans for the house fell out, but he could easily admit that this was nice. Maybe things had changed with the missus all those years ago, maybe that was just it. Or they had never quite fit, and it would be different with Steve. Chris liked to believe that.

“Stop it,” Steve said.
“What?”
“Worrying. You get all frowny and squint your eyes.”

Chris laughed because no one could ever read him as well as Steve, so maybe that was difference enough.

“That's better,” Steve said and then dumped a pile of laundry at Chris' feet, “Now help me with that.”

He let Steve cook their lunch after they finished fitting most of Steve's clothes into the drawer and wardrobe of the master bedroom and moving the furniture in the second bedroom, no, Steve's room, it had always been Steve's room in a way anyway, so it looked more like a study now. Before Steve could sit down at the kitchen table, Chris grabbed their plates and carried them to the porch.

The wind had picked up and ruffled the grass, swooping up and carrying dust along. It stopped before the porch, curling and turning around and swishing back. It was still warm, the wood of the porch warmed by the tentative spring sun that already promised a hot summer, but the wind felt cool against their skin, smelling like laundry that's been outside for a few minutes, and green grass.
They sat down next to each other on the steps, balancing the plates on their knees, and watched the sky darken as clouds drew together, shifting from cotton candy clouds to a troubled lilac gray. When the east seemed dipped in an inky darkness, they started to hurry through their lunch. Chris got up while shoveling the last two forkfuls of scrambled egg into his mouth, looking at Steve while setting his plate aside. In the distance, the sky seemed to lighten and the cloud turned sideways, as if falling to the ground. They were in for a heavy downpour, so Chris ran over to the small pens, leaving it to Steve to open the doors to the main barn, allowing the horses to find shelter more quickly. Chris wasn't sure he saw lightning in the distance, but wanted to make sure all horses would be able to take shelter when needed. He didn't like the thought of letting them out in the weather when the barn was just there. The horse that used to bite just looked at Chris and then followed easily with Chris holding the reigns slack. He ran back after handing him over to Steve.

The wild one eyed him again, but came over when he entered the pen.

“Easy, easy now,” Chris mumbled. “That's it, boy.”

To his surprise, the horse walked up against him, and Chris slid one hand into its mane. He let his hand rest for a moment in the rough black hair, and then pulled very gently. The horse looked at him and Chris rubbed his other hand along its neck.

“That's it. That's it, you're a good one.”

He could hear Steve yell at him and felt the first rain drops fall.

“Come one, let's get you into your stall, boy.”

Chris led the horse with unexpected ease. It only shied when it saw Steve, and Chris frowned but brought it into the stall himself.

They ran back to the house in the rain, stopping only on the porch, drenched and breathing heavily. Chris looked into the rain that fell like all the damn clouds were rushing down; And then at Steve, who was shrugging out of his wet shirt and toeing off his muddy boots, hair hanging into his face and cussing quietly. Before he could fumble with the button of his jeans, Chris was on him, stroking his hands over summer warm skin and kissing him. Steve made a surprised sound, but then reached for Chris, pulling at his shirt, only managing to pull him closer instead of undressing him.

“Let me,” Steve murmured between kisses.
“Yeah,” Chris said, because he would, whatever the question.

Steve smiled into the next kiss, grabbing Chris' ass and pushing against Chris. Chris slipped out of one of his shirt sleeves, but Steve held his left arm tightly against his side, so Chris just let go of the shirt and let it hang. Steve pushed into Chris, causing him to stumble slightly, until he had his back against one of the wooden beams. The rain was coming down in earnest and Chris could feel it cold against his neck, the bared shoulder, and in his hair. Steve grabbed Chris' wrist when Chris reached out, and then pressed one leg between Chris', looking at him through half closed eyes, purring deep in his throat before kissing him. Chris pulled Steve closer with his left hand, closing what little space had been between them and never struggling against the hold Steve had on him. They only went inside when the first thunder rang, leaving their clothes on the porch for the wind to dry.

They fell asleep in the living room, next to the cold stove, and Chris only woke when Steve shook him at the shoulder. Even then it took him a while to come to, and worse, to realize that they were on the floor and Steve was tousled as fuck, with angry red patches of skin on each elbow caused by their inability to wait until getting to their bedroom. Chris smiled sleepily at that, and Steve grinned back and helped him up. They went straight to bed, skipping dinner and curling up under the thin blanket Chris used now instead of the thick feather down he had had in winter, the rain thrumming on the roof. Chris fell back asleep instantly, one hand curled against Steve's hip.

When Chris woke up, the sun was already coming through the blinds, but it was too early for him to wake Steve, so he left to look after the horses. He led the wild one from the stall back into the pen, sitting down on the fence again, and holding out his hand. The black horse had not shied in the least while being walked back, just kept pretty close as if finally searching for contact. He came over again, close enough for Chris to touch. Chris petted it, and ran his hand down the horse's neck. He knew he had to wait with trying to ride him until Steve was awake, otherwise Steve would raise hell and Chris would be at the receiving end of it. He had seen Steve mad about twice in his life and did not want to have it ever directed at him again.

He went back to the house and made coffee, which was as good a peace offering as they come. When he tip toed back into the master bedroom, Steve was still asleep, lying on his stomach and snoring softly. Chris smiled and placed the coffee mug on the night stand. He ran his hand up and down Steve's back, waiting for him to stir eventually. Steve turned and blinked, running one hand across his face before smiling a little.

“Hey,” he said, voice husky with sleep. Chris liked the way Steve sounded when just awoken, gravelly and rough, speech only catching up with his thoughts.

“Brought you coffee,” Chris said.
“Marry me?”

Chris laughed. Steve had the decency to look the slightest bit flustered at his request and he took a quick sip of coffee to hide it.

“Sure thing, darlin.”

“Jeff will be back today,” Steve then said, and Chris could not tell whether it was sadness in Steve's voice or worry. He himself wished they could go on like this, just the two of them. Place was small enough to handle when he'd get rid of a few horses. They could get a dog then. Steve had once mentioned he liked dogs and had had one back home.

“Yeah,” Chris said, back to agreeing because all the other things would just tumble out and then lie there between them. “Get up, I already ate breakfast and made you sandwiches. I need to get the stables sorted out. Can't have a ranch hand bark at me.”

Steve sat up and reached for him, but did not say anything, so Chris leaned in and kissed him on the lips, quick and sweet, before smiling and getting up.

“Don't do anything stupid until after I showered,” Steve hollered after him.

Chris waited for Steve to come out of the shower before leaving the house and walking to the pen again. He let himself in and closed the gate behind him. The horse looked at him as if waiting, so Chris cooed at him, coming closer while keeping his back to the fence.
When Chris got close enough, he climbed on the fence, stepping onto the lower bar, and then swung himself onto the back of the horse. The horse tensed, Chris could feel the moment before it would move stretching, and Chris pulled the lead closer around his fist,while holding onto the mane with his other hand. He saw Steve come onto the porch, and then shouting and running towards him. Chris leaned to one side, expecting the wild one to go one way, but he went the other, and after several forceful bucks, Chris found himself lying in the dust, nylon burn on his left hand from the lead, and pain shooting up his side.

Steve was at the fence, yelling, but when Chris tried to turn and get up he found he couldn't. Steve was at his side, eyes wide and scared, his hands on Chris' face, but Chris could not say how he got there or what he was saying. He closed his eyes and felt Steve shake him, and damn, that hurt. The pain was like a hot wire, all the way down to his left hand. Steve dragged him out of the pen and closed the gate, putting something under his head and telling him to wait. It did not make sense, wait for what, Chris thought. Steve ran off but came back before Chris had even closed his eyes.

“I'll be back, just wait, alright? Just. Please.”

And Chris nodded at that, because waiting, yeah, he could do that. It was only then when he saw the brown horse he had bought for Steve.

Where are you going, he said, but the words would not come out right, they were tumbled somehow and Steve looked at him in alarm.

“Just. Please,” Steve said again, asking for something he could not voice, and Chris nodded again.

Steve swung himself into the saddle, one swift graceful move, and Chris remembered Steve's first ride, where he had held on to the reigns so fast his knuckles had turned white. Steve looked at him once more before speeding off, hair flying and his horse stirring up the dust. Chris looked after him, the way he held himself on that horse, one arm to the side, just one hand in the reigns.

Taught him good, he thought and closed his eyes. Taught him real good.

He woke because he was being moved and he did not even remember falling asleep. When he was being sat up, the pain came back and he grunted.

“Dumbass cowboy,” somebody growled into his ear.
“Jeff?”
“Couldn't have waited, now could you? What were you thinking, boy?”

Chris opened his eyes, but everything was leaning to the left. He made another sound when Jeff hoisted him up. Jeff unceremoniously pulled him further up by his uninjured arm and over his shoulder, and Chris kept his eyes squeezed tight all the way to the house. Jeff dropped him on the bed, carefully enough, but Chris still felt like curling up.

“Stay on your back. Where's that water,” Jeff bellowed.

Chris could hear Steve reply, but it was too quiet.

“Scared the shit out of your boy,” Jeff said, “Never saw him ride that fast. Thought you were dead or at least bleeding to death. Seems it only got your shoulder. You stupid son of a bitch.”

“Language,” Steve said sharply from the doorway.
“What, you don't think that was a stupid thing to pull off?” Jeff huffed.

Steve came in, rolling his eyes and handing Jeff the bowl with hot water.

“It was,” Steve said.
“Won't do that again,” Chris said through clenched teeth.
“You better don't,” Jeff said, “Your boy was as white as a wall. It's time you take responsibility. Can't go and do dumbass shit like that when you got family, boy.”

Steve made a sound, and Chris looked up at him.

“What, you two think I'm deaf and blind? Jesus fuck.”

Chris grinned at that, couldn't help it really. He still grinned when Jeff started to wash the grime and dust off, pulling at his shirt and causing the shoulder to flare up.

“You need to see a doctor,” Jeff stated. “I'm just cleaning you up enough to look decent.”

“I'll do it,” Steve said, taking the washcloth from Jeff's hands. “Go and get some coffee. You'll need to drive us to town. There is no way I'm able to drive.”

“Alright, boy. Let me know when you're ready.”

Steve nodded and then looked back at Chris, who watched them both.

“I'm alright.”
“You're not, you stupid ass.”
“I probably deserved that.”
“The fall - no. Me bitching at you - definitely.”

Chris looked at his hands while Steve gently brushed the cloth over his face.

“Stay,” he said.

Steve looked at him.

“Already told you I would.”

“No.”

“Yeah, you asked that before and... wait. Is that you doing couple talk? Cause if it is, you kinda suck at it.”

Chris knew he must have looked pretty taken aback at that, because Steve laughed, made a noise that suspiciously sounded like “aw, darling” and hugged him carefully. He let both arms rest near Chris' body before slowly moving away again. Chris reached out, catching Steve's arm with his right hand and pulled him back down. He held on, resting his forehead against Steve's shoulder.

“That's not what I meant,” Steve said, and Chris huffed against Steve's neck. “No, really, it's... are you sure?”

“Course I'm sure,” Chris mumbled, “Thought this through. Why do you think it took me that long?”
“True,” Steve smirked, “Do you think you're ready for this? Calling it what it is?”

“Well, I'm ready if you're willing.”
“Oh, I'm willing,” Steve laughed again, before pulling fully away and frowning slightly.

“You're not only saying that because you hit your head, right?
“What? No.”
“Good.”

“Did I scare you that bad,” Chris asked. He remembered how Steve had looked when he had come running from the porch.

“You did.”

There was an apology on the tip of his tongue, but that was too close to saying other things, so Chris just looked at Steve and hoped he'd read him as well as usually.

“Does that mean I'm fired?” Steve said after a pause.

“What? No. Just that you will move into the main house.”
“Where I'm living anyway...”
“It means you're staying in the master bedroom then. And that you don't have to do all the cooking all the time... yeah, alright, you're fired.”

Steve grinned slyly.

“Yeah,” he said. “I think I can live with that.”

He leaned in and kissed Chris gently.

“Wrap it up, you lovebirds. Gotta get the shoulder fixed before sunset.”
“Coming,” Steve yelled.

“You ready,” he then said to Chris, quietly and already leaning forward to help him up.
“Yeah,” Chris said. “Yeah.”

They could get settled later, Chris decided. They would decide what to tell the other boys on their ride to town, should Jeff let them, and then sort things out. But right now, Steve's arm was warm around his waist as Steve was helping him up, and he was right there and staying. When Steve smiled at him, warm and hopeful and only a little worried, Chris could only smile back.