A major update:
My daughter is now 19 months... She's speaking spanish, saying hank you, please, and welcome, kissing me goodbye, waving and what not.... Too many things have happened, to say exactly other than the fact that I am such a strong woman and deserve the world handed to me (not to sound full of myself,) but I DO D-E-S-E-V-E-R it.
I had my own apartment but things didn't go according to plan as far as relationship, marriage, or even keeping the apartment in my name. I got kicked out of my apartment then my life threatened and finally I said TO HELL WITH IT AND I AM GOING TO MAKE MY LIFE BETTER NOT ONLY FOR MY CHILD BUT FOR MYSELF AS WELL.
I miss my apartment terribly and my love, Josh, but what else can I do? NOTHING, and to be honest, I don't care quite honestly. As long as I have a roof over my head, food in our bellies, a job, and I am bringing in some sort of income; I am A-OKAY with it. Things will fall into place sooner or later.
However, I do miss Josh VERY much indeed but I can't do anything about that.
Anyway, life is full of experiences and as much as I wish I have not had gone through such a HORRIBLE experience with such things, I can't do anything about it.
I know what I want, what I don't want, what I will NOT settle for. I know myself better now than E.V.E.R.