(no subject)
New Years wasn't too bad. I brought it in with the family and Josh.
Sat at home, drank a little Vanilla Rum and Cola. Headed off to bed between 3-4.
Work's good. Bumped up from 10 hours a week to 20-26 hours. My co-workers are nicer to me. I'm digging it. Although I have to run to the mall to get some white Dickies.
Two nights ago I had to put away my memories in order to move on. So I put everything into a shoe box and put it in the top of my closet. It's not complete closure but it's a start. As I've said many, many times before he'll always be a part of my life and I'll hold onto all the great memories, but as far as the painful memories, I had to put them away even if it means not wanting to look at his possessions and moving on just a little bit at a time.
Josh has been here since Christmas night.
Today is our 2 month anniversary. I opened myself up and handed him a piece of me. Something that belongs to him now. But, next thing I realize I'm beginning to let my mind run and I get teary eyed. He told me it was OK to be scared but just know that he'll be here for me. I know he means it. I know he's genuine. It's just... I need that control that way I won't get hurt if something goes wrong, and if I do it won't be as bad as jumping into something with your eyes closed.
I've never had a relationship hit the two month mark. It's a little strange and it makes me wonder, "If it's not going to end at 2 months, is it going to happen at 4 months? or 6 months?" As I'm sure it'll be even harder for me then if something along those lines were to happen to me.
Thomy's still very close to my heart and I will always love him, but right now... We're friends. That's what will be till the time comes to find out whether we'll stay as friends, become more than friends once again, or distant ourselves from one another - I hope that doesn't happen.
For right now, this is my new life. This is what I have created for myself and I am going to live it.
This is a new year. My year. My chance.
Sat at home, drank a little Vanilla Rum and Cola. Headed off to bed between 3-4.
Work's good. Bumped up from 10 hours a week to 20-26 hours. My co-workers are nicer to me. I'm digging it. Although I have to run to the mall to get some white Dickies.
Two nights ago I had to put away my memories in order to move on. So I put everything into a shoe box and put it in the top of my closet. It's not complete closure but it's a start. As I've said many, many times before he'll always be a part of my life and I'll hold onto all the great memories, but as far as the painful memories, I had to put them away even if it means not wanting to look at his possessions and moving on just a little bit at a time.
Josh has been here since Christmas night.
Today is our 2 month anniversary. I opened myself up and handed him a piece of me. Something that belongs to him now. But, next thing I realize I'm beginning to let my mind run and I get teary eyed. He told me it was OK to be scared but just know that he'll be here for me. I know he means it. I know he's genuine. It's just... I need that control that way I won't get hurt if something goes wrong, and if I do it won't be as bad as jumping into something with your eyes closed.
I've never had a relationship hit the two month mark. It's a little strange and it makes me wonder, "If it's not going to end at 2 months, is it going to happen at 4 months? or 6 months?" As I'm sure it'll be even harder for me then if something along those lines were to happen to me.
Thomy's still very close to my heart and I will always love him, but right now... We're friends. That's what will be till the time comes to find out whether we'll stay as friends, become more than friends once again, or distant ourselves from one another - I hope that doesn't happen.
For right now, this is my new life. This is what I have created for myself and I am going to live it.
This is a new year. My year. My chance.