cookies - my helluva attempt
Ok, so we had our friends over last night to do cookies - I needed them for today's snack day at work... It was a step for me as well as for all of us to be together again and try to be friends. I can only speak for myself when I say it was a little difficult - perhaps it was for others as well... for whatever reason. It was difficult for me for a number of reasons... I had to get lit to even make it happen (soon, I really think soon, I could do it without a cruch)... I was trying to be a good hostess and make sure everyone had drinks and/or snacks and was as comfortable as possible... I was tending the fire, making conversation... doing my best. And wondering the wandering thoughts of others in the house... Watching reactions by everyone with every movement... I had to just chill by myself by the fire for a little bit - afraid I'd make someone uncomfortable (how considerate - *pats self on back*). If I could just sit inside someone else's head for like 10mins... Or if I could have someone sit inside mine...
But now I feel bad because Dani ended up making all my cookies. Damnit! I wanted to do that with her, but I screwed up again... But I really freakin' tried... I did. And I think it was a good effort, and I think it was appreciated and all in all, it was a good time. Chalk up another good memory. If I can just make enough good ones to erase the bad ones...
Thank you, Dani, if you read this, for last evening. For the experience as well as the cookies. :) (I will send you an email just in case so you know how much I appreciate it).
And now I sit wondering what attempts are being made on the other ends of things... Why am I working my ass off to patch things? I'm the one that freakin needs to be patched... We shall see. We certainly shall see...
My hat is off to K for her attempts and her motivation to make up to B. I'm cheerin' for her. Even knowing how much B has been hurt by K. Hopefully B will be responsive... That is my hope.
My hat is also off to D for any attempt she makes to make up to T. It is my hope that T sees exactly what attempts are being made and realizes that they are actually being made... and if none are made, then it is my hope that T sees this as well.
Yesterday I spent a good portion of an hour or so looking up interesting quotes. I will sign off with a few now. For those reading this, perhaps they may touch you in more ways than one. Open your mind to understand them from the perspective of a forgiver as well as one needing forgiveness. (ooo, philosophical of a morning I am...- no, seriously).
"It is easier to forgive an enemy than a friend." - Madame Dorothee Deluzy.
"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free." - Catherine Ponder.
"In the long run, it's not a question of whether they deserve to be forgiven. You're not forgiving them for their sake. You're doing it for yourself. For your own health and well-being, forgiveness is simply the most energy-efficient option. It frees you from the incredibly toxic, debilitating drain of holding a grudge. Don't let these people live rent free in your head. If they hurt you before, why let them keep doing it year after year in your mind? It's not worth it but it takes heart effort to stop it. You can muster that heart power to forgive them as a way of looking out for yourself. It's one thing you can be totally selfish about." - Doc Childre and Howard Martin.
"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending." - Carl Bard.
"Forgiveness is the final form of love." - Reinhold Niebuhr.
"After all this is over, all that will really have mattered is how we treated each other." - Unknown.
"Be kind, remember everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." - T. H. Thompson.
But now I feel bad because Dani ended up making all my cookies. Damnit! I wanted to do that with her, but I screwed up again... But I really freakin' tried... I did. And I think it was a good effort, and I think it was appreciated and all in all, it was a good time. Chalk up another good memory. If I can just make enough good ones to erase the bad ones...
Thank you, Dani, if you read this, for last evening. For the experience as well as the cookies. :) (I will send you an email just in case so you know how much I appreciate it).
And now I sit wondering what attempts are being made on the other ends of things... Why am I working my ass off to patch things? I'm the one that freakin needs to be patched... We shall see. We certainly shall see...
My hat is off to K for her attempts and her motivation to make up to B. I'm cheerin' for her. Even knowing how much B has been hurt by K. Hopefully B will be responsive... That is my hope.
My hat is also off to D for any attempt she makes to make up to T. It is my hope that T sees exactly what attempts are being made and realizes that they are actually being made... and if none are made, then it is my hope that T sees this as well.
Yesterday I spent a good portion of an hour or so looking up interesting quotes. I will sign off with a few now. For those reading this, perhaps they may touch you in more ways than one. Open your mind to understand them from the perspective of a forgiver as well as one needing forgiveness. (ooo, philosophical of a morning I am...- no, seriously).
"It is easier to forgive an enemy than a friend." - Madame Dorothee Deluzy.
"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free." - Catherine Ponder.
"In the long run, it's not a question of whether they deserve to be forgiven. You're not forgiving them for their sake. You're doing it for yourself. For your own health and well-being, forgiveness is simply the most energy-efficient option. It frees you from the incredibly toxic, debilitating drain of holding a grudge. Don't let these people live rent free in your head. If they hurt you before, why let them keep doing it year after year in your mind? It's not worth it but it takes heart effort to stop it. You can muster that heart power to forgive them as a way of looking out for yourself. It's one thing you can be totally selfish about." - Doc Childre and Howard Martin.
"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending." - Carl Bard.
"Forgiveness is the final form of love." - Reinhold Niebuhr.
"After all this is over, all that will really have mattered is how we treated each other." - Unknown.
"Be kind, remember everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." - T. H. Thompson.