Am I tell myself the truth this time?
I am done. I have had all I can take. I want to scream. I want to break things. I want to cry until my ducts are dry. I tell myself I am beautiful just so I don't have to think of the way you look at her. You lied to me. You still are. Why are you such a gutless coward? Why can't you just fess up and tell the truth when you are wrong? I know why... Why is it that I am here still. I kept telling myself and you I am here because I love you, but you have slowly drained my soul dry. My heart still mourns for you as if you were dead. My mind wanders slowly and lonely across this open plain called life. I feel so alone and disgusted with myself and this world I am forced to be apart of. Strangers tell me more often then you how pretty I am and what a great personality I have. And you sit there and walk all over my every being. I don't understand why you hurt me and do the things to me that you do, but at the same time, be so nice and sweet and caring. I want you to love me and me only and be honest with me. That is all I ask for and you can't even do that.
I am holding on to something that does not exist. If you really love me, you will show me how you care. You will stop this charade of stupid actions and help me fix this. I cannot fix this on my own without you changing at all. It is impossible. You need to prove to me you can be trusted and show me that I am the only one in your life. If you cannot do that, then we cannot be. Those words pierce my heart like a hot iron being thrust into it, but they need to be said. I need to say them. I need you to know that this is slowly killing me on the inside and draining my every feeling. I weep for you more often then I should. Please be a good man, do the right thing. If you cannot, I must go. I must run away and never return...
I am holding on to something that does not exist. If you really love me, you will show me how you care. You will stop this charade of stupid actions and help me fix this. I cannot fix this on my own without you changing at all. It is impossible. You need to prove to me you can be trusted and show me that I am the only one in your life. If you cannot do that, then we cannot be. Those words pierce my heart like a hot iron being thrust into it, but they need to be said. I need to say them. I need you to know that this is slowly killing me on the inside and draining my every feeling. I weep for you more often then I should. Please be a good man, do the right thing. If you cannot, I must go. I must run away and never return...