Dear Future Eleanor,
You broke up with Steve because of a lack of consideration he was showing for you, not because you are a crazy jealous bitch. Don't be friends with him unless he apologizes--for the behavior pattern, not any one specific instance--and don't sleep with him unless he's really changed. "Getting back together" is better because once you're happy and settled, he can take you for granted, it doesn't mean that things will stay good.
You wanted him to be your boyfriend; he wanted you to be the girl that sometimes came up with fun stuff to do, played computer games, and fucked him whenever no one else was around to. His money, his dick, and his companionship were not, towards the end at least, worth all the heartbreak, and they may never be again. Other people have money, other men have dicks, and there are plenty of people who will keep you warm at night. You are NOT too good for all of them.
If you're missing him, if you want to bring him back to anchor your life, go make friends. Find some people who have the power to cheer you up with their presence but not the power to break your heart.
Remember: You didn't just break up because he didn't call on your birthday, or because he forgot he forgot your birthday. That was part of a larger pattern of behavior stretching back at least to when you broke up with Kyle. That was just the straw that broke the camel's back. It's a good thing he did something so clearly awful, because it gave you the conviction to not let him convince you to stay.
Love, past Eleanor
P.S. If you really want to spend time with him, go tell Andrew why, and then LISTEN TO WHAT HE HAS TO SAY.
P.P.S. To anyone who's still reading this journal, I got the idea from How I Met Your Mother but unlike Ted I don't have a For my Biographer box. Yet.
You wanted him to be your boyfriend; he wanted you to be the girl that sometimes came up with fun stuff to do, played computer games, and fucked him whenever no one else was around to. His money, his dick, and his companionship were not, towards the end at least, worth all the heartbreak, and they may never be again. Other people have money, other men have dicks, and there are plenty of people who will keep you warm at night. You are NOT too good for all of them.
If you're missing him, if you want to bring him back to anchor your life, go make friends. Find some people who have the power to cheer you up with their presence but not the power to break your heart.
Remember: You didn't just break up because he didn't call on your birthday, or because he forgot he forgot your birthday. That was part of a larger pattern of behavior stretching back at least to when you broke up with Kyle. That was just the straw that broke the camel's back. It's a good thing he did something so clearly awful, because it gave you the conviction to not let him convince you to stay.
Love, past Eleanor
P.S. If you really want to spend time with him, go tell Andrew why, and then LISTEN TO WHAT HE HAS TO SAY.
P.P.S. To anyone who's still reading this journal, I got the idea from How I Met Your Mother but unlike Ted I don't have a For my Biographer box. Yet.