i'm freezing and i can't seem to fight the lethargy.

[unctuousfemale]

if you have ever seen a girl play a slow soft tune on the piano
and turn her head to you
and smile softly
i think you would know how it feels
to be appreciated.
i have always wanted a harp.
by always i mean since i wrote that sentence.

i believe in cheating during a relationship
i don't believe in cheating in marriage.
unless they both talk it over and know what's going down.

i hold feelings for ficticious characters.
is it bad?
i will cry rivers for movies, books, plays
but i will not cry for humans you can touch.
if i do i will deny it.

i know falling in love with a boy who didn't love me back was a dumb idea to do last year
but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.
he wasn't cute. he had curly red hair. his skin was pasty. but he had a nice butt.
we created other worlds together
we dubbed people from far away.
i made paper hearts for him
i'll admit it. i sometimes miss him.
i regret not saying bye to him.
but then again i don't.

this isn't teen angst
it's bull shit.
chopped up
minced.
and thrown into your cereal bowl.

i wish i could inject something into my life
my internship with dr. deutch is kind of growing blah.
i want to grow a garden.
but the chickens in my backyard will just scratch up my dirt.
scratchin.

it's sadder when the girl that smiled softly
pivots away from you
and regrets.