my mind is gonna burst
nother allniter. nother waste of time as my procrastination bug has not reached critical destruction need to finsih this mode. Instead, i look through some articles, try to put some equations in matlab and realize i still suck major moose balls in programming, as well as trying to remember my computational neuro. got till the 18th to do this, but its all i have left. besides a honking test in january. but just finish this and ill realease the endorphins. hate this work. going to the conference rekindled my love of the brain, but working on this is just killing my inspiration to actually do anything in it. it feels like you just gotta get lucky and get the right teachers and all that to get anywhere. and i sure as hell aint getting into grad school with no specials on my apps. i feel like i should just take those temp animal caring jobs and then try to move up the experimental animal ladder. get my AALAC (or whatever) and just be a lab monkey for monkies for a few years. try to keep my head on the dopamine world as best i can. Just feel so drained. my jobs now 6 days a week which means i have no time. i feel like i need to be up every otehr night if i want to finish this project. It took me so long to debug my hodgkin huxley last year, and that was with a TA. i dont want to ask my peers how to do things i bet they can whip off in a few days easy. Im just buggin.
as for good news, i had a wonderful (albiet short) time over at mikeys for thanksgiving. but driving 12+ hoours in less than 36 makes me ache. i also got an ipod touch for my birthday from gwandpaw, which is especially good as right now my computer is dead so being able to check mail without one is essential. though all i got music wise on it is my sisters shit, which is mostly good but peppered with too much softer, yuck singers like john mayer and jack johnson and other karp. my one hitter tastes like shit. While i model time, time is being stolen from me. my time has cum, and not in the good way.
And for a final note remind me to post some of my journal i found from my solo trip to thailand, right after my freshman year when i was a horny yungin learning to drink and listening to lots and lots of sublime and nine inch nails.
as for good news, i had a wonderful (albiet short) time over at mikeys for thanksgiving. but driving 12+ hoours in less than 36 makes me ache. i also got an ipod touch for my birthday from gwandpaw, which is especially good as right now my computer is dead so being able to check mail without one is essential. though all i got music wise on it is my sisters shit, which is mostly good but peppered with too much softer, yuck singers like john mayer and jack johnson and other karp. my one hitter tastes like shit. While i model time, time is being stolen from me. my time has cum, and not in the good way.
And for a final note remind me to post some of my journal i found from my solo trip to thailand, right after my freshman year when i was a horny yungin learning to drink and listening to lots and lots of sublime and nine inch nails.