When I Wake I'm Going Out Of My Mind
Out late with Aaron last night lead to sleeping in late this morning. Which turned into being up late tonight. I spent the wee hours after SNL (where Passion Pit kicked ass) watching Men In Black 3. Honestly it was better than I expected.
A few things bugging me right now. Mostly its money. I don't like going to work 5 days a week, getting paid every 2 weeks, and having $0 to spend in my bank account. Bills are part of being an adult, I get that. What sucks is that I've got so many. Its like I'm buried and can't dig out from under the soil. Not just some soil, the dirt piles higher every day. My options for fixing this are few, and with them I don't know which to pick.
I've always been terrible at decisions, I guess. I realized today at the store (more money gone) that I'm probably terrible to grocery shop with. I know that I like what I like but planning meals further ahead than later that day isnt fun. Whats fun is feeling semi giggly from last nights drunk and having fun with that while pushing the cart around. Nothing grand or complicated about that, its just a little moment I enjoyed.
Tomorrow Cass and Paul are supposed to come over and we're going to have a sorta cook out. Sorta because none of us know exactly what were going to cook. Partly because most of us are broke. No matter whats decided, I'm sure it'll be a good day. The Walking Dead starts up again and we're all fans, so that calls for hanging out and watching it. That, I am perfectly ok with.
I wonder if the people who I've told I love (friendly or as more) know I mean it. I was telling Aaron "I love you" last night as he dropped me off and I think he knows I meant it. I think he means it when he says it. I wonder how many people do. Whether you're my friend, my family, or on the short list of people I've said "I love you" (relationship wise) to, know that I mean that. Its not a word I handle lightly with people. Not an emotion I deal lightly with either.
I guess this feeling of I don't know is gonna linger over me for the rest of my life. Sometimes I wonder if that means there's something wrong with me.
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