stairway
there is always the experience that i have with the anxiety of the possibility that my dad won't come when he is supposed to come. that i will have gotten excited over nothing, gotten ready for nothing, and that he will cancel last minute and/or not show up at all. it's a pathetic waiting.
if he does appear in my driveway, this afternoon should be interesting. i haven't seen him (except for a minute on Christmas) since i left for Arizona when he came to say goodbye to me at 2am, when the last thing i needed was for him to call me back two minutes after leaving, crying. and i will see my grandmother, my Nanny, and she will look down and feel frustrated but more sad than anything else. my dad will try to make her remember, but she can't remember what she doesn't want to.
if he does appear in my driveway, this afternoon should be interesting. i haven't seen him (except for a minute on Christmas) since i left for Arizona when he came to say goodbye to me at 2am, when the last thing i needed was for him to call me back two minutes after leaving, crying. and i will see my grandmother, my Nanny, and she will look down and feel frustrated but more sad than anything else. my dad will try to make her remember, but she can't remember what she doesn't want to.