lonely thoughts
i dont knoe wut to do. i mean i thought life would get better if i changed, like everyone expected me to. they wanted bright colors.i gave them bright colors. they wanted a positive attitude and i gave them that too!but its not enough. i dont knoe wut they want!=< its not fair. i turned my life around to make them happy.And instead theyve become greedy and expect something i cant give them.im not sure. for now ill keep calm.theres nothing i can do to change it.yea im pretty sure one of u will say "because u wont do anything to change it" i knoe its my fault.so y am i bitching?! because i can! its my fucken journal and ill complain as much as possible!sorry i jus had one of those mements when i have to take it out on everyone else.
school hmmm wut can i say? well i hang out with all these fun loving people.but theres a few people in particular that i jus rather stay away from.alina is one of them at the moment.i didnt knoe she exploited my news to her friends.that pissed me off so damn much.i have a hard time trusting people as it is.shit the only person i trust completely is jake.so for me to talk 2 someone else is jus really awkward.anyway i havent told her cuz i jus want to forget about it. its nothing big and its not important.then theres this stupid drama about richard. im not getting into detail but im upset w/ her about it too.as close as me and alina are. i dont think i can keep on telling her wut goes on in my head.
well then theres my adorable jake.im not sure its healthy for me to love him so much. i mean easliy he can brush me off and leave.i wouldnt be surprised jk =) thats a lie.but i feel if he leaves there no telling wut may become of me.i hate being so damn attached!it drives me crazy.i have to learn to let go or else im gonna spend the rest of my life thinking about him.=< i dunno maybe im crazy. or maybe i should take my buddy's advise and move on. im told its the only way.but i dont want to.the last thing i want is to leave him.theres no doubt in my mind that choke him if i find him w/ anyone else. lol =) im joking. i love him too much to do such a thing.instead ill create a perfect piece of art like last time. well im tired. i have to finish posting to others. muah!
school hmmm wut can i say? well i hang out with all these fun loving people.but theres a few people in particular that i jus rather stay away from.alina is one of them at the moment.i didnt knoe she exploited my news to her friends.that pissed me off so damn much.i have a hard time trusting people as it is.shit the only person i trust completely is jake.so for me to talk 2 someone else is jus really awkward.anyway i havent told her cuz i jus want to forget about it. its nothing big and its not important.then theres this stupid drama about richard. im not getting into detail but im upset w/ her about it too.as close as me and alina are. i dont think i can keep on telling her wut goes on in my head.
well then theres my adorable jake.im not sure its healthy for me to love him so much. i mean easliy he can brush me off and leave.i wouldnt be surprised jk =) thats a lie.but i feel if he leaves there no telling wut may become of me.i hate being so damn attached!it drives me crazy.i have to learn to let go or else im gonna spend the rest of my life thinking about him.=< i dunno maybe im crazy. or maybe i should take my buddy's advise and move on. im told its the only way.but i dont want to.the last thing i want is to leave him.theres no doubt in my mind that choke him if i find him w/ anyone else. lol =) im joking. i love him too much to do such a thing.instead ill create a perfect piece of art like last time. well im tired. i have to finish posting to others. muah!