and though you'll be my burden now, you'll love me and pretend to hate

[unconsciousmind]

i've been trying not to update as ive had nothing good to say, i've just been in a shitty mood ever since i came back to leeds, it seems to be for no particular reason and that just makes it more frustrating and some how makes it worse. its as if ive reverted to the miserable self-pitying dickhead that i was in sixth form. perhaps my life is just doomed to repeat a cycle and im only ever allowed to be happy for a certain length of time regardless of what actually happens. i'm sure it will pass and everything will return to just how it was, but at the moment i feel shit.
last term the thought of going home didnt cross my mind, but at the end of the holidays i didnt want to leave. and then theres the fact that deep down id really rather concentrate on music, especially my relatively new band, as much as that would be a bullshit waste of time and id never amount to anything, and least id be doing what i want to do. and joe is a quality singer so that would help somewhere down the line im sure. but then i guess we could give it a go when we've finished uni and got ourself some qualifications.

on a related note, i've made some rather good music of my own this week, and i think i might have found a vocalist, which would be nice...providing she actually likes my production of course, which is not exactly a minor detail