Hey there green eyes
Perhaps we find parts of ourselves in characters so we can watch how they experience the pain that we two are going through. The words can work out what are crazy little brains cant decipher, they can sort out our ragged hearts and muddled up minds. We can watch them do everything we wish we could; watch them be loved by those that we know will never love us.
It's a little quiet thing, I think, growing up, It can happen in on a highway or while someone cries on your shirt, and you might prefer that it would happen some other way, but then it's come and it's never going to go and there's nothing anyone can do about it.
(For those shoe boxies out there yes its been adapted and I have credited ladyjaida <<< see and again ladyjaida )
Music does the same thing but it makes life liveable, it puts a melody to the words and pain and confusion and even to the joy, it gives us something to breath to, to live to, to keep on going.
The words and the colours and the melodies, without them how could be continue?
I just wish I could help out more, take away all of this fear of failure and of being so thoroughly alone, because with the end of school it comes, to us all at one stage and if I can help others, take away the pain then I can continue to live with myself, I'm so lost at the moment, helpless, I feel like a nuisance.
I craved something I hadn't wanted or admitted I wanted in a very long time, I pushed it away told myself that I was over it, a silly thought and yet there is was, it hurt more than most things I ever remember.
Woke up this morning believing that my mother was dead, she was going to die in a car crash, really fucked up but hey, it was so very weird and I was so upset, I felt so helpless like there was no hope left, nothing would be right again.
Perhaps the lack of sleep is clearing out cracks in my head, I'm not sure.
I saw the end of my world today, rode until the road ran out, I found every answer I needed and let myself cry, I let myself fall and then picked myself up and realised that if I'm not there for myself then no one will be.
She told our history to a friend in front of me, I can hear every word and its bothering me, it always does so i often pretend i don't know it.
Death is sickening, it seeps into every thought, every sad song suddenly becomes about it, your problems seem obsolete and you feel guilty for being effected so terribly, you feel so self absorbed.
Such nothingness, I'm not sure what to think at the moment, what am I doing to those who i leave behind will you all remember me? Will I come back and no longer fit in, no longer be at home, will I loose everything I have worked so hard to gain.
I'm not sure what I need or want,
I need change
I need a new begging
I need to know I can do it by myself that things have changed
i need to realise that high school was a joke
That the true friends are the ones you will never loose
I want to be happy
I want you all to be happy
I need you to forgive me for leaving and not miss me while I'm still here
So let me leave, miss me, but keep loving me, because if you forget then I am as good as dead and if I disappear I beg that you come looking for me, for I will be there, lost somewhere within the darkness of myself.
Light the fire to guide me home, we will never loose what we love
It's a little quiet thing, I think, growing up, It can happen in on a highway or while someone cries on your shirt, and you might prefer that it would happen some other way, but then it's come and it's never going to go and there's nothing anyone can do about it.
(For those shoe boxies out there yes its been adapted and I have credited ladyjaida <<< see and again ladyjaida )
Music does the same thing but it makes life liveable, it puts a melody to the words and pain and confusion and even to the joy, it gives us something to breath to, to live to, to keep on going.
The words and the colours and the melodies, without them how could be continue?
I just wish I could help out more, take away all of this fear of failure and of being so thoroughly alone, because with the end of school it comes, to us all at one stage and if I can help others, take away the pain then I can continue to live with myself, I'm so lost at the moment, helpless, I feel like a nuisance.
I craved something I hadn't wanted or admitted I wanted in a very long time, I pushed it away told myself that I was over it, a silly thought and yet there is was, it hurt more than most things I ever remember.
Woke up this morning believing that my mother was dead, she was going to die in a car crash, really fucked up but hey, it was so very weird and I was so upset, I felt so helpless like there was no hope left, nothing would be right again.
Perhaps the lack of sleep is clearing out cracks in my head, I'm not sure.
I saw the end of my world today, rode until the road ran out, I found every answer I needed and let myself cry, I let myself fall and then picked myself up and realised that if I'm not there for myself then no one will be.
She told our history to a friend in front of me, I can hear every word and its bothering me, it always does so i often pretend i don't know it.
Death is sickening, it seeps into every thought, every sad song suddenly becomes about it, your problems seem obsolete and you feel guilty for being effected so terribly, you feel so self absorbed.
Such nothingness, I'm not sure what to think at the moment, what am I doing to those who i leave behind will you all remember me? Will I come back and no longer fit in, no longer be at home, will I loose everything I have worked so hard to gain.
I'm not sure what I need or want,
I need change
I need a new begging
I need to know I can do it by myself that things have changed
i need to realise that high school was a joke
That the true friends are the ones you will never loose
I want to be happy
I want you all to be happy
I need you to forgive me for leaving and not miss me while I'm still here
So let me leave, miss me, but keep loving me, because if you forget then I am as good as dead and if I disappear I beg that you come looking for me, for I will be there, lost somewhere within the darkness of myself.
Light the fire to guide me home, we will never loose what we love