...and all because I wanted some popcorn
Hey all,
I'm really thankful and happy to be here right now since I almost burned my kitchen & subsequently my house down all in the interest of cooking some popcorn. I usually avoid the microwave version just because it's so much more when you can just pop it yourself. I know, people get them for the convience & the butter greatness but that's just me. Anyways, I get a tall pot out and try to remember how I did the old school oil-based stovetop popcorn. It had been a long while but I figured to heat up the oil first before putting the kernels in so I poured some oil in and put the lid on while on high heat. Couple minutes later, I go back into the kitchen (yes I left it unattended) and pull the top off the pot. Immediately a white smoke pours out and up like from a chimney. I figure I fucked up and turned off the burner, this way I would remove the heat and let it it just settle. However, I failed to take into account the same physics that oil refineries have to deal with in regards to oil - when the conditions are just right you'll get a flash ignition...and boy did I get one. In a second it went from belching white smoke to 2-foot tall flames. The flames then continued to get bigger & taller to the point that I had to incline my head to see the top of the oil inferno. I of course act like a man and just start saying, "Oh Shit! Oh Shit! Fuck OH SHIT!" I'm thinking of the flames hitting the ceiling and starting to work on my bedroom above so time to douse the flames. I start to head for the sink & remember something I saw on History Channel about a refinery fire - they use foam or anything other than water to douse a oil fire. "Oil and Water don't mix...duh, what a dumbass!" Then I remember the fire extinguisher nearby. However, they were really old and never used or replaced. I grabbed it, pulled the pin and prayed as I pulled the trigger. It belched out what air it had left and some of the powdered flame retardant within. The fire was killed instantly and the stench of burning cooking oil pervaded the kitchen & living room. I look at the gauge & the extinguisher reads "Empty" meaning no more propellant. I'm thankful there was enough but I was within 3 feet of the fire so when they one blast hit, it splashed a bit of the hot oil on my hands. Just a couple blisters on my fingers but they're dealt with just fine with Band-Aid & First Aid Cream. Of course, before I do any of this recollection & working on my burns, I open the screen door & toss the pot onto the snow-covered porch to get it outside. Turned off the furnace & allowed the outside to take the smoke out of the living areas.
I sit down in the living room, wishing I had a fifth of Scotch or Jack to toss down while thinking of how close I came to burning my house down. Pissed off at myself, I was able to get help from my brother Daniel to clean up the stovetop of the something - perclorate powder that killed the fire. Got everything cleaned up, aired out the house & even went on to vaccuum the area to make sure it was clean. Of course I was still hankering for some popcorn so I just brought out the air-popper. Not as much flavor in the air-popped compared to the oil-popped but at this point, I'm just glad I've still got a roof over my head so I can enjoy my air-popped delicacy.
Well, that's it from me. Take care all. I'm sure I'll be seeing the flames in my dreams when I hit the sack. Oh Joy...
I'm really thankful and happy to be here right now since I almost burned my kitchen & subsequently my house down all in the interest of cooking some popcorn. I usually avoid the microwave version just because it's so much more when you can just pop it yourself. I know, people get them for the convience & the butter greatness but that's just me. Anyways, I get a tall pot out and try to remember how I did the old school oil-based stovetop popcorn. It had been a long while but I figured to heat up the oil first before putting the kernels in so I poured some oil in and put the lid on while on high heat. Couple minutes later, I go back into the kitchen (yes I left it unattended) and pull the top off the pot. Immediately a white smoke pours out and up like from a chimney. I figure I fucked up and turned off the burner, this way I would remove the heat and let it it just settle. However, I failed to take into account the same physics that oil refineries have to deal with in regards to oil - when the conditions are just right you'll get a flash ignition...and boy did I get one. In a second it went from belching white smoke to 2-foot tall flames. The flames then continued to get bigger & taller to the point that I had to incline my head to see the top of the oil inferno. I of course act like a man and just start saying, "Oh Shit! Oh Shit! Fuck OH SHIT!" I'm thinking of the flames hitting the ceiling and starting to work on my bedroom above so time to douse the flames. I start to head for the sink & remember something I saw on History Channel about a refinery fire - they use foam or anything other than water to douse a oil fire. "Oil and Water don't mix...duh, what a dumbass!" Then I remember the fire extinguisher nearby. However, they were really old and never used or replaced. I grabbed it, pulled the pin and prayed as I pulled the trigger. It belched out what air it had left and some of the powdered flame retardant within. The fire was killed instantly and the stench of burning cooking oil pervaded the kitchen & living room. I look at the gauge & the extinguisher reads "Empty" meaning no more propellant. I'm thankful there was enough but I was within 3 feet of the fire so when they one blast hit, it splashed a bit of the hot oil on my hands. Just a couple blisters on my fingers but they're dealt with just fine with Band-Aid & First Aid Cream. Of course, before I do any of this recollection & working on my burns, I open the screen door & toss the pot onto the snow-covered porch to get it outside. Turned off the furnace & allowed the outside to take the smoke out of the living areas.
I sit down in the living room, wishing I had a fifth of Scotch or Jack to toss down while thinking of how close I came to burning my house down. Pissed off at myself, I was able to get help from my brother Daniel to clean up the stovetop of the something - perclorate powder that killed the fire. Got everything cleaned up, aired out the house & even went on to vaccuum the area to make sure it was clean. Of course I was still hankering for some popcorn so I just brought out the air-popper. Not as much flavor in the air-popped compared to the oil-popped but at this point, I'm just glad I've still got a roof over my head so I can enjoy my air-popped delicacy.
Well, that's it from me. Take care all. I'm sure I'll be seeing the flames in my dreams when I hit the sack. Oh Joy...