(no subject)
Hmmm...That was different. I was a total dickhead today, well more specifically tonight. Anyway, I have noticed that over the past few months I have changed, become more, honestly, I don't know what. I think I have grown, matured a bit, taken a new outlook on life. It is nice though-changing and looking back thinking "Wow..That was ME?! I did that?". "Grandpa", when I'm old and retired with grand-children I want to be one of those kind of people you read about in books..warm, wise, comforting with a splash of humor-like Alfred in "Batman", Mr. Miyagi in "The Karate Kid",or Splinter in the "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" movies etc. etc.. I just had this crazy thought. Do you think that because of the lack of a grandfather in my life has this kinda weird effect that makes me want to be a good grandfather? I mean I had a grandfather, Billy was his name.. he was a good guy from what I remember; a warm sense of humor, kind..but he pased away before I really got to know him. He was like me..or I'm like him in that I don't enjoy being alone-a little off subject. I have an aunt never had a father figure in her life because my dads dad (my grandfather on my dads side) left when they were just kids and now for as long as I can remember her husbands have been old men at least 50-no younger. So maybe when you lack something in your life like a father or grandfather there's a place that you are driven to fill because you know what it's like to be without and you don't want your loved ones to be without..or as in my aunts case you're always looking for someone to fill that spot. Of course you hear about those kids who were abused by their parents and then they become abusive cause they think it's natural..but that's a little different, I think that's more psychological-gets a little technical so I'll stop there. Well there's my two cents. I think I'll go shower and then head to bed... Grandfather..how old am I???...