Hardcore Scene
Okay, my friend Tyler (graduated from Dakota in '04) recently posted this in his blog on myspace. It was so amazing that I had to show you guys. Here ya go:
Scene Kids, Scenesters, “emo’s”, electrikk…
These are the elitist, pretentious, narcissistic/egotistical drones that’re poisoning an entire underground music society. And you thought tough guys were hard to get along with!
Before you read any farther though, please know that this is a rant and that not all of the people who look like this are idiots, and not all of them behave in these ways. Many are just normal chums with a unique sense of identity - That’s respectable. The ones I’m poking fun at are the empty shells who do these things to belong because they have no mind of their own, the ones who have no morale or do things for the sake of “art” and/or “music” without reasonable judgment or originality.
Hey, C’mere… you wanna fit into a fun world with no rules, don’tcha? Awesome. Oh, you like metal and emo music? Let me lead you…
Welcome to the made-up wonderland where it is fashionable to dig through your closet and look for all your old t-shirts from second grade; shopping in the kids department again at Mervyns, and wasting money when you could've used it to further your college education and done something useful with your life! Yeah!
Wearing thick black glasses even if you don't need them is good too. Going to every show (even the crappy ones) and meeting everyone in the bands is rad. Definitely take pictures of yourself as often as possible! Oh, but don’t look at the camera when you take photos, and don’t forget to take them at obscure angles without really knowing anything about photography or the rule of thirds. Make sure you cover your mouths or make the “huh?!” face, alright? Replace random vowels with the letter X anddontusespaces or punctuation where applicable. Make obscure statements like “stars are falling into my eyes, violent gun-blasts; Seventeen owls are watching you dance…” that make no sense whatsoever but sound really deep and artistic.
Scene is half the myspace audience, so you’ll need one of those if you really wanna be in. (Be sure to include millions of bands on your page, even if you’ve only heard one song , or your buddy AshesXofXrememberance just told you how sexx they are)
Desperately try to keep the ‘posers’ out of the scene by giving off a distinct "I'm so above you, I'm so hardcore, you're not - go die" attitude. In other words: Hold your white studded belt in greater esteem than your high school/college education.
In an attempt to save your favorite bands from going "mainstream" and selling out, you should scorn if more than three people listen to “your” bands.
Girls in particular - it’s necessary to whore yourselves to appear hardcore and tough. You’re probably the most self-centered of the scene kids and you take pride in acting like sluts and sleeping with as many Emo/Screamo/Hardcore boys as you can. Always try to find a new abstract item to add to your wardrobe, such as a My Little Pony pin or your kid-sisters’ pink head band. This is a must. You’ll loose around 15 hxc points if you don’t add a new item at least once a week And you know what that means! You won’t level up without those points ladies! It’s also a whoppin’ 20 if you smoke, (especially if they’re Lucky Strikes) ‘cause it shows that you can take care of yourself, have an identity and have refined, acquired tastes.
You may even have been emo to begin with, wearing your wool sweaters, striped polo shirts, torn jeans, track jackets, etc, but now… “Emo's suck!” now ‘ya like the “heavy shit” and are obsessed with two stepping at gigs instead of venting your immature emo-tions, er, feelings.
Uh oh! I’m running low on air time!
Last minute pointers!
- Use big words to appear intellectual
- Be Greatly offended when called "scene" or "emo"
- Listen to rap almost as much as the "cores" Applecore?
- Throwdown, or two-step often (Practice dummy!), but sometimes refer to it as dancing.
- Hate skaters for some reason
- Claim that everyone copied you
Finally, be Obsessed with:
- Robots
- Zombies
- Dinosaurs
- Being a bandit
- Being a gangsta
- Ebonics
- Arizona Ice Tea
- Bands with exasperatingly long names
- <3 instead of saying "I love you"
- iPods
- Synthesizers
- Keyboards
- Oversized 80’s sunglasses or aviator's glasses
- Heck, anything from the eighties.
- Myspace
- Andy Warhol
- The words heart, gun, bullet, eyes, ashes, ember, sky, red and darkness
- using the F word as a descriptor for just about anything and everything
- Hollywood Undead
- Indie movies
Whew!
Would you like to know what these folks actually look like? ( Maybe you’ve got no clue what I’ve been rambling about ) or maybe you’d even like to dress like one?
Some of their fashion is kinda neat. Some.
What they look like:
Girls:
- Short black/blond hair w/bangs; Reverse mullet
- Thick glasses or huge sunglasses
- Backwards studded belts
- Usually have a pearl necklace
- Rolled up dark jeans that show ass crack
- Mostly black/red/bright pink clothes
- Lip/septum piercings, Monroe piercings, Eyebrow piercings
- Slip on shoes
- Ugly tattoos
- Ears that are gauged
- Pale as hell
- Madd eyeliner
Beware! scene girls look nothing like they do in their myspace pictures!
Guys:
- Same hair as girls, again - Reverse mullet
- Lip rings
- Weigh less then their girlfriends
- Ears that are gauged
- Occasional eyeliner, despite looking terrible.
- Tight, obscure band t-shirts, (youth small)
- Tighter girl jeans
- Chucks, New balance, Asics
- Camo shorts
- Generally similar to the girls dress, but slightly more masculine. Usually.
Beware! Some scene guys dress tougher than others, but don’t get confused!
And now an outlet for your laughter, the scenester and fashioncore gallery:
Wanna see some scenester profiles?
http://home8.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewfriends&friendID=895157&userName=TIM CATA5TROPHE
What I didn’t even delve into - their art. No. I went to art school, that will take me forever to discuss. I’m sure you’ve seen it. Just take a look at the band posters and the band shirts - that’s scene art.
Oh, and why didn’t I go into the mental reasoning behind becoming one of the borg? It’s because this clique is no different from any other. Just people trying to be popular, gain power and fit into a group/feel special somehow. You all know how that works, look it up.
Scene Kids, Scenesters, “emo’s”, electrikk…
These are the elitist, pretentious, narcissistic/egotistical drones that’re poisoning an entire underground music society. And you thought tough guys were hard to get along with!
Before you read any farther though, please know that this is a rant and that not all of the people who look like this are idiots, and not all of them behave in these ways. Many are just normal chums with a unique sense of identity - That’s respectable. The ones I’m poking fun at are the empty shells who do these things to belong because they have no mind of their own, the ones who have no morale or do things for the sake of “art” and/or “music” without reasonable judgment or originality.
Hey, C’mere… you wanna fit into a fun world with no rules, don’tcha? Awesome. Oh, you like metal and emo music? Let me lead you…
Welcome to the made-up wonderland where it is fashionable to dig through your closet and look for all your old t-shirts from second grade; shopping in the kids department again at Mervyns, and wasting money when you could've used it to further your college education and done something useful with your life! Yeah!
Wearing thick black glasses even if you don't need them is good too. Going to every show (even the crappy ones) and meeting everyone in the bands is rad. Definitely take pictures of yourself as often as possible! Oh, but don’t look at the camera when you take photos, and don’t forget to take them at obscure angles without really knowing anything about photography or the rule of thirds. Make sure you cover your mouths or make the “huh?!” face, alright? Replace random vowels with the letter X anddontusespaces or punctuation where applicable. Make obscure statements like “stars are falling into my eyes, violent gun-blasts; Seventeen owls are watching you dance…” that make no sense whatsoever but sound really deep and artistic.
Scene is half the myspace audience, so you’ll need one of those if you really wanna be in. (Be sure to include millions of bands on your page, even if you’ve only heard one song , or your buddy AshesXofXrememberance just told you how sexx they are)
Desperately try to keep the ‘posers’ out of the scene by giving off a distinct "I'm so above you, I'm so hardcore, you're not - go die" attitude. In other words: Hold your white studded belt in greater esteem than your high school/college education.
In an attempt to save your favorite bands from going "mainstream" and selling out, you should scorn if more than three people listen to “your” bands.
Girls in particular - it’s necessary to whore yourselves to appear hardcore and tough. You’re probably the most self-centered of the scene kids and you take pride in acting like sluts and sleeping with as many Emo/Screamo/Hardcore boys as you can. Always try to find a new abstract item to add to your wardrobe, such as a My Little Pony pin or your kid-sisters’ pink head band. This is a must. You’ll loose around 15 hxc points if you don’t add a new item at least once a week And you know what that means! You won’t level up without those points ladies! It’s also a whoppin’ 20 if you smoke, (especially if they’re Lucky Strikes) ‘cause it shows that you can take care of yourself, have an identity and have refined, acquired tastes.
You may even have been emo to begin with, wearing your wool sweaters, striped polo shirts, torn jeans, track jackets, etc, but now… “Emo's suck!” now ‘ya like the “heavy shit” and are obsessed with two stepping at gigs instead of venting your immature emo-tions, er, feelings.
Uh oh! I’m running low on air time!
Last minute pointers!
- Use big words to appear intellectual
- Be Greatly offended when called "scene" or "emo"
- Listen to rap almost as much as the "cores" Applecore?
- Throwdown, or two-step often (Practice dummy!), but sometimes refer to it as dancing.
- Hate skaters for some reason
- Claim that everyone copied you
Finally, be Obsessed with:
- Robots
- Zombies
- Dinosaurs
- Being a bandit
- Being a gangsta
- Ebonics
- Arizona Ice Tea
- Bands with exasperatingly long names
- <3 instead of saying "I love you"
- iPods
- Synthesizers
- Keyboards
- Oversized 80’s sunglasses or aviator's glasses
- Heck, anything from the eighties.
- Myspace
- Andy Warhol
- The words heart, gun, bullet, eyes, ashes, ember, sky, red and darkness
- using the F word as a descriptor for just about anything and everything
- Hollywood Undead
- Indie movies
Whew!
Would you like to know what these folks actually look like? ( Maybe you’ve got no clue what I’ve been rambling about ) or maybe you’d even like to dress like one?
Some of their fashion is kinda neat. Some.
What they look like:
Girls:
- Short black/blond hair w/bangs; Reverse mullet
- Thick glasses or huge sunglasses
- Backwards studded belts
- Usually have a pearl necklace
- Rolled up dark jeans that show ass crack
- Mostly black/red/bright pink clothes
- Lip/septum piercings, Monroe piercings, Eyebrow piercings
- Slip on shoes
- Ugly tattoos
- Ears that are gauged
- Pale as hell
- Madd eyeliner
Beware! scene girls look nothing like they do in their myspace pictures!
Guys:
- Same hair as girls, again - Reverse mullet
- Lip rings
- Weigh less then their girlfriends
- Ears that are gauged
- Occasional eyeliner, despite looking terrible.
- Tight, obscure band t-shirts, (youth small)
- Tighter girl jeans
- Chucks, New balance, Asics
- Camo shorts
- Generally similar to the girls dress, but slightly more masculine. Usually.
Beware! Some scene guys dress tougher than others, but don’t get confused!
And now an outlet for your laughter, the scenester and fashioncore gallery:
Wanna see some scenester profiles?
http://home8.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewfriends&friendID=895157&userName=TIM CATA5TROPHE
What I didn’t even delve into - their art. No. I went to art school, that will take me forever to discuss. I’m sure you’ve seen it. Just take a look at the band posters and the band shirts - that’s scene art.
Oh, and why didn’t I go into the mental reasoning behind becoming one of the borg? It’s because this clique is no different from any other. Just people trying to be popular, gain power and fit into a group/feel special somehow. You all know how that works, look it up.